Phoenix from the ashes
by Shandra23
Summary: A lot of things have changed since the end of the war. Not everything for the better. Heart ache, new friends, strange dreams, tears and an old curse -that's what Hermione's last year at Hogwarts is made of... No bestiality! Human Fawkes!
1. 31 August 1 September

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters, and no copyright infringement is intended; not making any money, but they are fun to play with.

**A/N: **The pairing might suprise some of you -well me too *lol* but I wanted to try something different and I'm doing my best to make it work. I'm no fan of bestiality in any form so anything sexuall will be with people in their human form^^

I'm trying to dig for a little depth with Hermiones character and later with Fawkes, so don't be mad that I need a little time till anything romantic between those two will happen.

This story is AU (who would have guessed...) and Dumbledore is alive (please don't ask me why, I just wanted him to have him in there. I will give you no explanation why but there are plenty -horcrux, polyjuce potion, fake death...I'm sure you all have enough fantasy to come up with a solution of your own if it is important for you)

Remus lives too and he has quite some part in this story. With all the other Marauders dead it's only fair that I try to rescue one.

Sirius, Snape, Tonks, Fred...are all dead though *at least in this story*

I really hope you might enjoy this story and give it a try. Like always I'm 'warning' you. English is not my native language so please don't be too hard when it comes to gramma.

Like any other person on this site I love reviews -good and bad (okay, okay I prefer the good ones but constructive criticism is welcome too).

So here it is...

* * *

A Phoenix from the ashes

Chapter 1:

_31. August - 1. September_

Hermione knew she was dreaming, but at the moment that piece of knowledge wasn't helping her in the slightest.

It was one of those irritating realistic dreams, in which you were aware of the fact that you were dreaming, but you couldn't bring yourself to wake up. Everything was happening like in a Hollywood movie and apparently she was the female star.

At first she was afraid it would be one of her typical nightmares. The ones, were she was in Malfoy Manor again and Bellatrix crazy laughs were nearly over-toning her screams of agony, while she was tortured with the Cruciatus Curse.

In her dreams she would live through the agony again and again till someone showed mercy and woke her up. Normally it was Remus, who came storming into her room, shaking her out of her dream and held her till she stopped crying and shaking.

Sometimes he would spend the night in her bed. Just holding her and whispering soothing words into her hair.

Hermione knew he did that as much for himself as for her. Maybe he hadn't been tortured as openly as she had been, but after all he had had to watch helplessly, while Tonks was being hit with the Killing Curse.

He himself had been barely able to dodge the one thrown in his direction and Hermione had heard him more than once mumble in his own restless dream, that he wished it had been him.

The only thing which kept him sane and alive was his son, Teddy. And maybe, Hermione thought, maybe she had also something to do with it.

Before the war, he had been nothing more than her professor to her. A man she respected gratefully and admired for his knowledge but nothing more. During her time with the order they had barely seen each other, apart from order meetings or holidays. But after the final battle and the defeat of Voldemort, things had changed so much and not all for the better.

The death of her parents and the loss of his wife had weld them together and now, it were the two of them looking out for each other.

Two lonely, broken souls who tried to find their way back to the living. But Hermione guessed she was the one who made the better progress after all, even with her permanent nightmares.

But this one wasn't about Bellatrix Lestrange or one of the other Death Eaters, it was totally different, yet not less frightening.

_She stood in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. It was dark and colder than usual for this time of the year. Her worn out jeans and thin sweater barley protected her from the chilly night air. Shivering slightly, she put her arms around her middle and looked around. _

_Her breath was flat and uneven and it had nothing to do with the weather at all. The longer she stood there, the wilder her heart beat in her chest and her brain reminded her why students ought to stay away from the forest. _

_Ever so slowly she managed to turn around, but it was too dark to make out more than the blurry shadows of the trees. _

_A hoot pierced through air, followed by a hushed rustle and she whirled around with a squeak. Suddenly she remembered that she was a witch and started searching hectically for her wand. _

_It wasn't there. _

_Oh no! No! It couldn't be. It was always in her back pocket or her hand. Since their search for horcruxes preferably in the latter. _

_Her breath hitched in her throat and she twirled a few times around before she was finally able to compose herself. _

_For once she shouldn't be afraid of a lonely dark forest, after facing Voldemort and his cronies and more important: She was in a dream for Merlin's sake! _

_But she couldn't get rid of the nagging fear that forced her whole body to be a little straighter and stiffer than usual. _

_At least she managed to get her breath under control, though her heart, continued to beat faster than it should. _

_For a second she was tempted to just sit down on the ground and sit it out, but as if to change her mind the air seemed to get a little colder than it already was. _

_Great!_

_So no sitting down then. It was too dark to orientate herself on something. She couldn't even see the stars, so she guessed one direction was as good as any other. _

_Slowly, with slightly wobbling legs she started her journey -hopefully out of the forest. With one tiny step in front of the other, she was making her way forward. _

_Hermione wasn't sure, how much time had passed when she finally decided to take rest. Her fear had long before vanished and her heartbeat had slowed down, while her temper was rising slowly but steadily. _

_It was cold, dark and although she should have become accustomed to it by nowt, the never ending noises of the forest were getting on her nerves. _

_At first they had frightened her - now their unsteady nature only frustrated her more with every passing minute. She had never been one for camping, or long walks through the forest, even as a child. She had always preferred a good book with a nice cup of tea to any outdoor activities. _

_Sighing she walked slowly over to the outline of a tree and was about to lean against it, when she saw something shimmer in the distant. _

_A tiny golden light which was fluttering up and down in the air. _

_Hermione wasn't so sure what caused her to do, what she did, but one second she was staring in fascination at the golden point and the next she was running towards it. _

_Running as if there was no tomorrow!_

_She no longer cared for roots, animals or the fact, that she was only wearing a pair of loose sandals. _

_All she could think about was reaching the light, but the nearer she got the further away it seemed at first. It was later -a lot later if her burning lungs and wildly beating heart was anything to go for it -that it appeared somewhat nearer. _

_It was getting bigger and brighter, gliding through the air like a feather, but still too far away to make out its lines. _

_She stumbled over roots and grazed her knees, a bush full of thorns shredded a good deal of her clothes, her legs burned like hell and she was bleeding out of several smaller wounds – and yet she always got on her feet again and followed the light. _

_As if she had been possessed and couldn't stop her body from doing so. _

_Several miles later, she had problems to fill her lungs with enough air to function and she finally had to give her body a rest. Gasping for air, like a drowning man she stumbled to a halt, nearly falling over in the process._

_Sweat was running down her neck and the night air appeared suddenly not cold enough, to cool herself down to a comfortable temperature. _

_When she finally felt strong enough, to straighten her body and regulate her breathing, she looked up. _

_The golden shimmer had disappeared, while the darkness around her was thicker then ever. _

_A wave of unbearable sadness washed over her all of a sudden and she barely could stop herself from crying. _

_Why she didn't know, but the feeling was powerful. _

_Weakened form her run and drained by her sudden sadness she staggered forward. There wasn't a will behind it any longer, but she did it anyway. _

_One foot in front of the other, like a machine programmed to do so. _

_An eternity seemed to have passed, when she reached the end of the forest quite suddenly. The trees simply stopped at one point and she was free. _

_For a long moment she only stood there, tears finally washing over her cheeks, while she stared at the castle in the distance. _

_Hogwarts. _

_Never before, had she been more happy to look at its towers and familiar form. It was still pitch black, but she didn't worry anymore. She knew the way. _

_Though she really wished to see the golden light again. _

_Sighing deeply she closed her eyes for a moment before she stepped out of the forest and made her way up to the castle, which had been her home for the last six years. _

_She couldn't have made more than five or six steps, when she suddenly heard it. _

_A beautiful sound, so soft and warm it made her smile and then suddenly sad and sorrowful enough, to force a new gush of tears. _

_A second later a composition of sounds filled the air, shaking her with its depths of emotion. Never in her life had she thought it possible to feel so many different emotions at once. _

_By now her feet were carrying her on their own, nearer and nearer to the source of the breathtaking music. _

_It was coming from the castle and she went willingly, as long as it meant she could hear more of it._

_Meanwhile the melody had changed into a sinful height, full of longing and her heart reached out for it. It was downright palpable how much the singer was craving for someone. _

_And then suddenly, it changed into an ear-piecing peeping._

With a start Hermione woke up. Groaning she reached out for her alarm clock and was tempted to threw it against the wall.

She still could still hear the beautiful song in the back of her head, although the alarm was making it hard. Finally she decided against the kill and just turned it off.

Defeated she threw her arm over her face and lent back into her pillow. What a way to start this day, she thought. She allowed herself a minute longer to enjoy the warmth and comfort of her bed, before she finally threw the sheets aside.

Today was the first of September and she would finally finish her education at Hogwarts. Like many others from her year Hermione had decided to to go back and take her OWLS. Headmaster Dumbledore had informed them that there would be an eighth year this term.

Basically they would attend classes with the seventh year students and take their exams with them. Though they would get sort of a special treatment. They wouldn't be able to win -or loose -points for their houses but still could get detentions if a professor saw it necessary -sadly.

They were adults now, so there would be no curfew and they were allowed to Hogsmeade anytime they liked after class.

But the best part was, that all of them would get their own rooms in the castle. The only downer was that she wouldn't be head girl this year.

Of course she could understand why Dumbledore couldn't give her the bandage but still it stung. She had worked so hard and then...well, a lot had happened.

Pushing the memories aside, she started to dress herself. She had already packed two days ago and only had to put a few things together this morning.

After a quick shower, she changed into jeans and t-shirt put her hair into a bun before she made her way to the kitchen.

Remus wasn't up yet or maybe he was busy getting Teddy ready for the day. The little boy would accompany his father, who had accepted the position as DADA teacher. Hermione wasn't entirely sure if he wanted the job, but the wizard world was still recovering from the war and teachers were hard to find. She was sure, Dumbledore had used a few well placed words to coax him into teaching.

Probably it was for his best. Hermione was glad to have him with her in the castle, it would give her the opportunity to check on him and the classes would keep him busy.

Unknowingly humming the melody from her dream, she started making breakfast, the muggle way. She loved cocking but never had much time for it, or with Mrs. Weasley presence not the opportunity.

A few minutes later, the door swung open and reviled a somewhat dozy Remus, who carried a happily bubbling Teddy.

"Is that bacon I smell?" the werewolf asked, sniffing the air.

"Yes, there are also beans, eggs and sausages. I hope you have appetite." She smiled, as his face lit up at the mention of all the food.

"Mi!" Came a squeal from the toddler, as he heard her voice.

Smiling brightly she made her way over to the two and took Teddy from his arms. He was now two and a half years old and was becoming quite good at pronouncing words and even speak complete sentences. Still, her name was a hard piece of work and he kept calling her `Mi. He was the only one who could put a smile on her face, with calling her pet names.

"How is my favorite boy, this morning?"

"Good!" He grinned and turned his hair into a bright purple.

Laughing, she gave him a kiss and put him down in his chair. "Are you hungry, honey?" He nodded eagerly, which caused her another smile.

"Pee-nut buta?"he asked.

"Peanut butter," she corrected automatically. "How about half an apple and then toast with peanut butter?"

"And cocoa?"

"Of course!" Hermione nodded.

"Yay! Me get chocolate, daddy!" The toddler beamed at his father, who had watched the scene before him with an open smile.

"Of course you do, buddy!" He winked and then asked Hermione, if he could help with anything.

"You could set the table, if you like!"

"You know, one day you will be a fantastic mom." Remus told her, before he grabbed a couple of plates and cups to put them on the table, so he wasn't able to see her stiffen slightly.

_Not bloody likely. _Hermione thought bitterly.

"_Who would want a boring little know it all, if the world is full of willing, exciting women, who don't need a book to find their way around a man's body."_

She remembered Ron's words vividly. He had been drunk at the time he slurred them and the next day, it was quite obvious that he didn't remember any of it, but it still stung.

Before the war, Hermione fancied herself in love with Ron and even after everything what happened on the hunt, she still had hopes for the two of them.

Even after he had abandoned Harry and her. He came back after all, didn't he? She told herself that it was all that mattered.

Now she wasn't so sure any more. Ron certainly hadn't come back for her, not even for Harry. The reason which forced him to come back was guilt. Pure and simple.

And she had to admit, that she could have forgiven him even that. Merlin knows, she had forgiven him a lot of things and maybe she was still willing to do so.

But since the war had ended and the three of them were celebrated as war heroes, Ron had changed a lot. While Harry and she avoided the media and public as much as possible, Ronald had no such qualms. He downright sunned himself in all of the attention to his person and never missed his chance, to promote his heroic deeds.

She sighed and banished thoughts of Ronald Weasley for now. So he didn't want her, fine! There were a lot of other men out there, but deep down in her heart Hermione knew that parts of his hurtful words were true.

* * *

A few hours later the tree of them, were standing at King's Cross station, greeting the others and chatting lightly about their summer. Always prudent to avoid sour themes, such as the death of their friends and other things, which were related with to hurtful memories.

"Hi, Luna, hi Neville!" she greeted the two before she was pulled into one of Mrs. Weasley`s bone-crushing hugs.

"Hermione my dear, how are you?"

"Uh...fine, Mrs. Weasley", she lied and forced herself to smile before she greeted the rest of them.

"Where is Harry?"

Neville grinned, but Luna answered without a hint of hesitation.

"Snogging Ginny over there," she pointed near one of the wagons. "But it's okay. _The pink-belled-long-snout-Grabs _think they match."

Neville shared a quick look with her, but like the rest of them he knew Luna well enough to just ignore comments like that.

"Sure, if you say so!" Hermione nodded and looked over at her best friend.

He and Ginny were both too occupied in kissing each other to register their arrival, but Hermione wasn't angry about it. She was truly happy for her best friend and wasn't about to interrupt the two in their private little moment.

Ron of course wasn't able to shut his mouth for once in a while. Barking a rude comment across the place, for everyone to hear, he wasn't only embarrassing Harry and his sister, but himself as well.

Clearly startled the lovers jerked away from each other. Harry was red enough to match the hair of his girlfriend and was glaring at Ron across the station. He didn't have to worry though, as Mrs. Weasley was giving her youngest son an earful.

Sighing Hermione shook her head.

"I see my brother is making an idiot out of him self -again!" Startled she turned around, only to find George Weasley standing beside her.

There was no twinkle in his eyes, no hidden mischief. He was standing there with a blank expression, hands in his pockets and looking like a shell of his former self.

Since the death of his twin, George hadn't been the same any more. It was, as if he had lost the will to live. He had thrown himself into work, barely leaving his shop and only attending to family functions for the sake of his mother.

Biting her lip, Hermione thought about the box in her bag, which she originally had packed for Harry. It was something she had made up herself. A sort of memory box, which didn't only show memories like a pensive, but also let the reviewer live through the feelings of the respective moment.

Hermione wasn't sure if he would like it, or if it would put salt into fresh wounds, but she was willing to try it.

"George?" she asked. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

He simply nodded and stepped to the side. Fumbling with the zipper on her bag, she finally found what she was searching for. A little hesitantly she handed him the little box.

"It's a memory box. In general it works like a pensive, but you are able to reveal emotions too. So you can not only see your first ride on a broom, or getting your letter for Hogwarts, but feel it too." For a second she wasn't sure if she should have mentioned his name. But to avoid to mention Fred was, as if she would disgrace his memory.

"I thought, maybe..." she faltered. "You know, it helped me with my mom and dad. Sometimes it hurts," she choked, but quickly put herself together. "But I thought you would like to...uhm...feel your twin again." Wincing inwardly she was about to clarify herself, but he stopped her.

"Thank you!"

For a second she could see his eye lit up, with the prospect of what she explained and she gave him a slight smile.

"You're welcome!" He nodded. "But George, please don't forget that there is more in life then just memories, will you? I'm sure Fred wouldn't like you to forget about it."

Before he got the chance to answer, she hugged him and turned quickly around, to get to the train.

"What was that about?"

Of course Ron had to choose this moment to be observant, for once in his life.

"Nothing."

"Didn't look like nothing!" he added as he entered the train beside her. "Is there something going on between you and my brother?"

Really, what was his problem? She hadn't heard from him in months. Not since the ball at the Ministry in honor of the victims of the war. Not one owl.

She didn't grace him with an answer, but obviously he wasn't waiting for one. "You know, it wouldn't be very tactful of you. He had just lost his twin and to put upon his vulne-"

"Ronald Weasley!" she snapped angrily before he could finish. "How dare you!"

"What, I only mean-"

"You know what? Forget it!" She huffed annoyed and stormed away, without giving him another glance. The nerve of that man!

She made her way through the train, searching for the others and cursing silently about the red headed idiot somewhere behind her.

She finally found the compartment where Ginny and Harry were sitting in. Unfortunately, they were still firmly locked on the lips.

"Peachy.." The curly haired with muttered. She wasn't about to spend the whole train ride watching her best friend snogging his girlfriend.

Gripping her bags tighter she made her way further through the train, looking for an empty compartment. She ignored the whispers and not so subtle pointed fingers in her direction, as best as she could. Obviously that was the price for saving the wizard world, if she liked it or not.

The forth compartment, she looked through wasn't empty, but made her sigh relieved none the less.

"Hi, Luna!" she greeted the blond girl again, after she opened the door. "Can I sit with you?"

"Of course!"

A few minutes later she had forgotten about Ron and was happily chatting with Luna. For someone who was living in her own world, most of the time, Luna was always an surprising talk partner. Her comments were intelligent, sharp-witted and her reasoning was often underlined with simply facts, which made Hermione wonder why she hadn't thought about it.

But after all there had to be a reason, why Luna Lovegood had been sorted into Ravenclaw.

It was an hour later or more, when the door to their compartment opened again and non other than the tall and pale figure of Draco Malfoy stood in the door frame.

He came to an abrupt halt, as his eyes landed on her and Hermione was preparing herself against the usual insults. But nothing ever came. Instead it seemed as if he was startled to see them here. For a second she even thought, she had seen a glint of fear in his eyes.

It quickly vanished and he was about to turn around, without a word, as Luna's voice piped up.

"Hello Draco! Do you want to sit with us?"

Hermione's head wasn't the only, which snapped around to the blond.

"Ah...uhm..." His silver eyes turned to her with a nervous glint and finally Hermione understood. He was nervous, because of what happened a few month ago in his Manor. She was surprised to notice that she didn't had any hard feelings towards him. At least not for what happened in his home. Hermione could vividly remember his face: Pale, harsh and with an expression that had made her wonder, if he was about to throw up.

At that moment he had been as much of a victim as she had been.

"Hello, Malfoy!" She acknowledged him.

"Hello Granger...Luna!" He nodded. It didn't get lost to her, that Malfoy used the given name of her friend.

Still a little hesitant Draco sat down beside the Ravenclaw, avoiding her eyes as much as possible. Hermione wasn't sure what to make out of a nervous, self-incurious Draco Malfoy, but she guessed the war had left his tracks on more than one person.

"How is your leg?" Again it was Luna who tried to make conversation and for a moment she was at a loss, what she could mean, but at Draco's mumbled _fine _she remembered that he had been wounded in the battle.

She wasn't sure why, but he had finally seen the error in his ways and had raised his wand against the other Death Eaters. The rumor had it, that he had saved the Patil twins from one of them and fought back to back with none other than Luna till the end.

"Did you use the ointment I send you?"

Hermione's ears picked up at that piece of information and she took a closer look at the two of them.

Luna looked carefree and dreamy as ever, but the usually unhealthy pale Malfoy had a fine rosy color on his cheeks.

_Was Draco bloody Malfoy blushing?_

No, it couldn't be! However, as he looked at Luna there was the strangest look in his eyes that Hermione had ever seen. She couldn't name it, cause she had never linked it with Malfoy.

"Yes, I did. It was very helpful. My mother sends you her gratitude, as well," he said a little bit stiffly but polite none the less.

"You're welcome, Dragon!" Luna smiled dreamily.

_Dragon? _

The remaining time to Hogwarts Hermione spent watching the two of them holding one of the most awkward conversations, she had ever seen. Luna was talking most of the time, mainly about things that didn't exist, or one of the latest articles in the _Quibbler, _while Draco was actually trying to answer her questions or formulate his opinion on some matters.

After a while they were so deep in conversation it seemed they had totally forgotten about her.

* * *

_She was standing at the closed front doors of Hogwarts. The beautiful melody hadn't stopped, in fact it appeared to be louder than ever. Obviously the source was within the castle. _

_Slowly Hermione stepped forwards and as if on a silent signal, the doors swung open, without a noise. _

_The inside of the castle was enveloped in darkness, like everything else around her. The bright lights from the lanterns, which normally greeted her when she stepped into the school, remained dark. _

_But other than in the forest, she wasn't afraid. Part of the reason was, that she knew her way around the castle, but other than that it was the music. _

_It seemed to pervade her completely. Calming her, easing her fears and filling her with the same longing, she could hear in the singers voice. _

_He -and by now she was sure that it was a male who was creating the melody -seemed to call her. Wanting her to find him and ease his pain. And she wanted nothing more, than to do exactly that. _

_Without any more hesitation she quickened her step, till she finally was running again. Not as headless and fast than before, but a steady rhythm that brought her nearer and nearer till she was standing in front of the great hall. _

_The door was closed and other as before, it didn't open on its own. So she put her hands on the rough wood of the door and pushed slightly. With an unnerving slowness it swung open and revealed a golden burning light. _

_It got brighter and brighter with every second like the music became higher and higher, till..._

"Granger!"

"Hu?" She mumbled not entirely awoake.

"Granger! Hurry up, or you have to walk to the castle!"

That did it. With a start she opened her eyes and looked closely into the silver orbs of Draco Malfoy.

Startled she jumped back.

"Sorry," he mumbled and hastily straighten up.

"It's okay." Yawning she looked around. "Where is Luna?"

"Said something about _Nargles_ and left a few minutes ago."

The Malfoy heir seemed at a loss and Hermione couldn't help but snicker.

"Okay...what are _Nargles_?"

"No idea!" Hermione laughed, but suddenly stopped as it sunk in what she was doing. She was standing beside Draco bloody Malfoy, laughing carefree and suddenly felt the surrealism of the situation.

Draco seemed to sense it too. "We should go." Without another word he reached for her bag, which she had put into one of the storage areas before. Not without much trouble, she remembered.

Other than the blonde it seemed.

He was just about to hand over her belongings as the compartment door flew open revealing Harry and Ron. Both had raised their wands and threatened to hex Draco, before she could react.

"'Put that down, Malfoy!" Ron snarled.

"Are you okay, Mione? Has he threatened you?"

"Harry!" She could see all three men wince at her tone. Obviously they all knew her long enough to recognize that voice. "Put your wands down, this instant! He was simply helping me with my bags."

"But Mione-"

"No, Harry I mean it. He was just being polite!"

"Polite? Malfoy? My ass!" Ron snapped, his wand still pointed at Draco.

"I'm sure you know nothing about it Weasley, but a man usually helps a lady with her belongings." Of course Malfoy had to put oil into the fire. Apparently not everything had changed.

"Why you little-"

"Ron!" She interrupted him sternly, not the slightest bit surprised by his angry flush and barely controlled temper.

"Are you defending him, Mione?"

"There is no need to defend him, Ron. He hasn't done anything, he simply helped me with-"

"He is a Death Eater!" Ron barked. "He doesn't even deserve to be here. He should rot in Azkaban where he belongs!"

"Ronald Weasley that is enough!" Her own temper rising she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Put your wand down. Both of you! Do you really think I would just stand here and do nothing, if he would have threatened me in any form?"

"Of course not!" Harry assured her quickly and lowered his wand, after another quick look in Malfoy's direction. But the blonde stood there with a blank expression watching her handle her two best friends.

"We just saw him through the window and assumed that...well...old habits die hard I guess. I was just worried, Mione."

That got a smile out of her, which quickly vanished at Ron's words.

"Are you barking mad? That is Draco bloody Malfoy we are talking about. Have you forgotten what the did to you? He tortured you for years, he has no right to even breathe the same air as others."

"No, I haven't forgotten the past years, but you've obviously forgotten that he has changed. He fought with us in the last battle. He was on our side!"

"He was just saving his sorry ass!" Ron snorted. "Are you really so stupid to believe that he will ever change? It's the ferret we are talking about!"

Harry winced and even Draco was taking a step back from her.

Both boys knew that you could call Hermione Granger a lot of things -silly, crazy, scary, boring -but there was a handful of words you should avoid like a plague.

_Stupid _was one of these words.

Her hair started to crackle with magic – a positive sign to better hold your breath. Of course Ronald Weasley was blind to the obvious.

* * *

Fifty-seven minutes later she was listening to the last words of Albus Dumbledore's welcome speech, while she was still ignoring Ron who could be lucky to have Harry rescue him before he got more than only a silent treatment.

He had dragged the idiot out of the train, before he would dig a deeper hole than he already had. And lately the hole was gaining depth.

"...and remember -a lot of things had happen and a lot of things have changed." She heard Dumbledore say and her eyes automatically swept over to the Slytherin table, which showed a lot of empty seats.

Some because they had decided against coming back to Hogwarts, and some because the missing student would never come back at all.

Sighing she looked at the student who sat at the end of the table, on its own. Hermione tried to remember, if she had ever seen Draco Malfoy -Prince of Slytherin- sitting alone.

She couldn't.

"...has shown that as long as we stick together we can make it through everything!" This time her eyes swept over her own table and asked herself if some of them would remember Dumbledore's words, now that the war was over.

She couldn't quite lift her eyes from the redhead in front of her, who didn't even try to appear as if he was listening. Instead he was grinning at Lavender Brown, who was openly leering at him across the table.

"...lost many. And before we start into a new year let us observe a minute of silence commemoration of those who have lost their lives due to the war."

Like everyone else in the room, Hermione followed Dumbledore's request. A few minutes later food appeared on the table and with it the feast begun.

Hermione wasn't very hungry so she just picked a few things and nipped at them while she continued to look around.

She looked at the Pavarti Patil, her beautiful face was now marked with a long scar across her cheek. But like a true Gryffindor she held her head up high and ignored the stares.

Hermione noticed Susan Bones and Ernie McMillan stubbornly leaving an empty seat between them, where once Megan Jones place would have been.

There was a bunch of Ravenclaws, who had gripped each others hands in what seemed their own form of commemoration for the fallen.

She saw likewise excited as frightened first years, who were looked after by some of the older students.

Luna who was reading her Quibbler, Draco Malfoy eating his meal in isolation, Harry and Ginny kissing without caring for food, Neville blushing as a first year asked him if it was true that he single-handed killed the Dark Lords pet, Hannah Abbot who looked like a shadow of her former self and Ron, who was flirting with Lavender by telling her one of his heroic deeds.

Indeed. A lot of things had changed.

TBC


	2. 2 September 13 October

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

Chapter 2:

_2 September – 13. October_

The first three weeks of school had been rather uneventful. That was if you asked someone other than Hermione Granger.

The most brilliant witch since Rowena Ravenclaw herself, wasn't called that, because she spent her time doing nothing.

And a few weeks into the new term she was already frustrated with the fact, that the day had only 24 hours. How could a witch possibly achieve perfect marks, when there wasn't enough time to do her work properly?

Hermione liked to be at least one month ahead of schedule, she had done that ever since she had started her first year. But this year it was more complicated since she tried her best to make up as much time for socialising as possible. At least one or two hours after dinner on Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays as well as Saturday afternoons which were spent with Remus and Teddy.

Today was Friday and once again, her friends had told her off. Harry wanted to spend his evening with Ginny, while the way Ron and Lavender where eating each others faces showed her that he wasn't interested either. At first she had been still too angry with Ron, to care much about the fact if he spent some time with her or not and she could understand that Harry and Ginny wanted some time together. She usually spent her free periods with Luna.

But now she felt a ping of sadness. None of them seemed overly interested in spending time with her. She had really hoped, that once they were back at Hogwarts, things would go back to normal. Like they have ever been. Obviously the others weren't interested in that.

"_Sorry Mione. I promised Ginny to spend the whole weekend with her. Maybe another time, yeah?"_

"_Sure Harry. No problem."_

"_Maybe Ron-" Harry interrupted himself after a quick look at his friend. He was snogging Lavender, making nauseating sounds, while doing so. "Maybe not," he corrected himself. "Sorry!" He shrugged his shoulder before he turned to Ginny again. _

And that was it.

She ate her meal in silence and was considering to ask Luna if she was up to something, or if she should finish her essay for History of Magic.

But before she could make up her mind, Professor McGonagall was standing beside her.

"Oh, Professor. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, Miss Granger. The headmaster wishes to speak to you. Please come to his office when you are finished with dinner."

"I am finished!" she assured her favourite professor quickly.

"Very well. Than follow me please!" Without waiting another minute she turned around and rushed away, like always. And for once Hermione was glad about it. It spared her to answer to the curious faces of her friends.

Quickly she gathered her things and followed McGonagall.

Five minutes later she was standing in front of the Gargoyle statues.

"Sugar quills!"

Hermione wasn't at all astonished to hear that the password was some sort of candy, but was surprised that it was so easy.

"There you go, Miss Granger!" And with a firm nod, the professor walked away. Hermione was a little bit taken aback that McGonagall wasn't accompanying her.

What could the headmaster possible want from her?

Finally she stood in front of the door to Dumbledore`s office, knocked and waited patiently. A few minutes later, there was still no answer.

Maybe he hadn't heard her?

She knocked again, but stepped in, after waiting another two minutes.

"Professor Dumbledore?" she asked hesitantly and stopped after a few steps into the room.

"Don't be a funk, Granger."

"Malfoy?" she asked stunned and looked around.

Sure enough, Draco Malfoy was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the headmasters desk. His white blond hair shone in the dim light like a halo, which made her frown because of how unfitting it seemed.

"What are you doing here?"

"The same as you, I guess: Waiting! Now sit down, will you?" His tone wasn't harsh just firm.

The two of them hadn't exchanged more than a handful of words since the incident on the train, but on every occasion he had been polite. He always tried to hold their conversation, as short as possible, but that was alright with her. She noticed that he had changed and on some fields was still doing his best to try. For someone who had been raised with so much prejudice, it couldn't be easy and she respected his effort greatly.

Still looking around, she was just about to follow his words, as she heard long high-pitched chirp. Well chirp wasn't the right word. It was a unique and heart-stopping trill.

She twirled around, till her eyes landed on the source of the sound: Fawkes.

The proud and beautiful Phoenix sat on his usual spot, in the middle of the room. Dumbledore`s pet was simply magnificent. Hermione had thought so before, the few times she had seen him from nearby. But today more than ever.

The feathers on his head surrounded him like a crown, which she found fitting for a creature such as precious as Fawkes. Every time he moved, his his red and gold feathering seemed to shimmer in a way, that let her hold her breath awe. Magic was indeed something wonderful and to look at Fawkes always seemed like watching a living incarnation of it.

Without realising it she smiled and drifted slowly towards him. Before she could reach him however, he pushed off fhis perch and her smile faltered.

Of course, why would he let her touch him? She thought sadly as she watched him glide gracefully through the room.

"Come on, Granger!" Draco's mocking voice sounded up behind her.

For a moment she had totally forgotten about Malfoy's presence and she cursed herself inwardly, for her thoughtless daydreaming. But unlike the old Malfoy who used every chance he got, to mock and taunt her with hurtful words, the new one simply sounded amused.

"Everyone knows, that Phoenixes are very selective about whom they allow to touch them."

"Wh-"

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Granger!" he snorted. "That was merely a fact, not an insult. Or have you already forgotten, what we've learned in forth year?"

She was about to answer, when Fawkes suddenly changed direction, circled her and with a trill that sounded like a mix of a scream and a laugh, landed on her shoulder.

Her face must have shown the same surprised and shocked expression as Malfoy's, but she couldn't be sure. However the shock, as well as the sudden weight on her shoulder, were quickly forgotten, as Fawkes started to sing.

Not a trill, a chirp or a sharp single sound. No. An entire song.

It was beautiful, heart-melting and likewise tear-stirring. Her cheek was brushing his plumage, it was soft and warm, which let her lean slightly more against it. This time, the Phoenix didn't seem to mind her touching him.

The song reminded her of her dream, but at the same time, was so much more than a dream could ever be. His song flowed through her like a soft breeze, made her skin tingle and did funny things to her mind.

Without wanting to, she closed her eyes and let the music take her over.

With her eyes shut, the music seemed even more intense and she was able to downright feel it. Every little nuance was making her shiver, lulling her deeper into the vision he was creating.

There was such a sad note into his song, that her heart went out for him.

So much hurt. So much sorrow and so much loneliness was filling the air that she couldn't hold back her tears.

She was long past the point where she just felt the pain of the singer. It was her pain. Her longing and her desire for salvation.

It was filling every pore of her and made her ache.

And then...then there was hope. A golden shimmer, covering her with warmth and confidence.

Everything would be fine.

A few minutes in absolute silence must have past, before she felt ready to open her eyes. Hermione felt dazed and for a moment she wasn't sure where she was.

That was till her eyes landed on Albus Dumbledore, who was standing beside Malfoy. Other than the blonde whose face was still converted in shock, the headmaster looked at her with an odd expression before he sent her a little smile.

"Ah, Miss Granger. A wonderful song wouldn't you say so?"

Dumbly she nodded. It was really the only thing she could do right now. While doing so, she realised that she was still leaning against Fawkes and tilted her head slightly back, so she could have a better look at him.

As if he sensed her intention, he turned towards her. His glistening black orbs were focused directly on her and Hermione was taken aback by the intensity in them.

Out of an impulse, she let the crook of her finger glide through his feathers on his neck and smiled, as he leant against her, as if he was asking for more.

He nipped affectionately on her finger and than with a flash he was gone. She stumbled slightly as he used her shoulder as base to push off.

A few minutes later she was sitting in a chair beside Draco, still a bit bewildered about everything that had happened.

Fawkes was sitting on his perch again, as if nothing ever happened. But the curious twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as well as Malfoy's penetrating silence told her a different story.

She didn't need the headmaster or someone else to tell her, that what just happened wasn't normal. Like Malfoy said before, Phoenixes were very selective about whom they allowed near them and even more about who was allowed to touch them.

But she had never heard about something quite like this. It wasn't the fact that he had allowed her to touch him or that he sung. More that he sat on her shoulder while doing so and...

She shivered at the thought.

It was as if he had sung his song just for her. As if to tell her a secret, a sad but beautiful little secret just between the two of them.

Hermione remembered what Harry had told her about his moments with Fawkes. The times in this office, as well as the night in the Chamber of Secrets. The Phoenix seemed to like Harry just fine, but he never told her anything like that.

Maybe it had been Fawkes` way to comfort her? Could Phoenixes sense it, when someone was in need of comfort?

She made a mental note, to look it up in the library.

"Miss Granger?"

"Hmm?" With a start she realized, who she was talking to. She blushed to the root of her hair and started stuttering an apology. "Sorry, sir. I guess I'm still a little overwhelmed about Fawkes` behaviour."

The headmaster nodded and smiled in understanding. "Yes, I remember the first time I heard him sing a song. It's not something one hear everyday and certainly nothing you'll ever forget."

"No, certainly not!" She agreed.

"As wonderful and interesting Fawkes may be, the reason I summoned you today is different."

Hermione sneaked a glance at Malfoy, who had been awkwardly quiet, the whole time and didn't look as if he was to change that now.

"I heard that you spend a lot of time with Teddy Lupin, Miss Granger?"

Frowning slightly, she nodded. "Yes. I live with them now."

That definitely caused Draco to straighten up in his seat.

"Yes, Remus told me about that, too. He speaks very highly of you and is very grateful for your help, especially where young Teddy is concerned."

Hermione wasn't sure what to make out of this. Dumbledore had the annoying little habit to straight out facts and then when you were confused about everything he would change the topic.

She hated to be confused.

"It's no big deal, actually. I like spending time with them and look after Teddy. We are looking out for each other, these days." Without knowing what possessed her to do it, she added: "Like a family."

Again she noticed, Malfoy shifting in his chair, but he remained silent.

"Yes. I'm sure we all know, how much comfort a family can offer."

Okay this time, she flinched along with Malfoy and she couldn't blame him. What was Dumbledore playing at?

"Both of you lost a lot in this war." Before either of them could find a way to express their thoughts on his words, he continued. "I didn't tell you this to taunt you, but to ask you a favour."

"A favour, sir?"

"Yes, Miss Granger."

After a few minutes, she wanted nothing more than to give in to the urge to ask him further. But if she had learned anything in the last seven years, concerning Dumbledore, it was to shut up and let him talk in his own speed. Even if it was killing her.

Instead she watched Draco out of the corner of her eyes. He appeared a little stiff and although his facial expression was bare of any emotions, he couldn't bluff her. Being enemies for years taught you more than efficient ways to rile each other up. After a while you got quiet good in reading each other. If you wanted it or not.

And at the moment he felt clearly uncomfortable.

Hermione had to admit that she didn't know much about his family situation. Mostly out of the newspaper and she had enough experience with reporters to know, that they loved to publish trash. So as likely as not, most of her information was rubbish.

The only things she definitely knew, was that his father had been killed in the battle. He had jumped in front of Draco to shield him with his body from the killing curse, one of the other Death Eaters had sent in his direction for betraying their Lord.

Lucius Malfoy may have been a cruel, prejudiced bastard, but he loved his son.

Narcissa Malfoy survived the battle. Because of the lie she told Voldemort, concerning Harry's death, she was still free and not in Azkaban. She was spending most of her time at Malfoy Manor these days and was only seen rarely in Digeron Alley or on social events.

Apparently _family _wasn't something, Draco Malfoy wanted to discuss, least of all with her and Dumbledore and for the first time, she was completely on his side.

She definitely didn't want to speak about her family, the war or any other hurtful topic, the headmaster may come up with.

"If the circumstances where different, the two of you would be head girl and head boy, as you certainly know yourself!"

Dumbledore's voice ripped her out of her thoughts.

Malfoy, head boy?

Okay he was second to her in most classes, but to become head your social behaviour count as much as your grates. And nobody in their right minds would call Malfoy's behaviour as exemplary. Specially after he tried to kill Dumbledore in his sixth year.

Whatever the circumstanced had been for him.

"The war had left us all with many scars and some of them will need a lot of time to heal. Some maybe never will. The wizard world is still recovering from everything what happened and I fear it will take a while, till our world is able to look over all the things, which must be taken care of."

Slowly but stead, Hermione was getting impatient. Why couldn't he get to the point?

"One of this things -and I fear, it's not very high on the governments list -are the orphans of the war."

"Sir?" She asked unsure, as he fell into another period of silence. "What exactly are you asking us to do?"

"Oh, that is quiet simple Miss Granger. I'm asking you to find a way to help those orphans."

Simple, alright!

"You-"

"I think we will manage!"

She nearly jumped in her seat, as Draco interrupted her in mid-sentence. It was the first time he had said anything since Dumbledore entered the room.

"What?"

"Oh come on, Granger. I thought you Gryffindors were not only known for your thoughtless bravery, but also for your ambition to help everyone. If they want it or not!"

Well that sounded more like the old Malfoy and oddly enough she started to laugh.

"Yeah, whatever you say!"

* * *

_Saturday: _

"Mi!" Teddy laughed happily, while his hair turned curly and a darker shade of brown. He was running towards her, as quick as his little feet were carrying him.

Willingly she sunk down to her knees, so he could wrap his arms around her neck and give her a slobbery kiss to her cheek.

"Me missed you !"

"I missed you too, honey!" The little boy never failed to cheer her up. Even after she spend the whole supper time, listening to Ron's adventures and how he helped to defend Voldemort.

It wasn't a lie, he did help to defend that megalomaniac hypocrite, but the way he told the story it sounded as if single handed killed every Death Eater with an easy move of his wand.

Why couldn't he stuck with the truth?

Well for one, it wasn't as dramatic, as he let it sound or at least less heroic.

"What did he do this time?"

"Who?" She asked and looked up to see Remus coming out of the bedroom.

"You know who!"

Of course she knew, who he was talking about. "Later!" She assured him and pressed a sounding kiss on Teddy's chubby cheek.

"Want to see my new toy?"

Two and a half hours later, after playing with Teddy's new toys, four exhausting rounds of hide and seek and a very long fairy tale, Hermione managed to put him into his bed for a little nap.

With a sigh she sunk in a seat beside Remus, who was grinning brightly while he poured her a cup of tea.

"Thank you!"

Remus laughed openly about her weary expression.

"Oh wait till it's your time again, to tell him a tale."

Teddy had a knack, to question everything the persons in the fairy tales did. _Why_ was his favourite word. Harry and Remus used to tease her, when she brought it up. Both loved to remind her of her own need to question everything.

In short they thought it served her right!

"He loves the tales you tell him. Every time I try it, he keeps telling me how you would imitate the characters and I got it all wrong!" He laughed softly and she couldn't help but blush.

"So how are you doing?" He asked gently after a few minutes of comfortable silence and enjoying a good cup of English tea.

"I'm fine!" She replied automatically. It was her standard answer to that question and usually people were not interested to hear more than that. It was a set phrase nothing more.

Hermione winced though, as Remus amber eyes focused on her and she could feel her traitorous cheeks heat up a little.

Remus wouldn't be satisfied with that answer. He knew her quiet well and was interested into the truth, so guiltily she gave in.

Remus was more than a little interested, about her yesterday activities, so she told him. Even the part where Fawkes had sung for her. To say that he was interested in that piece of information, would be an understatement and for a moment she wondered if she should tell him about her dream.

This night she had dreamt again, about the door with the golden light behind it. When the door swung open, the light was bright but not so much that she couldn't see Fawkes flying threw it.

Like in Dumbledore's office he was singing that beautiful song of his, but instead of sitting down on her shoulder he flew past her.

Finally, she decided against it. It was just a silly dream and she was sure she would have one or two more about Fawkes in the future. It wasn't every day a Phoenix sings for you, so it was only natural to dream about it afterwards.

For now, she ignored the fact, that her dream started before she met Fawkes yesterday.

"And what about Ron?"

Ripped out of her thoughts she shrugged her shoulders.

_And what about Ron? _

Good question. One she asked herself every day and was still not able, to come to a satisfying answer beside, that these days Malfoy acted less like an asshole than the redhead.

She snorted unladylike as she told him about his latest heroic deed.

"Maybe he should tell Teddy his fairy tales, he is really good in creating them!" Hermione suggested with a bitter tone. "I swear to you, if I have to hear about _his_ master plan about breaking into Gringott´s and _his _spectacular escape on the dragons back, one more time I will go mad."

"That bad?"

She nodded. Yeah that bad, but when she had learned one thing in the past, then that it could always get worse.

One way or the other.

* * *

_Two weeks later: _

_There it was again. She knew that scenario already. Once more she was standing in front of the heavy wooden door, which led to the great hall. _

_Nothing had changed since the last time she had visited this place in her dream. _

_It was still dark, cold and the golden light was flickering threw the splitting of the door. Although she had experienced this scenario quiet a few times by now, she never knew what would happen next. _

_There was always the bright light, when the door swung open. Sometimes so harsh she had to close her eyes. On some nights it was Fawkes who would glided towards her and on others the light would fade and envelope her with darkness. Or she would simply wake up, before anything could happen. _

_Every time though, she heard the music and she started to crave for these strange dreams simply to hear it once more. _

_Hermione still couldn't describe the dimension, of how it was affecting her but it did. In a good way she thought. _

_She wasn't addicted to it or couldn't wrap her mind about anything else, it just had found its way into her system and she guessed it wouldn't leave her so quickly. _

_The rest of the dream though, was starting to get on her nerves. _

_So this time she was standing rather impatiently in front of the door, waiting for it to swung open already. _

_She tried to concentrate on the music, but the flickering light behind the wood was teasing her. Every moment it would surround her, even if it was for just a tiny moment and then it would be over. Again. _

_For some people, dreams had a deeper meaning. For her it was just a way to handle the events of the day or things which were affecting her. What was angering her though, was that she couldn't catch what it was, that kept her mind so busy that she had to dream of it again and again. _

_Now she could watch the door slowly opening. Her arm twitched in an attempt to cover her eyes. And she did only seconds later. This time the light was brighter than normal. So bright indeed, that she needed a few minutes to adapt her eyes anew after it died down._

_Blinking she tried to look around. _

_There was no Phoenix, which gliding through the air and it wasn't dark either. As a matter of fact she was confronted with an entire different situation. _

_Dumbfounded she looked at the bunch of dancing people in festival robes. The great hall was decorated much like the time during her forth year for the Yule ball. _

_The enchanted roof showed a beautiful night sky. The stars were shining brightly reflecting themselves in the breathtaking amount of crystal in the hall._

_Other as in her forth year, where Dumbledore had turned the hall into a beautiful winter wonder land, the décor was in rich autumn colours. _

_It seemed fitting as she admired the fancy and surely expensive robes. There was no colour she couldn't make out, though blue, red, violet and green seemed to be the favourite ones. _

_It was a Masquerade ball and as she watched the dancing crowed, she could feel her lips turn into a smile as she recognised some of the costumes._

_There were historical personalities such as kings and famous heroes. She could make out tragic legends from Greek mythology, as well as characters from fairy tales. _

_She sighed as she remembered that she was only wearing jeans and and a lousy fitting t-shirt. Hermione had never been one for fashion, but she didn't want to enter the room dressed like she was. It seemed wrong. _

_Had she been in the possession of her wand, she would have transfigured her clothes in something more fitting. But that was no option, so she would just stand here and watch. _

_The moment she thought that, she could feel a ripple of magic wash over her and as she looked down her form she gasped. _

_Her muggle clothes had transformed into a breathtaking gold and green robe, which corset was glittering as if it was covered with diamonds. It possessed a snug fit, and even without a mirror Hermione could tell, that the neckline was deeper than she was used to. _

_Her arms were bare, but covered with a gold glittering powder, which got along nicely with the rest of her dress. _

_She couldn't be sure about her hair or her mask, which was now covering the upper half of her face, but from what her fingers could make out it had to be okay. _

_Taking a deep breath she was about to step into the hall, but something was keeping he from doing so. It took her a moment to notice what it was. _

_Then it hit her. There was no music. Well there was music, but it was the rhythm of an old and slow waltz not the magnificent sound she was used to. _

_If she thought about it now, it stopped the moment the door swung open, but she had been too stunned by the scene in front of her to notice. _

_That had never happened before. Whatever had happened, there was always the heart-melting sound filling the air. It was the first and the last thing she would register about this dream. _

_Not this time, it seemed. _

_Whatever the reason was, she was over the ever-repeating scenario of the opening door. However it was sad, that the music had to vanish as well. Now it was nothing more than a soft memory in the back of her mind. _

_She sighed and sifted through her options. Not that she had many. Stand here and watch or enter the room and find out would happen. _

_Bringing herself to wake up, would have been option number three, but she had tested it often enough to know that it wouldn't happen just because she wanted it. _

_Finally she realised that moving was the only reasonable possibility and more than that she wanted it. She was dressed in this beautiful dress and she was curious to see more. _

_So after another deep breath, to calm herself down she stepped into the room and..._

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Granger!" Malfoy's annoyed voice could be heard in front of her door.

"What in Merlin's name...?" she muttered groggily and tried to fight her way out of her blankets.

"Granger! I haven't all day! So if you don't move your butt to this door and let me in, you can do the work all by yourself."

Malfoy again, though this time he sounded more whiny than angry.

With a quick look at her alarm clock, she noticed that she had slept over. Luckily for her it was a Sunday -unfortunately that meant she had to deal with Draco.

Normally she didn't mind. They had met a few times in the past two weeks, to work on their _project _and oddly enough, they worked well together.

Draco _did_ try to change, though he really had to work on his consuming personality. He was used to that things were always done the way _he_ wanted it, _when_ he wanted it.

"Coming," she finally yelled back and stumbled towards the door to open it.

"What took you so long?" The blond boy snapped and marched in, without looking in her direction at first. As no answer came he looked over his shoulder.

"Merlin, Granger you look like hell. Ever heard of a brush?" he mocked her in an good imitation of his old self. A few weeks before she might have been hurt and kicked him out of her room, but even after the short while they had spent together she knew better than that.

She could see the amusement in his silver eyes, so she only muttered something unintelligible about stupid ferrets and showers and made her way to the bathroom.

Draco obviously knew better, than to bother her further, before she was out of the bath and didn't say anything more.

Odd how things turned out.

* * *

„I really hope, you know what you are doing, my old friend!" the old wizard sighed.

The only answer he got was an irritated glance.

"Of course you know, what I mean is if you are aware of the consequences? Not only for you but for her as well?"

Again there was no answer, but sometimes silence said more than words ever could. So Albus Dumbledore only nodded and sighed again.

"Very well, than. Don't doubt that I'm happy for you, but you should not forget what put you into the place you are momentarily in. I hope you've learned from your former doings."

This time, the other made a sound that suspiciously sounded like a huff, which only made the headmaster smile.

"You know, you shouldn't underestimate her. She is not very fond of predestination and fate. You will have to make an effort to win her over."

This time his old friend sounded offend at his well-intended warning, which only caused him to chuckle.

Ah, things would get truly interesting, and Albus didn't intended to miss one bit.

TBC

* * *

A/N:

preciousteddybear: Thank you so much for your review. I really hope I can live up the expectations and provide you with a refresher, furthermore.^^


	3. 14 October 30 October

Disclaimer: Look Chapter one

* * *

Chapter 3:

_14. October – 30. October _

It was the middle of October, a Wednesday and by now Hermione didn't bother herself to talk to her friends apart from greetings or unimportant stuff.

She had tried a few times more to spend some private time with them, but they were always too busy snogging their girlfriends, playing Quidditch or going on double dates in Hogsmeade.

It did hurt to be pushed aside like yesterday´s trash, but she still had hope that they would eventually come around. At least Harry.

For now she tried to be contend with reading a book at meal times and ignore the fact that she was ignored.

Supper time today was no difference, beside that she heard something that made her focus turn from the Potions book to the small talk around her.

Normally she wasn't interested in gossip, especially when Lavender Brown was the one reading it. She was nearly as bad as Rita Skeeter and that meant something, coming from her mouth.

"Can you believe it? Zabini asked her to the ball and she said yes."

From Lavender´s affronted voice, one could believe that the Italian boy had pronounced a death threat and not an invitation to the Halloween ball.

"She said yes, to a Slytherin?" a seventh year girl named Anna asked.

"Well, he does look good," another girl piped in but was silenced with angry glares.

"I guess he is okay looking," Lavender presumed haughtily. "But, really! I had expected more from Parvarti! I mean a sneak -how disgusting is that? You should mean, she had more pride, than that."

Hermione frowned behind her back. Lavender and Parvarti used to be best friends. From the way it sounded that had changed, too.

After a quick look over the table, she noticed that the dark skinned beauty wasn't in her usual spot. In fact she wasn't at the table at all.

"On the other hand, with a scar like that, it would not be easy to get a date. Maybe she just panicked, you know," Lavender continued.

Hermione could feel the blood rushing into her face as she listened to Lavenders insults.

How dare she to say something like that! At least Parvarti was brave enough to fight for her believes and not hide in fear, like some stupid blond bimbo.

She waited a moment to see if there would be someone to speak in Parvarti's defence, but also a great deal of people listened nobody said a word.

"And what is wrong with Parvarti going to the ball with Zabini?" she asked with a calm voice, although she knew the answer already.

As if the Dark Lord himself had just made a quick step on the table, her house mates fell into silence.

"He is a Slytherin!" It was Ron, who finally broke the silence and sounded as disgusted about the fact, as Lavender before.

"And?"

"And?" Ron snapped as if she had just asked the silliest question. As far as she knew Ron, it probably was for him. "He is a Death Eater, Mione! Parvarti should know better than to fraternise with the enemy."

"Fraternise with the enemy?" the curly haired witch snapped back and stared him into the eyes. "In case you haven't notice, the war is over Ronald." She wasn't sure where her next words came from, but before she realised they were over her lips. "I know you have been unconscious for the most part of the final battle, but by now even you should know that."

She could hear a couple of gasps and whispers on the table, but Hermione ignored them as well as the fact that Ron was turning crimson.

" And you know as well as everybody else, that Zabini was spying for Dumbledore and has never been a Death Eater."

"Oh, please, Mione he was just trying to save his sorry ass."

"You mean like you,when you left Harry and me?" she asked in a bitter tone and watched as his face turned the colour of his hair.

That squashed everyone on table instantly. She wasn't surprised that he had forgotten to tell the others about that little detail, during his story times.

"How dare you, you stu-" Lavender's shrill voice finally broke the silence, but she interrupted her before she could finish.

"How dare I? How dare you, you stupid little hussy!" That forced a squeak out of her, but Hermione continued before she could say anything. "Parvarti used to be your best friend and other than you she fought for our side. She didn't hide like a coward! So how dare you to insult her? She can be proud of her scar, it shows her bravery but then again, that's another thing you know nothing about, right? And if Zabini asked her to the ball, I'm sure he did it cause he liked her and you are just a jealous cow. Not so long ago, you couldn't stop telling anybody how _hot _you found him and would do anything for him to notice you," Hermione spat with venom.

By now, it seemed the whole student body listened in silence to her little fury break out and only now she noticed that she had jumped up. She was half leaning over the table and glaring daggers at Lavender, who looked a little pale around her nose as she watched her with big frighted eyes.

"I think that is enough now." It was Harry's calm voice, which broke the silence for the third time and her head wiped around instantly.

He was looking at her with sad green eyes and she knew, he wished she had remained silent. His disappointment hurt more than she liked to admit, but maybe it wasn't so unexpected as one might think.

"Enough, allright," she snorted. "You of all people should know about scars, Harry. Yet you sit here and say nothing, while they talk like that about Parvarti."

There was a flicker in his eyes, that told her that he knew that she war right, but he said nothing. Maybe it was better that way.

She led her eyes glide over her the students and shook her head. Most people were staring at her with open mouths, some were whispering already about her embarrassing act, while some others looked thoughtful.

She tried to blend out Lavender, who obviously had gotten over her fear and draped herself all over Ron. Telling him that he was her hero, regardless of what _that frigid bitch _said.

How could someone be frigid and a bitch at the same time?

She was about to risk a quick look at the staff table, as she could hear clapping.

Irritated she looked around, till she could see a platinum blond boy standing up with a bright grin and clapping hands.

Of course, Malfoy! He had to make the whole thing even more embarrassing.

But from one minute to the other there was more clapping.

Padma Patil was clapping too and sending her a thankful glance over the hall for defending her twin in her place.

Next was Zabini. He wasn't clapping, but he rose from his seat and acknowledged her with a firm nod, to show that he was on her side. Luna was clapping, too. Even more enthusiastically than anybody else and it nearly made her smile.

After that there were a few more, even from the staff table and this time she did smile inwardly.

So that was her outcome.

Half of the staff table, though the half which was still sitting had encouraging smiles on their faces.

Three Slytherins -who would have seen that day!

Five Rawenclaws.

Eight Hufflepuffs and two Gryffindors.

Neville -ever loyal Neville -was smiling at her. Though the second person was quite a surprise: Ginny Weasley. Like Blaise she wasn't clapping, she didn't even smile or nod in her direction, although that had more to do with fact that she was arguing with her brother. Ron had manage to tear himself away form Lavender for a moment and tried to push his sister down beside him.

But Ginny would have none of it. She remained standing.

Hermione wanted to cry. She wasn't sure if it was because of Ginny's loyalty, or the fact that Harry was avoiding her eyes.

With another look around the hall, she turned around and left.

The moment she was out of the hall, she started to run. All she wanted to do, was hide and cry. She didn't care that she was acting cowardly now.

Now that Voldemort was gone, things should be better. She should be able to enjoy her time with her friends and finish her education without the fear of someone trying to kill them.

But somehow everything had turned out wrong.

These days, there were more Syltherins than Gryffindors supporting her and her two so called best friends were none of them.

As soon as she had reached her room, she threw her self onto her bed and gave into her urge to cry.

A girl was allowed to wallow in self pity once in a while.

* * *

The next week was dreadful. Hermione wasn't quite sure what was the worst. Harry who was avoiding her eyes, the pitiful looks of the others, Ron who was imitating her in class and tried to be as hurtful as possible or -or the fact that Draco Malfoy seemed to be her best friend theses days.

Well, sort of. The word _friend _was maybe a little bit over stretching for what they were. She couldn't come up with a definition that sounded nearly good enough, but maybe the name didn't matter.

Fact was they did get along with each other.

The last week they had started to spend their evenings together studying. Mostly they used one of their rooms, to avoid the curious glances they would get in the library or any other place.

She had already enough with things being as they were and she wasn't anxious to put oil into the fire.

There was one other thing that made her head hurt. It seemed she had a little fan group of boys from fifths year, who had got it into their heads to take her to the Halloween ball. In their twisted mind she was their heroine.

_She escaped from Gringott's on the back of a dragon, how cool is that?_

_I heard she can do wandless magic..._

_She dated Victor Krum, he is the best seeker ever! _

To be honest -she could live with the three disillusioned Hufflepuffs. What made her worry were the the two Syltherins, from Ginny's year.

Their odd behaviour since the beginning of the school should have warned her. They had greeted her every time they passed her in the hallway. Odd!

And now they had obviously decided to get on with it.

But Slytherins would be Slytherins and other as the harmless Hufflepuffs, their way of asking didn't let much room for objection. And obviously it didn't matter how old they were, apparently they were born with the ability to ignore a no, when they heard one.

She would have laughed, if she wasn't so busy with hiding from the more persistent of the two.

"Care to explain, what you are doing?" a voice sounded up behind her.

With a shriek she turned around and stared directly in the face of none other than Draco Malfoy. As always, he was grinning at her with a smugness that usually made her want to choke him.

"What does it look like?" she snapped. "Hiding."

"And what would a war heroine like you be hiding from?" She shot him a death glare, which he outright ignored. "A couple of Hufflepuffs?" he snickered. Apparently he had heard about that.

"Haven't you been the one, who preached about bravery a couple of days ago?"

"Very funny!"

"It's a gift."

"Git!" she muttered. "And only for your information, I'm not hiding from some Hufflepuff." All the while she was sneaking suspicious glances around the corner.

"Who are you hiding from then?"

"Blake Campell," she mumbled.

She should have kept quiet. From one moment to the other, he threw his head back and laughed. Startled she realised, that she had never heard him laugh before. At least no real laugh. But her astonishment vanished quickly, as she noticed a flash of black hair down the hallway.

"Oh, no!" Groaning she leant against the wall. "Really what could a Slytherin want from _me_, of all people? And don't tell me this war heroine crap," Hermione muttered.

"Really, Granger!" Malfoy snorted. "You are powerful, famous, pretty and a challenge. That's more than enough to raise the interest of most men."

Hermione stared at him, as if he had just confessed his undying love for her, but before she could screech out a _what? _Campell rounded the corner.

"Mya, there you are!" She swirled around. "Trying to play hard to get?" He smirked and she was tempted to punch Malfoy behind her. Even without looking at him, she could tell that he was laughing his ass off -inwardly of course!

"I'm not playing anything, Campell," she snapped and tried to glare at him, a diffecult task since he was so much taller than her.

"Blake," he repeated.

"Listen, here Cam-"

"Blake. Better get used to it now. I wanted to talk to you about our costumes for-"

"_Our _costumes?"

"It's nice to make them match, don't you think?"

"I'm not going to the ball with you!" she insisted.

"Why not?"

_Why not? Why not? _He hadn't even asked her, he just assumed she would giggle like a stupid airhead and faint to his feet with a happy _yes_ on her lips. It was always the same with the attractive ones. They all thought they were Merlin's gift to the witches.

"Because she's going with me."

Suddenly she could feel Draco's arm around her waist, not pulling her against him, but clearly sending a message to his house mate. It sufficed, at least for her. Her eyes must be as large as saucers, but Hermione was not stupid enough to pass her opportunity to get out of this. So she nodded.

"Malfoy!" Blake's voice was icy as he acknowledged the blonde. He must have seen him before, she realised but didn't even spare him a side glance.

Odd, she thought. Not so long before, no Slytherin would have dared to be anything but respectful towards the _Prince of Slytherin. _

Only one thing among so many others in the _some things change _scenario, she momentarily lived in.

"Campell," Draco nodded in return.

"We will talk another time, Hermione," Blake smiled in her direction.

And with that he was gone.

With an undefinable sound, she let her head drop against the wall behind her. "Why me?" She muttered and closed her eyes.

"Come on, Granger. We have not all day. You can wail in self pity another time!"

"Easy for you to tell. You are not the one who is hunted by a bunch of crazy Slytherins."

"Don't be such a drama queen," he snorted and snatched her wrist. "Let's go!" And with that he pulled her behind him. They were nearly down the hallway, when Hermione finally realised what he was doing.

"Hey! Stop. Where are you taking me?"

Her effort to loosen his grip were ignored and he simply walked along. "Shopping."

From all answers he could have given her, that was not one she expected. "Shopping?"

"Yes. Or do you have a costume already?"

"No. What? A costume? But I-" She stuttered.

"Thought so. Now stop struggling."

* * *

Half an hour later they were walking through Hogsmeade. Hermione wasn't sure where he was heading to, but it was obviously not one of the usual shops.

As they reached it however, she knew why it was unfamiliar to her and blanched. Most of the students simply hadn't enough money to buy an ordinary scarf here.

Not that they would sell anything ordinary.

Of course she had heard from the _Magnificent_, but she had also heard of the Vatican library, which didn't mean, that she would ever set a foot in it.

"Malfoy have you lost your mind? I can't afford to buy anything here," she hissed and struggled harder against his grip.

"Don't worry about unimportant things. It attest bad manners to speak about money. So now stop complaining and act like a normal girl would do!" He told her haughtily, but she could plainly she the amused smile on his lips.

"Unimportant things?" She snapped as he pushed her into the shop, furthermore ignoring her attempts to break free.

Before she could say anything else, as an older witch in a perfectly fitting blue robe approached them.

"Good day Madam," she greeted her. Hermione could feel her grey eyes wandering quickly over her form. She didn't need to show her disapproval of her appearance to let her know that she was not welcome.

However, the moment her eyes fell on Draco, her expression changed instantly. The grim line, which formed her lips transformed into a pleasant smile.

"Mister Malfoy!" she exclaimed. "How good to see you again. What can I do for you?"

"My date and I need costumes for the Halloween ball." Although his tone was polite, the undeniable threat was clear.

"Of course," the witch assured quickly and sent a smile her way.

Hermione snorted inwardly. Whatever influence the Malfoys may have lost after the war, it was enough left to intimidate the woman in front of them.

Or better, it was enough money left.

An eternity later it seemed Hermione had tried on every costume this shop possessed. Malfoy was the worst shopping partner she had ever had. The shop assistant couldn't find a dress he didn't find a fault with.

Wrong colour. Wrong cut.

Too flashy. Too modest. Too everything.

"Malfoy, I swear to you, if I-"

"Yes, yes, yes Granger. I know." He put her threat aside. "Next!" He ordered the poor woman. Her dislike for the older witch had vanished quickly, after Malfoy started calling out orders. All the while he was sitting in a comfortable looking chair.

Like a little tyrant on his throne.

Mumbling undefinable things under her breath she tried to ignore her rumbling tummy. Never had she thought that shopping could be that exhausting. Slowly her traitorous mind was telling her that going to the ball with Campell wouldn't be so bad. At least she wouldn't be stuck in here.

"Here try that on, honey."

She had closed her eyes and was tempted to ignore her, but finally her good manners won over. She opened them and...

For a moment she nearly forgot to breath. There in the outstretched hand of the older woman in front of her was _it_.

A dress.

But it wasn't just any dress. It was the dress from her dream. The one she had been wearing when she was wandering through the dancing crowd in her.

_Again she was stuck in a part of her dream. Night for night, she would do nothing else than watch other witches and wizards dance around her. She would admire their costumes or stare at herself in one of the giant mirrors. _

_She was a fairy. _

_Her dress clung to her curves perfectly and the small stones on her corset sparkled with every move. The parts of her skin, which weren't covered with cloth, shimmered golden and let her hold her breath in awe. Her hair was styled the way of ancient Greece and seemed to remain in place by sheer luck. That -more than anything else made it clear that it couldn't be reality. In real life, her hair would never stuck in place so easily or shine like that. _

_The light golden masked, which covered half of her face, was beset with diamonds and Hermione know for sure that she had never looked that beautiful in her life. Or ever would that is -outside of a dream. _

_But the most breathtaking thing about her costume, were the enchanted golden wings on her back, which fluttered lightly in the air._

"Granger!"

Draco's impatient voice ripped her out of her thoughts.

"Hu?" she asked bewildered, all the while starring at the breathtaking dress.

"I said, if your are really so unwilling to put it on, you-"

"No!" she interrupted him hastily. The word came out louder, then she indented and Hermione tried to cover it with a quick smile.

"It's perfect. I love it!"

And for once in her life she didn't mind to act girly. She was smiling like a manic, when they left the shop half an hour later. Of course Malfoy had found his costume ten thousand times quicker than she, but she didn't even comment at how unfair that was.

It simply didn't matter at the moment.

"Granger," Malfoy hissed. "If you don't lower that smile of yours, I will you hold responsible for anything they will do to me!"

"Hu, what?" she snapped out of her memories.

"They think I've _Imperioed _you."

Only now Hermione noticed the people staring at the two of them. They were back in the better visited area of Hogsmeade and she hadn't even thought about the fact, that Draco's and her appearance could raise some trouble.

Rolling her eyes at the noisy crowd, she suggested that they should better return to school.

"Embarrassed to be seen with me, Granger?" he joked.

"Don't be ridiculous. I can be friends with whoever I like."

The moment it was out of her mouth, she flinched slightly. It wasn't very hard to notice Malfoy stiffen beside her for a second before he returned to his normal uncaring self.

"Friends?"

It was hard to interpret the tone of his voice and Hermione was tempted to declare it as a fault, but only for a second.

"Yes, Mal-Draco. Friends. That's if you want that."

He was silent for so long that they nearly have managed half of their way before he finally spoke again.

"Maybe I want that, Hermione."

Grinning they walked back to school.

* * *

_Of course she would dream about her costume again. She wasn't really surprised by that. What surprised her though, was that it wasn't the usual scenario she was used to these days. _

_The people around her were still the same. They were dancing, laughing and chatting happily with each other, but something was different. _

_It took a a moment to realize what it was and then it clicked. _

_They were seeing her!_

_For a moment her discovery shocked her into stupor. Literally._

_Till that moment, she never realized that the others hadn't seen her. She just assumed that nobody was paying her attention. It was dream after all._

_But now there was no denying that everybody was staring at her. Slowly the people stopped dancing. The noises went down -even the music vanished, till finally an awkward silence filled the great hall. _

_Still frozen on the spot, Hermione looked around. _

_Everyone was staring at her with an odd expression, she couldn't quite describe. Her cheeks were growing hotter with every second. She hated to be in the spotlight. _

_To make everything worse, some of them were pointing with their finger in her direction. Mortified she closed her eyes and wished the floor would rip open and swallow her. _

_The last few days, nothing like this had happen, why had it to turn from nice to worse now? _

_She wasn't sure how much time had past, it was hard to tell, but suddenly she could hear someone calling her name. It was a soft, melodic sound. At first it was barely more than a whisper and she wasn't sure if it wasn't only a hallucination but then the voice got louder. Whoever was calling was getting nearer. _

_Still, she wouldn't open her eyes. _

_He -she was sure that it was a he -was calling her name again and she wished, he would say it more often. Her name had never sound better, it was nearly like music. A soft, melodic ring that send shivers down her spine. _

"_Hermione!" _

"_Hermione!"_

"_Hermione!" Suddenly something changed. The voice wasn't melodic any longer. It had a whiny overtone that made her frown. Somehow it was familiar. _

"_Hermione!" The voice was definitely wrong. _

_She wanted the beautiful one back. _

"_Hermione!" Wincing, she took a step back. Apparently that wasn't working. Her eyes were still closed and for a reason she couldn't quite grasped, she didn't want to open them. But some invisible force was trying to rip them open, as soon as she thought that. _

_She fought it. She wasn't practically fond of this dream so far, but she liked the voice. It reminded her of the music she was used to hear in her dreams. _

"_Hermione!"_

_Crap! It was harder then she thought. _

"_HERMIONE!" This time, it was a bark and from one moment to the other she couldn't fight it any longer. Her eyes snapped open..._

A strange feeling of deja vu came over her, as she nearly fell out of her bed.

"Malfoy," Hermione muttered.

"Hermione Granger!"

Rolling her eyes she got up. "Coming, Malfoy," she barked back.

He really needed to work on his temper.

* * *

It was a Thursday and the Halloween ball would be in two days from now. Nearly two months had passed since the beginning of the school year and with every day, Hermione could see the changes that had come with it.

Sitting at the breakfast table was maybe one of the times you could actually see and feel it. For the first time in many years Hermione was alone.

Not in the physical sense. She was still sitting in the same seat as ever, but although Ginny, Neville and Parvarti made an effort to made her feel welcome, it didn't work.

The was no more chatter, laugh or even serious talk between them. There was nothing.

It wasn't that she was a pariah. She had done too much in the war to be simply ignored by most people, but sometimes she thought, ignorance would be lighter to bear then Ron's insults or Harry's effort to avoid to look at her.

She snorted at her own bipolar thoughts. Well at least, if everyone ignored her, Harry's attitude wouldn't hurt that much. Though she was still asking herself, what she had done to earn that treatment from her former best friend.

Ron had never been one to think before he acted and the few things she had thrown at him, had probably been enough, to raise his hilarious temper. But Harry...

The most logical reason was possible his friendship with Ron. After all he had always chosen the redhead over her. So she shouldn't be surprised.

Unfortunately it didn't hurt any less thereby.

So she was somewhat surprised this morning. Owls were filling the great hall, like every other morning during the school year and Hermione wasn't really paying attention to them.

Who would owl her after all?

She was just about to drink some pumpkin juice, as a beautiful red-brown owl landed in front of her and eyed her out of its big yellow globes.

"Hallo there," Hermione cooed. "Have you got something for me?" she asked curiously.

"Don't flatter yourself! That's for me." She was so shocked for a moment at Ron's rude comment, that she froze in her seat. Of course he was busy making her life miserable these days, but normally he avoided to speak directly at her.

"Ron!" Ginny snapped at her brother, clearly as shocked as she herself.

"That's George´s owl, what would he want from _her,_" Ron snapped, while Lavender giggled happily.

She wanted to hex him so badly that moment, but the owl beat her to it. She bit Ron, who was trying to get to the letter at its legs, without hesitation. And with gusto as it seemed.

"Ouch! Stupid bird," he yelled.

"Serves you right," she muttered and took the letter. This time nobody tried to stop her. Ron was still whining over his bleeding finger and Lavender tried her best to make it worse.

Rolling her eyes she decided it would be the best to read the letter somewhere else.

"Here," She offered the pretty bird a piece of bacon, which he happily scarfed down. And with a satisfied hoot he left.

As did she.

* * *

Ten minutes later, she was back in her room and made herself comfortable on the bed, before she opened the envelope.

_**Dear Hermione, **_

_**at first let me tell you that I'm sorry, that it took me so long to write to you. To be honest, the moment I figured out what you gave me, I wanted to curse you. **_

Oh...She had just wanted to comfort him. Obviously it had been a bad idea to give the memory box to him.

_**Please don't be upset with yourself! I know you just wanted to help me and you did. I just needed a little bit more time to realize that. **_

_**At first it was to hard...I think you know what I mean. **_

Yes, she knew. After the death of her parents it was hard just thinking about them. Later, when she had tried her memory box for the first time, it nearly broke her heart. It was just too much at once. It had cost her a few more tries to finally cherish it. Today -nearly two years later it still hurt, but the memories and emotions helped her to remember the good times she had had and always put a little smile on her face.

She had hoped it would be the same for George.

_**Today I can't say it didn't hurt, but I'm likewise happy to have the possibility to 'feel' my memories again. And I'm grateful that you allowed me this chance. **_

_**All the others just try to avoid saying his name in my presence. They think it would hurt me too much, but in doing so, it is as if they were trying to ignore that he ever lived. **_

_**You're the first person who spoke his name in over a year and you're the only one who want me to remember him. **_

_**And I thank you for that. **_

By now she had tears in her eyes. Although she could understand the uneasiness of other people speaking about Fred in front of George it hurt her to know how much it hurt him. Blinking away the tears, she forced herself to read ahead before she would lose herself in thoughts.

_**I have thought about it for a while, and I'm sure there are a lot of other people who would love to have more then a simple memory of their loved ones. The war wasn't easy on anybody and even the ones who haven't lost anyone, I'm sure would want this memory box. **_

_**So what I'm asking you is, if you are interested in selling them in my shop? Of course half of the money I would make out of them would be yours. **_

_**Think about it. You can owl me any time and I'm sure we will see each other on Christmas break.**_

_**Sincerely yours, **_

_**George **_

_**PS: I don't know what is going on between my brother an you. But whatever it is, don't let him get to you. **_

Selling the memory box? She had never thought about it. It was just something that she had made up one night. An idea to help her to ease the pain she felt.

Maybe George had a point there. Many people had lost their their loved ones in the war and would probably be happy to remember them that way.

Slowly a smile spread about her face. For the first time, she had the feeling that something would change for the better.

TBC

* * *

A/N: Thank you for your reviews, I hope I can hold your interest.^^

ChildofLight: I know, I know exclamation marks...my great weakness. Don't ask me why, but I seem to love them. You are not the first to make me see that (and probably not the last). I'm really working on that matter but thank you for reminding me. Perhaps I need that now and then to slow them down a little. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. 31 October

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

Chapter 4:

_31 October: Halloween _

The library was silent and abandoned. Usually there were more people here on a Saturday morning, to work on their homework or study for their exams. Today most students were busy with the Halloween Ball. As if someone needed a whole day to prepare oneself for such a silly event.

Hermione was a girl alright, and although she was excited about her costume, she simply couldn't understand the hysteria of the others.

The ball wouldn't start before six, so there was plenty of time left till she needed to fix herself. On the bright sight she was able to enjoy the silence. In the last two hours she had been able to manage more than usually.

Of course the luxury didn't last long.

"Don't you think you overdo it sometimes, Granger?"

She sighed. At least it was Malfoy and not Campell. The latter had ambushed her this morning to tell her that he would pick her up at sharp six from her room. She had told him again, that she already had a date, but all he did was smile and bid her goodbye. Apparently he didn't believe her. Well, that was his problem! Arrogant snake!

"Leave me alone, Malfoy," she muttered and continued to write her Transfiguration essay. "Don't you have something to do? Getting ready for the ball or something like that?"

"Oh, I see, someone is in a foul mood today. What's the matter, got some new members in your fan club?" he sniggered. For a reason that was beyond herself, Malfoy loved to tease her with that.

"Very funny."

"That's me." She didn't need to look up to know that he was grinning his favourite Slytherin smile. "And shouldn't you be the one, preparing herself for the ball? Given you're the girl -well sort of."

That got him a nasty look, which he shrugged off.

"It seems that you are girly enough for the both of us."

"I assure you I'm as far from a girl than you can get. Care to see for yourself?" he asked and wiggled his eyebrows in a playful way.

Hermione knew he was only teasing so a snort was all he got from her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Have I not the right, to spend some time with my friend?"

"Malfoy!" She emphasised the word.

"Alright, alright," he grinned, not the least bit irritated by her tone. "I'm tired of Zabini asking me if he looked ok every thirty minutes or so."

"What?" Stunned she looked up.

Rolling his eyes Draco sat down on the chair next to him. "Since Patil agreed to go to the ball with him, he's almost unbearable."

"What do you mean unbearable?" She wasn't sure what he meant, but Hermione knew that it would break Parvati's heart if he was only playing with her. The dark haired girl had lived through enough and still was having troubles with the likes of Lavender. She didn't need some Slytherin who was bored with his time.

"He's telling everyone who wants to hear it -or not, that she is his date. Strictly speaking, Patil is all he ever talks about and by now he must have ordered his twentieth costume, only to find fault with it again," he snorted. "As if Patil would care if he's wearing Egyptian cotton or Italian velvet!"

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. She wasn't sure if it was because of Blaise´s antics or the frustration in Draco's voice.

"So he really likes her, hu?"

"Are you kidding? He's got the hots for her since forth year! He nearly spared the Dark Lord the effort and killed Potter himself, when he realized that he had asked her to the ball. It cost me a good two hours to calm him down."

Stunned she looked at him. "He wanted to ask her to the Yule ball?"

"Of course not," he snapped, but before she could say anything Malfoy silenced her with his hand. "Zabini´s family may have been mostly neutral, but he was still a Slytherin, Granger. He couldn't just ask a Gryffindor to be his date! He wouldn't have lived through the war, I can assure you!"

"So if he never intended to ask her out, why would he want to kill Harry?"

"For someone as brilliant as you, you're quite dense sometimes."

Again they had reached a point, where she glared at his throat and wished she was strong enough to choke him for good.

"You know, if you're staring at someone like that, he could get the wrong idea. Sometimes I think you don't like me," he mocked her and was barley able to hide his grin.

Ouuuuhhh!

Breath, Hermione, she told herself and glared at him.

"Really, Granger." He shook his head. "Blaise is Slytherin. We don't like it when someone touch what is ours."

"Yours?" she asked disbelievingly. "Parvati is not something you can possess! She is a breathing, human living."

Only a Slytherin could come up with something as barbaric like that.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist." Rolling his eyes he stood up. "You asked."

"Yeah, well that doesn't mean I have to be okay, with your answer."

"Whatever, Granger," He rolled his eyes and grinned. "Be ready at six."

"Uhm ,Malfoy..." she started uneasy. "Is it possible for you to be there a little sooner?"

"Why? Can't wait to see me again?" he asked smugly.

This time she was the one who rolled her eyes, though inwardly she groaned. She should have just kept quiet, now she had to tell him why. On the other hand, she really wasn't interested in a confrontation with Campell this evening.

"Campellwillbethereatsix," she muttered quickly.

"What was that?"

Sighing she repeated her answer. "I said, Campell will be there at six. He didn't seem to believe the story about you being my date."

Like she expected he snickered. "Slytherins can be persistent."

"Oh, really? I haven't noticed!" Hermione snapped sarcastically. "What is that with you snakes? Did no one teach you the word _no _at some point in your life?"

"Of course! They also taught us that a no is only a no if you can't find a way around it." It was obvious that he thought if funny to teach her a thing or two about Slytherins. "Be ready at quarter to six then." And with that he was gone. Probably to torture someone other.

"Snakes!" she muttered darkly and dipped her quill into the ink again.

* * *

Some hours later, after a quick visit with Remus and Teddy she was back in her quarters and decided that there was more than enough time to take a little nap before she had to get herself ready for the ball.

Without troubling herself to get rid of her clothes she stretched out on her bed and closed her eyes and was almost instantly asleep.

_Instantly she was transported into her dream and much to her dismay to the exact same setting as the last time. Even her eyes were still closed._

_She could hear the people around her whisper but this time it was in awe and envy. Hermione wasn't sure if she liked that more then the incessant chattering from the last dream. _

_Sighing she searched for something she could focus on that would distract her from the people and found it almost instantly._

_The man with the melodic voice was there, too and like before he was calling out her name. Smiling she enjoyed the sound which seemed much too beautiful to belong to a simple human. _

"_**Hermione"**_

_Her name sounded rich and somehow mystically when he spoke it. Not old and dusty like she often thought. _

"_Hermione__**"**_

_Again she smiled and felt a warm rush when she realised that the voice was coming closer. _

_He called her three times more before she was sure, that he was standing directly in front of her. So near in fact, that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek and than directly over her ear. Again he called her name, but this time it was nothing more than a breathless whisper and the sound of it caused her to shiver. _

_Her heart was beating wildly and she had to remind herself that humans had to breath. _

_She took a deep breath and was hit with the most delicious smell she had ever been confronted with. A various mix of earth, sandal-wood and something she couldn't describe. _

"_Open your eyes, Hermione!" he whispered, but she shook her head no. When she opened her eyes he would be gone, she was sure of it. _

"_Look at me, Hermione!" _

"_You won't leave?" Her voice was barely audible and somehow she was astonished that she was even able to form words. _

"_I will never leave you. I will always be there," he promised and she could feel her traitorous heart reach out for him. It was foolish. Not only because it was a dream. It was foolish to believe those words and get hurt. That it was a dream made it only worse, as soon as she woke up he would be gone and she would be alone again. _

_How deep had she fallen, that by now she was seeking comfort in her dreams?_

"_You're only a dream," she protested. _

"_Only if you want me to be." And with that he did something she didn't expected. He kissed her. Soft warm lips were pressed against her own and made her tremble with a deep longing. Against her __better judgement her eyes flew open. _

_Slowly he leant back and smiled at her and again Hermione could do nothing else than to remind her body that he needed oxygen to live. Dream or not. _

_Right in front of her, was one of the best looking men she had ever led eyes on. He was tall, with broad shoulders and a muscular body. The costume he wore only added to his striking looks. Hermione swallowed tightly and let her eyes roam higher. She was struck by a pair of piercing green eyes which looked at her from behind a silver masked. _

_His dark brown hair was neatly tied at his neck and she wasn't quite sure how long it really was, though it seemed enviably straight._

_Why was it that everyone got perfect hair but her?_

_Inwardly pushing the stupid thought aside she tried to inspect him further only to discover that she was stuck with his eyes again. _

_They were equally beautiful as they were scary. She couldn't quite say what she found scary about them but something in the depth of them was just...well scary. Not mandatory in an evil way. There was just a part in them that didn't fit. As if they were too old to be part of him. _

_In a twisted way it made him just more beautiful to her. _

_Most people thought her to love things to be evident and clear, but that was not true. Where was the challenge in something everyone could figure out?_

_Hermione loved puzzles, they challenged her mind and kept her on her toes. There was nothing more boring then when things became plain and simple. One of her biggest fears was complete knowledge. Some might find it odd or would even laugh given that she practically lived in the library but it was true. _

_She loved to learn and loved to fathom out things and she would be downright horrified without that stimulation. Thank Merlin that that was a practically impossible. Even Dumbledore who was one of the most intelligent wizards she knew, didn't knew everything. _

"_Dance with me?" His question ripped her out of her thoughts about his eyes, though she had a hard time to rip her eyes from his. _

_She nodded and was rewarded with a broad smile that made her quite breathless, but was nothing compared to what his lips did to her body. _

_As if he had heard her thoughts he leant forward and kissed her hand. The skin where is lips had kissed her, tingled slightly and she could feel her cheeks heat up as she realized that they had quite an audience. _

_The man in front of her seemed to notice her sudden hesitation and smiled fondly at her. _

"_´No need to be shy. They just envy me for being with you."_

_Sure! All the sour looking woman just wanted to dance with her! _

_She must have spoken that out loud, because he started to laugh and lead her to the dance floor. The crowd parted for him like the ocean had to Moses and as soon as they were in the right position the music started playing for them._

_Hermione loved dancing and he was a magnificent dancer. They practically floated over the dance floor and she started to feel like the fairy princess she tried to personify. And all the while he stared into her eyes as if she was the only woman in the room worth his attention._

_A nice feeling. _

_But when had this dream changed from something like a nightmare, over a theatre-like dance into a stupid childhood fantasy?_

_When she was six and the other children taunted her for being different she often played fairy princess and knight in shiny amour with her favourite stuff teddy. _

_Of course she would be the princess and the overly sized teddy was her knight who rescued her from the dark witches and afterwards danced with her. Her magic had made the bear move on its own and always made her smile. _

_That was until her mother had seen it and forbade her to ever do something like that again. Today she understood that her mother had been simply terrified and couldn't understand because she didn't knew about magic then but she had never played her favourite game again. _

_Until now it seemed. Only that her teddy bear had transformed into the most charming knight with unbelievable dancing skills. _

_When had her life become that bad that she needed shelter in childhood fantasies? Not even Voldemort and his followers had caused that kind of reaction. _

_Sighing she just banished those thoughts and enjoyed the dancing when she heard a noise that definitely didn't belong in her dream. By now she even could tell what was dream and what not. And the knocking sound was real. _

_She knew that she couldn't fight her waking up but that didn't mean she couldn't try. She clutched his shoulders harder and in return she felt his hands gripping her tighter. As if he could hold her with him by it. _

_He couldn't and the last thing she saw, was his green eyes starring at her. _

* * *

With a gasp she was wide awake but she nearly screamed when she looked at her alarm clock, which showed her that it was twenty minutes past four.

"Crap!" Hectically she fought her way out of bed and was half way into the bathroom when she remembered what had woken her up in the first place.

She opened the door but nobody was there. Not thinking much of it she was about to close the door when her eyes landed on something in front of her feet and her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she noticed what it was.

"Impossible!"she breathed and got down on wobbly legs to pick it up. There right in front of her was the golden half mask she had worn in her dream. It was exactly the same that she had seen herself wearing in the mirror. The little glass-stones -or what she hoped where glass-stones and not diamonds -decorating the mask sparkled in a way that smashed her _hopes _instantly.

She was just about to stand up again as she noticed something else on the floor. It must have lain beneath the mask for she couldn't see anther reason why else she hadn't seen it earlier.

Her fingers roamed hesitantly over it before she picked it up and took it with her into her room. Hermione wasn't quite sure what she should make out of this but right there in her hand was one of the most precious things a witch or wizard could possess -a Phoenix feather.

It was beautiful. A dark crimson with with golden sprinkles at the end and so long that Hermione guessed it had to be from his tail.

Why in Merlin's name would Fawkes grace her with one of his feathers? Sure he had behaved quite odd during her visit in Dumbledore's office and she somehow thought he liked her. But so much that he send her a feather?

And what about the mask?

Another look at her alarm clock told her that now was not the time to wonder about those things. If she didn't want to look like a harpy she better hurried.

Quickened by the thought of finally wearing her costume she established to change in record time. As she finally looked into the mirror she again couldn't believe her eyes.

She was as breathtaking as in her dream but she still looked beautiful. Not like during the Yule ball. This time she nearly looked unearthly. In a good way -at least that was what she thought. She had done what she could to match her appearance to the way she had looked in her dream.

The dress was nearly the same, although there were less gems on it to reflect the light. But the fit and the colour was as good as the one she had dreamt about. Her hair was a little more difficult, as she had prefigured. In reality gravity and her curls fought an unequal battle. One in which the gravity always was the winner, so her hair style was a little less spectacular.

In exchange her she had found a wonderful body butter that made her skin glow golden and brought a smile to her face. All in all she looked better than she could have hoped for. There was only one thing missing now.

Slowly but determined she grasped the mask and put it on. It fit perfectly and completed her costume.

Before she had time to think too much about her dream self and her real self -there was a knock on the door and she took a last deep breath before she opened it.

The sight that greeted her had to be a first. Draco bloody Malfoy was standing in front of her, mouth hanging open and at a loss for words.

"Didn't your mother taught you that it is rude to stare?" she smiled satisfied. If she was able to shut up Malfoy it would do.

"You clean up quite nicely." Apparently he had found his voice again. Typical for the wrong words.

"Is that the best a Malfoy can come up with? Charming," she mocked.

"Oh, you haven't seen half of it!" Wiggling his eye-brows he left no room for guessing what he was talking about.

Finally she was able to take a look at _him_. She must admit that he _cleaned up nicely _too. Draco was a pirate -complete with tricorn, sabre and pistol. Probably the best dressed and manicured pirate who ever graced this earth but unmistakeably a pirate. He was even wearing a black patch covering his left eye which fit quite nicely.

"Should I turn around so you can ogle my backside too?"

Rolling her eyes she stepped out onto the corridor closing the door behind her. "I think I will pass this time," she told him and laughed as he tried to pout.

"Don't pout!"

"Malfoys do not pout," he huffed and offered her his arm, which she took good natured.

* * *

To say that the rest of the school was shocked to see her -Hermione -_war-heroine-Mudblood_-Granger on the arm of none other than Draco-former-_Death-Eater-Pureblood_-Malfoy would be the understatement of the year, Hermione thought bitterly.

Half of them were frozen on the spot while the other half looked as if they were waiting for them to hex each other at any second.

From the moment on the two of them had walked through the doors an uncomfortable silence had extended through the Great Hall.

Not even Voldemort had caused such a scene and Hermione was torn between mortification and anger. Finally she decided for option three: to simply ignore them.

Malfoy seemed to think the same and asked her if she would like something to drink which she hurriedly answered with a yes, only to get out of the spotlight.

"Hermione, you look gorgeous!" A familiar voice announced and Hermione looked to her side to see Parvati Patil, dressed beautifully as an oriental princess, walking towards her on the arm of Blaise Zabini who looked as if he had won in the lottery. Apparently Draco was right with him being over the moon to be with the girl he had liked for so long.

He was dressed as an Arabian prince, which fit quite nicely with his olive skin. Together they made a striking couple.

"And you look breathtaking," she answered truthfully and admired the rich coloured costume that would have looked ridiculous on anybody with a lighter skintone.

"You look good, too," she nodded in Blaise direction. She thought after all the trouble he had gone through with his costume he deserved some kind of compliment.

"Thanks, Granger," he grinned. "You clean up nicely too!" The dark haired boy added which caused Malfoy to snicker uncontrollable.

"What is it? Some kind of Pureblood code for _You look good?" s_he asked with a huff but couldn't help and smile slightly.

They talked for a bit before the men excused themselves to get something to drink.

"I wanted to thank you, Hermione. Padma told me what happened in the Great Hall. She couldn't understand what Lavender was saying but I can imagine. You haven't had to do that, but thank you none the less." Parvati told her earnestly and Hermione asked herself what else Lavender might have said about her before.

"You're welcome," she smiled kindly and bared herself from saying more. This was not the place and time to talk about depressing topics.

Obviously not everyone shared that opinion.

"Oh, no!" she muttered as she noticed an angry looking redhead storming in her direction, closely followed by a distressed looking Harry. The latter was dressed in a forest green costume complete with a funny looking hat with feather. From Ginny she knew that the two of them were dressed up as Robin Hood and Maid Marian which she found oddly fitting for the two of them.

As strong and clever as his idol had reputedly been, Harry didn't seem able to stop Ron from making an idiot out of himself.

She could feel Parvati beside her stiffen and a few people who were still gaping at her sensed some kind of new scandal they could gossip about and halted in their action so that they wouldn't miss anything.

"Ron, come on calm down..." Harry tried again but without any result.

"What the hell is the meaning of this?" her former best friend barked at her. His face was already red enough to rival his hair and but didn't seem to have reached its maximum.

"Hello Ronald, so nice to see you too," she answered sarcastically.

"Stuff it!" he snapped. "What were you thinking to come here with the ferret? Have you no shame at all? He's a Death Eater and you let him parade you around like some kind of whore!"

Hermione felt as if someone had slapped her and from the gasp of the people around her she could tell that they were shocked too. Even after all that had happened in the last weeks, there were still boundaries that shouldn't been crossed.

What had she done to deserve that kind of treatment? It wasn't her that had changed so much.

"RON!" Ginny's voice could be heard from behind her. A second later she was standing beside her. "How dare you speak to Hermione like that? Wait till I tell Mum what a git you are!" The little redhead defended her, but it did nothing to the numb feeling inside her that had started to grow a long while ago, but had never been so prominent as now.

Harry though still trying to reason with Ron to let it drop, said nothing in her defensive. Like before he was avoiding to even look in her direction.

"That's none of your business Ginny!" Ron downright hissed at his sister. "The ferret has no right to be here and if she's with him the same goes for her!"

Hermione was at a loss of words. What could you possibly say to someone you once called your best friend -someone you have fought a war with side by side -and now was looking at you with so much hate in his eyes that you wanted to cry?

But it looked as if Ron wasn't done just yet. "You are a traitor to your own house! After all Malfoy and his friends did to you throw yourself at him. You are disgusting!"

That got her out of her reserve but before she could find her voice again she heard Lavender Brown spat: "Slytherin bitch!" in her direction as she appeared right next to Ron an clung to him like some kind of parasite. The blond girl was dressed as a cheerleader, probably to match it with Ron's Quidditch player outfit. How fitting.

"Funny, hearing that out of your mouth." Draco's voice appeared out of nowhere, quickly followed by his person as he came to an halt next to her. "Given that you knew the Slytherin sleeping rooms better than most, my own house mates included."

Blaise was with him and positioned himself next to Parvati, laying his arm protectively around her waist, while he regarded Lavender with the same sour expression as Malfoy.

"Why, you disgusting Death Eater scum!" Lavender cried out enraged. "Why don't you take your whore and get lost?" she spat and forced an enraged gasped out of everyone around her apart from Ron who looked quite smug with the way things were going.

She was tempted to simply slap it out of his face but instead she composed herself, straitened her expression and said in the best haughty voice she could come up with: "Come one Draco, lets dance."

"Oh, is the little Miss-no-it-all at a loss for words?" Ron mocked and Harry who had hold back Ginny from attacking Lavender earlier, tightened the grip on his girlfriends arm.

When had Ron gotten this cruel? He had always got quite a temper and used to speak before he used his brain, but never like this.

"You know Ronald," she emphasized the name that made Harry and Draco wince instantly "I use to avoid fights with idiots. They use to drag you down on their level and beat you with experience on it. And the two of you, " she snorted and looked from Ron to Lavender, "seem to have extraordinary experience in that field!"

That got her a few chuckles and for a second she even thought to see a small smile on Harry's lips before it vanished quickly.

"Well said, Granger!" Draco snickered and offered her his arm. "You said something about a dance?"

"What is the meaning of this?" the shrill voice of Professor McGonagall could be heard as she forced herself through the student body which was standing around them.

"Nothing serious Professor. Just a little misunderstanding," Draco assured,"we were just about to risk a dance," the Malfoy heir added and put his charm on full force. Unfortunately it melted on McGonagall´s stern expression like ice in the sunshine.

"They are right Professor." It was Harry who came to their rescue. "Truth to be told were were all about to hit the dance floor." The hand around Ginny which a minute before was used to hold her back was now laying loosely around her waist.

"Yes, Professor." Ginny smiled too and the rest of them were quick to follow. Nobody wanted to get detentions.

The older woman didn't look convinced but with all students sticking together against her, there was not much that she could do. So after another sharp look, she turned around and walked away.

* * *

Five minutes later Hermione found herself in the arms of Malfoy on the dance floor. It was far away from the fairy like dancing from her dream though Draco was a wonderful dancer and took the lead flawlessly, unlike many other men she had danced with.

"Don't let him get to you, Granger."

"Easier said then done," she sighed.

"Weasley is an idiot and the only whore in here is the one on his arm." She didn't even try to correct him, nor did she allow herself to look for her so called friends on the dance floor.

It wasn't she who had done wrong! She didn't even know why Ron was acting the way he did in the first place. All she knew was that she suddenly hadn't been good enough any longer. Now that the war was over there obviously was no place left for her in his life and Harry...

Harry choose Ron. Like in sixth year, like on the the hunt -like always.

Like those time in the forest when Harry had welcomed Ron back with open arms and pushed her to the side still being angry at her for breaking his wand while she rescued his life. Like in the dark shadows of the forest, under the old tree, where she went to hide her tears she asked herself what she was worth when even her best friends seemed to have no need for her?

As much as she tried she couldn't free herself from the dark and sadthoughts. Draco did his best to play the charming date and she really appreciated it. Who would have guessed that Draco Malfoy was on his best manners when she was concerned?

It wasn't until an hour later, when Luna suddenly appeared on their table that she was ripped out of her self pity.

The golden haired girl was dressed up as the sun herself. The golden silk like robe which flowed playfully around her slim figure awarded her with a regal appearance. Shafts of sunlight, which looked like a halo surrounded her head and even glowed lightly when she moved.

But it wasn't Luna's spectacular costume that awakened her curiosity -it was Malfoy's reaction to her. It was really subtle and Hermione wondered that she even noticed it.

For a brief second his eyes lid up and the oddest expression crossed his features. Much like the time in the train, but unlike then Hermione was able to label it this time.

He liked her. Like in liked her!

Draco Malfoy had a crush on Luna Lovegood.

"Luna!" she greeted the girl warmly and couldn't help but smile brightly.

"Oh, hello Hermione," the other girl smiled back and then looked at Malfoy, who obviously couldn't take his eyes of her. "Hallo Dragon!"

Hermione would have giggled, hadn't she been sure that Draco would have choked her for it. But it was just too good to be true to see the light blush appear on his cheeks again, when he heard Luna use her nickname for him.

"You look fantastic. Where is your date?" she asked after Luna had sat down beside them.

"I'm here alone. No one wanted to go with me."

"Oh Luna I'm sorry. I didn't want to..."

"Don't be sorry Hermione. I don't mind." Knowing Luna she probably didn't but she still felt bad for bringing it up and even worse for knowing that Draco would likely have loved to be her date tonight. Instead he was here with her and she hadn't been the best company so far.

"Hallo, Luna." Draco's deferred greeting caused both girls to look at him. Apparently he had found his voice.

Luna smiled brightly, without noticing his slightly dazed state, or she simply didn't care. "You look good as a pirate."

Hermione had to bite the inside of her cheeks to contain a neutral expression. As surprised as she still was from the display in front of her, she didn't want to ruin anything. So she just smiled and kept silent, while the two of them started to chat about what they wanted to do after school. Mostly it was Luna who talked, but Draco seemed genuinely interested and asked more questions then Hermione had heard him ask in all their time at Hogwarts.

Now and then Blaise and Parvati would join them at the table, but mostly they kept to themselves, dancing and beaming at each other like a couple on the honeymoon. Ginny kept away from them, though Hermione saw her smiling encouraging over to her a few times.

Harry continued to ignore her while Ron and Lavender did her best to show her how impossibly happy they were with each other. Their vision of a happy relationship obviously consisted of shoving their tongues in each others throat and groping each other on the dance floor.

Neville with his date Hannah Abbot showed up for a quick hello, but Hermione knew he wasn't comfortable in Malfoy's company so she wasn't surprised that he didn't stay long.

* * *

It was nearly twelve when she nipped defeated at her drink while she watched Campell walking towards her. Soon after Malfoy had started to talk to Luna, _Blake _as he insisted she should call him appeared at her table. Again he had showed an immense sense of ignorance when he simply grinned at her and told her if she wanted to play hard to get, he was in.

That comment even got Malfoy out of his dream state and nearly caused a bloody scene. So in the end she had made a deal with him.

Two dances and he would leave her alone. He agreed -at least for tonight. She guessed that was better than nothing. And now the menace -adequately dressed up as the phantom of the opera -was here to collect her for second time.

"Mya!" He smiled the smile of a man, who knew his victim couldn't escape from him. Sighing she got up and allowed him to guide her to the dance floor.

Like Malfoy he was a brilliant dancer, which assured her that it had to be a Pureblood thing. Would the situation be different, she might have enjoyed it.

"Am I really that bad?" Blake suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Me. You look like someone broke your wand in two. Am I that bad?"

Was he really that bad? Well she guessed not. Any other girl would have squealed with delight to be in her place.

Sometime back in their fourth year, during the tournament, Lavender and Pavarti had started a _hot list_. Out of all the men -boys really -who were worth it (according to the to Gryffindors) they would form a top twenty list and update it every once in a while.

Hermione had never given anything to that stupid list, but it was hard to ignore -given that it was all most witches would talk about after it was out.

So at the moment Hermione was dancing with the eighth hottest guy in school. The hottest was Harry of course and Hermione doubted that he would ever leave that position after defeating Voldemort and being the Boy-who-lived-and-lived-again.

"No, you are not," she finally admitted and looked into is clear blue eyes which were watching her intensely. "I guess I'm just not used to it." To admit it, forced her to ask herself why she did everything to avoid him.

The truth was, it had always been Ron but over time his thoughtless or hurtful comments and actions caused her to shelter herself. After all she was Hermione Granger -famous for her brain not for attracting wizards.

"Well, then you better get used to it. "

She was about to answer -sure she had no idea what she should say -but she didn't need to worry about that any longer since Dumbledore choose that moment to rise from his seat and call for attention.

"I hope you all had a wonderful time tonight," the headmaster pronounced and was answered with claps and whistles. "We have to thank our head boy and girl for making it such a wonderful event." Again there was clapping and for five more minutes she listened to Dumbledore's pleasantries. "...something special. Very few have ever witness what you are going to see tonight."

That got Hermione's attention.

"One of the rarest magic the wizard world know of is the magic of a Phoenix, but what you will see tonight will be more then anyone of you can imagine."

Frowning Hermione looked at her headmaster. What could he possibly be talking about? The other people in the hall -even the teachers -seemed to be thinking in the same lines. Everyone showed an expression somewhere between curiosity and surprise, which only deepened the next moment, as Dumbledore made a quick move with his wand.

There -not more than two arm length away from her- on the middle of the dance floor appeared Fawkes. Or at least what was left over.

The Phoenix was obviously in the last part of his cycle. It was hard to imagine that the grey and peaky creature, which was sitting on a perch that appeared together with him in the great hall, was the magnificent bird that had sung for her a few weeks ago.

The dazzling red and golden colour had completely vanished and most of his feathers looked liked they had been cropped off. But the worst, at least in Hermione's mind was his silence. No tone escaped his throat. Neither a beautiful song nor an anguish cry as he waited for the fire to consume him so that he could be reborn again.

And for the first time in her life Hermione asked herself if it was a painless experience for the Phoenix to resolve into ashes or something he feared each time he knew it was going to happen.

From the excited whispers that could be heard around her it was clear that most of them were aware that they would witness the rebirth of a Phoenix, but Hermione understood that there had to be more. It couldn't just be a normal end of a cycle.

She couldn't say why, but while she was looking at the _dying _Phoenix an uneasy feeling spread through her body. It wasn't totally uncomfortable or what one would call a dark foreboding, more a tingling in...in her magic. That was odd.

Something big was going to happen and without realizing it she took a step back.

The tingling in her magic was increasing and to her great shock it seemed to manifest itself around her like a fresh wave of air. It wasn't the first time it happened. A few times in the past, when she had been riled up beyond reason the air around her would start to crackle with magic, but not like this.

_This _was something she had never heard of and there were very few things Hermione Granger had never heard off.

Blake beside her gasped surprised and jumped aside when her skirt and hair begun to flutter slightly as if the wind was playing with it. Gasping she watched with wide eyes, as the waving air around her started to crackle and tingle with magic to an extend she thought she could see golden sparks twirling around her.

What was happening to her?

People around her started to gasp, talk and shout all at the same time but Hermione couldn't hear a damned thing they were saying. Enthralled by her own magic she was frozen on the spot. She couldn't talk or move a muscle even if she wanted to.

All she could do was watch through dilated eyes and although she couldn't understand what was happening something in her told her that there was no need to be afraid.

The magic was now twirling wildly around her in spiralling circles and would crackle every now and then like fire in a fireplace. Swallowing hard she tried her best to ease herself. It was her magic after all. That she could feel and there was no need to panic she reasoned with herself.

And the more she calmed the more stable the magic became. Instead of wild, uncontrolled waves, the magic was now flowing around her in a steady golden steam. Her breathing became less and less hectic and finally eased. Suddenly it felt as if she could feel the tingling magic washing through her with every breath the took. In and out till the tingling filled every part of her body. It was the most amazing feeling Hermione had ever experienced and she started to smile.

And the exact moment she could feel herself becoming one with the magic surrounding her she heard a loud SWASH.

Wincing at the sudden noise her eyes searched for the reason of the disruption and her eyes widened some more.

Fawkes body had burst into flames, but instead of a short flash of fire and the rebirth -like she had read about there was a head high flame that seemed to burn of minutes and than in a flash it was gone. But instead of a new born Phoenix there was...

"No!" Hermione stuttered and finally found her voice back. "No!" She shook her head in disbelief and the magic waves around her started to crackle up again. "Impossible."

There crouching on the floor, naked like on the day he was born, was the man from her dreams. Even without the clothes and the mask, which normally shrouded half of his face, she knew it was him as she stared straight into his green eyes. "No," she said again. This time louder, with a panicked undertone.

The golden waves around her we buzzing loudly by now, mirroring exactly her confused feelings.

"Hermione"

His melodic voice was the last thing she heard, before everything went black.

TBC

* * *

A/N: Okay here it is...Human Fawkes is finally in the picture and from now on there will be more about him.

My main characters are Hermione and Fawkes but I think Draco and Luna would make a great pair so there will a bit more about those two.

Sorry to all Ron-fans but I can't promise that he will get better, while Harry maybe come around after some time.

I'm still trying to get the pieces together in my head so I'm not sure myself where this will lead me, though I have a plan^^ Hopefully you enjoyed it this far, even though it's a maybe a little different.

A cockie for your thoughts^^


	5. 1 November 12 December

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

Enjoy!

Chapter 5:

_1. November – 12. December _

Fawkes was far from being amused.

It had been nearly twenty days since the curse had been broken.

Twenty days! Almost three weeks! Any other person in his position might have been happy to be back in his human form after 263 years in prison.

Well, he was. Who wouldn't be after that amount of time in the form of a bird? A beautiful, rare and powerful bird, but an animal none the less.

There had been times when he had enjoyed being a Phoenix. It was hard to believe but it was the truth. After the first shock, anger and the spiteful hate was gone and he had to see reason that he would be stuck in his bird form, he had tried to make peace.

At least with himself.

Fawkes wasn't sure how long it had taken him after that, but one day when he had opened his eyes, he was suddenly able to notice the beauty around him. He had spread his wings and and glided through the bright blue sky till he was too tired to continue. But his heart had beat wildly every time he remembered the amazing, carefree flight.

From that day forward he had been happier. Somehow more free and open to realise that his life wasn't over. Just different.

That was also around the time, he had met an intelligent, kind and powerful wizard by the impressive name of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore -and chose to stay with him.

To say that this man hadn't changed his life somewhat as drastically as the curse itself wouldn't be only an understatement it would be a round lie. But other than the curse he had changed his life for the better.

But all that didn't mean he wanted to stay a phoenix forever. Not if there was a way to prevent it -and there was. It had cost him a lifetime to find out that there was a cure. A small chance to become what he once had been. A breathing human being.

263 years were a long time but in the end he had found her: Hermione Granger. Smartest witch of her age and his candle in the night. The one person who possessed the power to free him.

And freed him she had!

Like the fairy tale princess she had been in the dreams he had sent her, she stood before him. And instead of bursting into flames and be reborn as a phoenix, like so many times before, this time as the flames gave him free, he was actually himself again.

Nathaniel E. Fawkes, son of Oberon E. Fawkes. Heir to the Fawkes name, fortune, position and every thing else. Not to forget the reputation.

So three weeks after he had re-entered the world of the humans, he should be giddy with happiness and well he was...and wasn't.

The reason for his misery was the same reason he felt happy at all. A little contradictory -granted, but that was how it was.

Everything was centring around Hermione.

Things started with her and things ended with her. If he liked it or not she was practically the axis of his world and without her he would come to an uncomfortable still stand.

He couldn't let that happen, not if his world had just started to spin again.

* * *

Gritting her teeth together Hermione quickened her steps as she walked through the hallways. She tried to ignore the whispers from the other students, as well as she could but it was getting harder. Ever since that _incident _in the Great Hall during the Halloween Ball, she had been the focus of the gossip mile of Hogwarts.

She hated it. Even before _that,_ she had to bear the fact that a lot of people seemed to think they had the right to speculate about her -with being a war heroine, the cleverest witch of her age and all that crap. But now it was even worse than in her forth year after Victor Krum had asked her to be his date for the Yule ball.

This time even the teachers glanced at her with curious eyes. There were all sorts of theories how she had done it and obviously there was not a single soul who didn't believe it to be her work that Fawkes was no longer a phoenix.

Of course the former magical bird was the first one to admit that it was her doing. Now she was Hermione Granger -smartest witch of her age, war heroine _and _ancient curse breaker!

For the first time in her life, she wished she could skip classes and hide in her room but of course with the upcoming exams she couldn't allow herself such cowardliness. So she did the next best thing. She avoided crowded places, ate her meals in the silence of her room and only visited the library to check out new books.

That was the hardest part of it. Hermione loved the library of Hogwarts and especially now, when she wanted to research about the curse and her part in breaking it she missed it. But she had no other choice if she wanted to avoid nosy questions. And more than that, she wanted to avoid _him._ He and his endless pulp of fan girls who giggled and flirted with him the whole time.

So okay -he looked good.

_Scratch that, Hermione, s_he rebuked herself. He looked bloody amazing. Human Fawkes was breathtaking to look at and even her dream faded in comparison to the real thing. Tall, broad shouldered, with muscles in the right places and the most amazing eyes ever.

A dark an mysterious shade of green she had never seen before.

Hermione sighed inwardly.

Ever since the ball he never missed a change to talk with her, compliment her and flirt with her which only fuelled the gossip and jealously of the other witches.

As if he was really interested in her, she snorted. It was quite obvious that he was convinced to be in her debt for freeing him. But instead of being happy, all Hermione could feel was sadness. She didn't want him to be nice to her because he felt under constraint by his honour or something like that. She wanted the things to be like in her dreams, but they had left her. In their place once again was the all consuming darkness and pain Bellatrix LeStrange had caused her.

She banned all thoughts of the crazy witch out of her mind. It was bad enough that she spent her nights with memories of her, she had no right to consume her day time. Instead she thought of the first time she had talked to Fawkes and smiled a little.

After she had woken up from the unconsciousness he had been there. He sat next to her on the hospital bed and smiled at her so brightly that she had felt her heart flutter in excitement.

"_Hello, my fairy princess." _

_She blinked and was tempted to pinch herself, to make sure this wasn't a dream. _

"_No, dream," he assured her as if he had read her mind. "I'm real, this time. All thanks to you." _

"_The dreams...you...Phoenix..." Hermione stuttered less eloquent but he only smiled at her. "I don't understand!" _

"_No? I think you do -after all you have seen what magic can do is it so hard to imagine that what happened is true?" _

_That had been her problem. "What exactly happened?" _

"_I've been cursed a long time ago, princess," he smiled sadly but something in his eyes wasn't right. She couldn't say what it was -there were so many emotions reflected in them that she couldn't make out all of them. _

"_I have spent the last 263 imprisoned in the body of a Phoenix. And you are the one, who obviously broke the curse." _

"_How? How is that possible? Why me?" _

"_You are something special, princess, that's you can't imagine how happy I'm that I found you -or should I say that you found me?" _

_With that he took her hand, which was covered in one of his own, and kissed her knuckles. It was such an old and intimate gesture that she could feel her cheeks heating up. His eyes smiled cheekily down at her and she shifted uncomfortably in her bed, suddenly realising that she was wearing nothing but a thin hospital grown. _

After nearly three hundred years in an inhuman body she would also be happy to be herself again. It wasn't hard to understand why he felt grateful, but she really wished he would stop making her feel...special.

At first she hadn't mind. Who in their right mind would? But some well placed spiteful words from Lavender had set things right.

_Smiling like a fool she watched Fawkes walk away. It had been nine days since Halloween and the newly freed man was always somewhere around her. Hermione enjoyed his company immensely. He was not only nice to look at but also quite intelligent and witty. Apart from Draco there weren't so many people around her these days who could hold a conversation with her that easily and the latter was spending more and more time with Luna. _

_Hermione was happy for him, but although it had been only a week she suddenly noticed how much she had come to enjoy being friends with Draco. So Fawkes also helped her over her loneliness._

_Ignoring the endless whispers and pointed fingers around her she was about to turn around and walk into the classroom when Lavenders voice pierced through the air. _

"_You are such a fool, Hermione!" she snorted. "Do you really believe he is interested in you? Have you ever looked into a mirror?" Her hateful words didn't hurt so much any longer. They came from Lavender after all. "He's taking pity on you because he feels he is in your debt. Why else would a man like him even look at you, when he can have anyone he wants?" _

_That hurt, but not as much as her next words. "Oh, you're really disenchanted. Where do you think he spends his time when he is not with you. Or should I say, with whom does he spend his time?After three centuries a man really needs more than an inexperienced little bookworm." And with a last haughtily laugh she was gone. Leaving a shell shocked Hermione behind. _

_She wanted to push Lavenders words aside as spiteful lies, which were only spoken to hurt her but Hermione was no fool. As cruel as the blond girl had turned out to be, somewhere in the depth the curly haired witch knew she was right. And sure enough, after that she had looked a little deeper and more carefully around. _

_The way he smiled at other witches, made them giggle and put that dreamy look in their eyes, she knew she must have too, when she spoke with him. She was disenchanted and with a painful sob she had ripped her rose-coloured glasses away. _

_Gone was the fairytale prince form her dream and in his place was a nice and good looking man who only spend time with her because he was thankful. Not because he liked her and wanted to know her better._

In a twisted way she probably should thank Lavender for setting things straight but she would rip out her own tongue before she would say something nice to the blond woman. Life at Hogwarts was far from being a dream these days -even worse than in her first year and were it not for Luna and Draco Hermione would be a weeping mess.

But Luna and her _Dragon _where just about to discover whatever attraction was between them and Hermione didn't want to be in their way. So apart from the times they spent working on their charity project and a meal now and then she left them alone.

Today was Friday and classes where over. But it was also only a few days after the last full moon and she knew that Remus was still feeling a little weak. Her plan was to spent their day with him and his son and look a little after them. Remus tended to neglect himself and she would make sure that he ate enough and rested while she would spent some time with Teddy.

"Hermione!"

There was the one voice she had hoped to avoid and she had almost reached Remus door. Damn. For a moment she played with the thought to just continue to walk and play deaf but she knew she wouldn't get far with it. So she stopped, put a smile on her face and turned around.

"Nathaniel, how are you?" Even though he was still Fawkes in her thoughts, she found it quite rude to call him that out loud.

"Splendid!" He smiled and her traitorous heart forgot to beat for a second. "I wondered if you would like to accompany me tomorrow? We could spend the day in Hogsmeade and have butter beer together."

Why was he doing that to her? There was no need to be nice to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Nathaniel, but I promised Teddy to go with him."

Yes, that was a good argument.

"Teddy?" His sharp voice startled her for a moment and he must have noticed, because the fervent glim in his eyes dimmed instantly.

"Uhm...yes. Ted Lupin," she explained a little unsure. "You know, Professor Lupins son." That caused a drastic change in him. From one second to the other he relaxed and sent her a warm smile once again.

"Oh, the one you told me about?" After her confirming nod he continued. "Well, why don't we take him with us? I'm sure he is much more charming company than me, but I will do my very best to keep up with him." His green eyes contained so much hope that Hermione barely dared to breathe. Could it be that Lavender was maybe wrong after all? That she was more than a charity project for him and he wanted to spend time with her?

"Okay," she heard herself say and was rewarded with a megawatt smile that caused her to blush brightly.

"Excellent! Should I pick you up at nine from your common room? Or would it suit you better to meet with me in the great hall?"

"Uh...would the great hall be okay with you? I' have to pick up Teddy before."

"No problem." He was still smiling and Hermione felt less and less worried about her decision to spend the day with him tomorrow. She had still so many questions about the curse he was under and how it was to live as a phoenix for such a long time. Or how life in the wizard world had been when he had been a human. The lines of questions in her mind was endless, and of course there was the fact that spending time with Fawkes was always so flawless. He made her feel cherished and it was easy then to forget about the spiteful words Lavender threw at her.

But ten minutes later when she was knocking on Remus door her worries were back. Was it really the right decision to go with him?

* * *

"Is there something you want to talk about? About a former Phoenix maybe?"

From the startled look Hermione gave him, Remus could tell that she wasn't expecting that question, but the way she was nipping at her bottom lip told him that there was something.

"What do you mean?" she asked and haltered in her attempt to clean the dishes, much to the horror of the house elves.

"I mean, that first you spend most of your time with Nathaniel Fawkes and now you seem to avoid him as much as a person possibly could." Something was off, he was sure of it but he couldn't figure out what. It was very clear that the former bird was very fond of Hermione. The fact that she had lift his curse was probably part of his fondness, but Remus could see that there was more to it.

He sought her company with a desperation that was nearly frantic and had him frowning now and then. But Fawkes had made her laugh and treated her with the uttermost respect and the old werewolf was thankful for it.

Astonishingly the young Malfoy made a good job, too since the two of them started to work on a project together, but not quite in the same way as Fawkes. Probably because Draco wasn't interested in Hermione in more than a friendly way, while no one could deny Nathaniel's interest in Hermione. In Remus eyes it was about time that someone saw Hermione as what she really was. A kind, intelligent and beautiful person. Maybe too intelligent and witty for most boys her age to appreciate what they would have in a woman like her.

Remus knew how lonely she really was, he witnessed it since the end of the war.

Her ambition to prove her worth in the wizard community and her quenchless thirst for knowledge had always separated her from the other students but her friendship with Harry and Ron had always been her anchor and they meant the world to her. Nobody knew better than him how hard it was to stick out and how much it meant to have good friends who stood by your side. And how hard it was to loose them. In a certain way, to loose a good friend through death wasn't as bad as to loose him the way Hermione lost Ron. At least Remus knew that James and Sirius were with him till the last breath.

Ron had simply changed and not for the better. Harry would come around with time, he was sure but Remus couldn't help and feel gutted about the way he treated his best fiend. Hermione had stuck to him no matter what everyone else thought and told behind his back. She had always put his well-being before her own and now when she really needed him he was too occupied with himself to see her misery. Neither the way her nightmares tormented her nor how lonely she was.

"I don't avoid him," Hermione denied his reproach. "In fact I will go with him to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

"Oh really?" he frowned. "I thought you wanted to take Teddy tomorrow?"

"Uh..um...yes, well I told him that I would spent time with Teddy tomorrow and he still wanted to go with me to Hogsmeade." She was biting her lower lip again and the frown on his forehead deepened.

"You want to take a toddler with you on a date?"

"It's no date!" she protested. "We are just...just...He's just grateful that I was able to lift the curse. I'm pretty sure he thinks himself in my debt so he tries to be nice to me. No big deal."

He could see that she didn't believe in her own words. _No big deal _his ass.

"Is it so hard to believe that he likes you and asked you simply because he wants to go with you?" Remus asked softly and he would have laughed at the disbelieving look in her eyes, hadn't it been so sad that she had no self-confidence at all, when it came to her person.

"Hermione, you are a kind, intelligent and beautiful young woman who in their right mind wouldn't want to go out with you? I'm sure that it has nothing to do with gratefulness."

The look in her eyes was getting uncertain, like the rest of her. She was still biting her lip and twiddling with the end of her sleeves. "You really think so?"

The tone of her voice hurt his heart. What had they done to that marvellous woman in front of him, that she couldn't see her own worth?

"Lavender said that he could have anyone he wanted and that he's only nice to me because of what I did and that he is taking pity on me," she whispered miserably.

Ah, so the stupid blonde was the cause behind this.

"I didn't believe her at first for obvious reasons," Hermione snorted and he could only grin at that. "But then, well she's right. Nearly every girl in this school is going crazy over him and...and...why would he want to spend time with me when he could spend it with _them_?"

"But he asked you out not one of the others, has he not?"

"Out of pity!"

"Hermione," sighing he sat down beside her and took her hands in his. "I've got no idea why you can't see it but you are a beautiful person. Inside and out and you should have a little more faith in yourself. I'm sure whatever Fawkes reasons are to ask you out it has nothing to do with pity or a mistaken sense of guilt."

Torn between her doubts and her wish to believe him Hermione continued to torment her bottom lip. "Really?"

"Really, Hermione. I tell you something. Why don't you leave Teddy in my care tomorrow and enjoy your day? Just give him a chance. Who knows maybe you will be surprised."

It was clear to see that she was still struggling with herself but finally he heard her sigh and he knew that he had won this argument.

"Fine I...I will," she finally agreed and he could only hope that Nathaniel Fawkes possessed enough intelligence to realise what a treasure Hermione Granger really was. Would things be different or he twenty years younger he would know what he would do. But things were like they were and there was nothing that could change who he was and what he had been through.

For him it was too late but Hermione's life had just begun and he wished it to be a happy and fulfilling one with someone at her side who worshipped her the way she deserved.

* * *

Hermione stared at him in awe.

"What?" Fawkes asked amused and she could only shake her head.

"It's just nice to know that there are men who don't talk about Quidditch all the time and likewise seem to understand what I'm talking about."

"You said that before."

"Well, it's true," she confirmed and smiled. Until now she hadn't regret her decision to give it a try like Remus had suggested. Nathaniel had appeared pleasantly surprised, when she had told him that they would spend their day without Teddy and promised her to not let her down. And he hadn't. Charming like ever he offered her his arm to guided her to Hogsmeade while they talked about Hogwarts and how it had changed since he had been a student here. That had been nearly three-hundred years ago. Quite a while even in the wizarding world.

There were a lot of things the books didn't mention and Hermione was all to eager to hear more about his time and life.

She was more than a little surprised to hear that he had been a Slytherin but the longer she thought about it the more it fitted him. He was intelligent, sharp-witted and cunning, all attributes which were typical for Slytherin. Not to forget he was a Pureblood and much too complex to be sorted into Ravenclaw. Oddly enough she didn't mind. After the time she had spent with Draco she had come to realise that Slytherin produced some of the most interesting talking partners. Fawkes was no difference. He could easily hold a conversation about every topic they had talked about so far and underlined it with facts and well placed arguments.

It had been one of the reasons she had enjoyed his company in the first place after the curse had been broken. Of course his good looks didn't hurt either but on the other hand they had been the cause of her doubts as much as his charming personality that could certainly win over almost every witch.

Their conversation floated easily and Hermione was shocked to realise how much time had passed, when he asked her if she would mind some food and a warm butter beer.

He helped her out of her coat, put out her chair and asked her what she would like before he ordered for the two of them. His manners were a pleasantly alternation to Harry's and Ron's attitude. And he didn't disappoint her in the following hour. Their talk shifted to the war and her role in it without getting to deep into the subject. Like he wasn't too keen to talk about the circumstances of his curse she didn't like to discuss what happened to her during her time in Malfoy manor or the final battle. Their topic shifted quickly to a more harmless one.

"What do you want to do when you're finished with your NEWTS?" he asked.

Well, maybe the change of topic wasn't as good as she thought.

Sighing she shrugged her shoulders and leant back in her chair. "I always wanted to work as a healer or at a Ministry which takes charges of the rights of people or creatures who are not able to help themselves. I always wanted to make a change, you know help others and make a difference."

"What changed?"

"Me," she admitted frustrated. "The war changed a lot of things. Don't get me wrong I would still like to help people but after all that happened I'm not sure if I want to work for the Ministry. Deep down they don't want to change and I suppose...well I think I could achieve more without them." Ever since her fifth year her opinion about the Ministry had changed drastically and although they were trying to start anew, Hermione knew it would not be enough in the end.

Or maybe she had just lost her silly childhood illusion of revolutionising the system from the inside. The wizard world was an archaic system that was working far more slowly than the muggle world. Dramatical changes were rare and dreaded.

"And for working as a healer," she continued. "I've seen enough sorrow and death for two lives, I'm not sure if I would be strong enough to work in this field."

As she looked at him, she noticed that he watched her with a thoughtful expression, as if he was trying to figure something out. Finally his usual smile returned but his eyes were sincerely as he leant forward and took one of her hands in his. His hand was pleasantly warm and and made it truly hard to concentrate on his next words.

"Although I don't know you as good as I wish I'm quite sure that isn't true. From all what I've seen and heard till today you're on of the strongest persons there are."

She actually blushed at his compliment and hurriedly lowered her head.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Act as if you don't deserve a compliment."

That only caused to deepen the blush. "Uhm...uh...it's not..." Hermione stuttered and cringed inwardly at her stupid behaviour. "I guess I'm just not used to it." Least of all from someone as Nathaniel Fawkes she thought.

"Well, that's a shame!" he argued and actually looked angry about it. "You're a beautiful, intelligent and kind woman. Someone like you should be showered in compliments. It seems that some things changed since I was a human but obviously not for the better."

By now her face was so hot that she feared to burn on the spot. She must look ridiculous but all Nathaniel did was taking her hand to his mouth and brush a kiss to her knuckles.

"Don't worry, princess, I intent to compliment you every chance I get."

"Why do you always call me that?" Curiosity finally got over her embarrassment and she watched him closely as she asked him.

"Cause you are my princess. My fairy princess." Something stuck her odd with his answer but she supposed it was just her self-insecurity about the nickname he used on her ever since she had awoken out of her unconsciousness. Although she wouldn't admit it, she secretly loved the name because it reminded her of her dreams.

Her beautiful dream. These days all that she was called in her dreams was _filthy mudblood. _Hermione shuddered simply by thinking about it and pushed it quickly to the side. Her day was too nice to destroy it by a hurtful memory.

But it didn't take long for Hermione to understand that it didn't need her dream to destroy that. They had just left the little pub and lingered from one shop to the other when a bunch of seventh year witches approached them.

"Nathan," gushed one of them. A pretty blonde with large blue eyes and much to snug fitting clothes in Hermione's eyes. The familiarity in which the witch spoke to Fawkes didn't relish her in the slightest and she was even less happy about the smile on his face as he looked at _her_.

"How are you? We missed you terrible this afternoon," a tall redhead pouted sweetly and was backed up from the other three witches which all looked at him as if he was candy on two legs.

All Slytherins she presumed from her style and attitude. The haughty looks and sneers in her direction only fuelled her guess.

"Oh, I'm sorry ladies but I told you that I wouldn't make it," Fawkes apologised charmingly.

"Maybe you can make it up to us?"

"I live to serve," he laughed warmly but it didn't hold the same effect on her like before.

Hermione suddenly wished nothing more than to be somewhere else. The four beautiful woman had successfully managed to surround Fawkes and exclude her from their circle. But worst of all was that Nathaniel didn't even seem to notice. Still stunned from the sudden change of events she watched him laugh and flirt with the girls with a facility that bothered her. Blinking a few times didn't help, the image before her didn't change. Her stupor however vanished quickly.

How could she have been so stupid? Lavender had been right all a long she was nothing to him but an annoying duty. In his presence she always felt so special and cherished that her common sense seemed to leave her as quickly as her dignity.

But not any more she swore to herself. With a last look on the laughing and flirting group she turned around and left. Ignoring the hurtful stab she felt inside she banned all tears out of her eyes. She wouldn't allow him or one of this stupid hussies to make her cry. Sometimes Hermione had a feeling that she had cried far more since the war ended than in the years before and she asked herself if she had more reason to do so or if she simply allowed her defensive walls to weaken too much? But deep down inside she knew that it was none of it. The simple truth was that it had never been her friends before that made her so miserable or people she wished to become more than that she thought sadly and looked over her shoulder. Only to witness how Fawkes smiled brightly at the witches without noticing her absence.

Her heart ached but she ignored it.

* * *

High above in his favourite tower of Hogwarts the figure of professor Dumbledore watched a deeply hurt Hermione walk back to the castle. He had seen her leaving it earlier today on the arm of his good old friend and knew all too clearly what must have happened.

Maybe he was old but surely not dim-witted.

"Oh, Fawkes my friend," he sighed. "Haven't three-hundred years taught you nothing?"

TBC

* * *

A/N: So here is your update.

As I said before it will take some time for these two and really where would be the fun if it would be easy? And let's not forget Nathaniel might have spend some time as a bird...but deep down he is and was a man and they operate after a special scheme...and lets face it ladies...sometimes this scheme is odd!

I hope you like it so far and let me hear your thoughts...I will listen^^

xxxShanxxx

preciousteddybear, cjewellm, timerose: Thank you^^

Molly Goode: Well, Ron isn't one of my favourite characters so there is little hope for him...^^

Mistress Samantha: Yes there are lot of Dramiones out there and I can understand why. They have the potential to be more. But I think they could be really good friends if they were given the chance. Draco needs someone who would stand by his side and Hermione needs someone with a little more wit and brain who can live through her temper. ^^

soubifan700: yes...Luna and Draco...somehow I find them fitting.^^ And a coockie for your review :-)

Hypnotized Angle: I never give up. I can't promise that it will be an update every week but I will definately finish this story.


	6. 13 December 16 December

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

Chapter 6:

_13. December – 16. December_

„_And who is this beautiful lady?" Nathaniel asked with a bright smile and let his eyes roam quickly over her body. She was dressed in fitting blue robes which complimented her petite form and brought out the colour of her eyes. She was a pretty thing. Not a beauty like some of the women he knew but nice enough to look at and her shy nature was nice for a change. Most witches, though not shamelessly forward possessed an unbecoming clingy nature. This one was different. _

"_Anabelle, Lord Fawkes." She was barely able to look him in the eyes without blushing which only widened his smile._

"_Ah, my name is Nathaniel, little Belle. Lord Fawkes is my father and every time someone calls me that it makes me look over my shoulder to make sure they mean me and not father who's standing behind me." _

_Just like he hoped she smiled shyly at him which made him wonder if he hadn't fooled himself. She was beautiful. The tiny smile lid up her whole face in the most fascinating way and he asked himself what a full could do to her. Instantly he vowed to find out._

_Normally it wouldn't be hard for him. Nathaniel was quite proud to say that he knew his way around a lady. In public and more so behind closed doors. But Anabelle's overly shy behaviour made things a little more complicated -or interesting as his father had put it. _

_Well he wasn't too keen at first, when his father had told him that he would have to entertain the daughter of one of his business partners. Mostly they were snotty little princesses with none existing humour and often enough the looks of a troll. But Miss Henderson was a pleasant surprise. _

"_Do you care for a dance?" _

"_I would love to!" she answered eagerly before her cheeks burned red again. _

"_You like to dance, little Belle?" he asked and saw her nod. "Don't be embarrassed, it would be my pleasure to be at your service." _

With a loud gasped he woke.

"Shit!"

Hadn't he be been through enough? Was it really necessary to dream about the past?

Still breathing hard he pulled his bedsheets aside and walked over to the bathroom. Dumbledore had provided him with a little apartment, much like the ones the teachers lived in. But it was nothing like the grand house of his youth, with endless rooms and baths big enough to hide a ship in there. Maybe it was time to look after his manor. As far as he knew his line had died with his father who didn´t have more children after what happened to him. Albus told him that nobody else was able to claim the fortune and possessions of his family. He should probably make some arrangements with Gringott's and soon. Until now he had been so fixed on other things that he didn't even waste a thought about it.

Other things, he snorted and splashed some water into his face. The only thing that plagued his mind at the moment was a pretty little witch with a wicked temper.

Hermione Granger and she wouldn't even look at him, let alone talk to him at the moment, regardless how often he said he was sorry. And god he had countless time.

Gods damn it he was such a fool. One moment he was spending an amazing time with the witch in Hogsmeade and in the next she disappeared. And worst of all it was his fault. Nathaniel thought nothing of it when the four witches had approached them. Of course he had talked to them. More an act of courtesy than the wish to be in their presence, but...bloody hell, he didn't even notice that she left before one of the witches had smiled sweetly at him and told him _now that the ugly mudblood cow realised where her place is, how about we have a drink together. _He needed a moment to realise that she was talking about Hermione and spun around to look for her. But she was gone. Simply vanished and he had been too engrossed with the stupid flirting witches to notice.

"_Don't worry the mudblood won't bother you again. Why she would think that she's more than a pity project is beyond me,_" the black haired witch added with a smile and probably thought she was helpful. His head had snapped towards her but instead of a smile an ugly expression contorted his face and all four of them carefully took a step away from him.

"_Never call her that again!" _His voice had been icy enough to put a spark of fear in their eyes but he hadn't cared. In fact he would have hexed her instantly would he have been in the possession of a wand. _"And pity is the last thing on my mind when I spend time with Hermione!"_

"_But...but...that's what they- they.."_ one of them had stuttered.

"_Who?" _

The blonde had the audacity to shrug her shoulders as if it was just fine. _"Rumour has it that you only spend time with Granger because she saved you and you pity her. She may be a war heroine but she's still a prude little know it all. Who in their right mind would want her?" _

The sneer on her face slowly faded when she was confronted with the pure rage in his eyes.

"_Me!" _

"_Well, for someone who is so interested in her, you don't give her much of your attention, now do you?"_ It was the first time the little black haired girl had opened her mouth and he wished she hadn't. Because unfortunately she had been right.

Frustrated about himself and the whole situation he gripped the brink of the basin and forced himself to take a few deep breaths. First things first.

His curse had been lifted over a month ago and he had done nothing to sort out his life. What witch would want a wizard who didn't even possess a wand? Sure she was the reason he was too distracted to go to Ollivander's and purchase a new one, but still.

Slowly he lifted his head and watched himself in the mirror. He looked exactly the same as the day he had the been cursed. Same chestnut coloured hair, same piercing green eyes and even the same toned skin although it hadn't seen the sun for quite some time. Nathaniel was good looking and honest enough to know that he was somewhat vain, too. In his time he was seen as quite a catch and not only because of his social standing. So if he wanted Hermione to see him the way he wanted her to see him, he had to change and organise a few things.

_A new wand. _

_A meeting with the goblins in Gringott's to check on his vaults. _

_New robes and he should find some time to visit Fawkes Manor._

Yes, that was what he should do. And after he had put himself together he could start to pursue Hermione again. He would find a way to show her that he was sorry and then he wouldn't make the same mistake again. It had taken him so long to find her, he wouldn't allow anyone to ruin it, least of all himself. So with a last glance into the mirror he pushed himself away from the brink and started to undress himself.

A nice hot shower was always the best way to start a day and if he wanted to impress a special witch he couldn't start it early enough.

* * *

Diagon Alley hadn't changed much since his last visit. Sure there were new shops and others had closed up for good but all in all it was the same. The most famous locations like _Gringott's,_ _Ollivander's_ and _The Leaky Cauldron_ looked like the moment Fawkes last stepped in. _Madame Malkin's_ and _Flourish & Bott's_ appeared bigger and a bit more colourful than in the past, while Knockturn Alley remained faithful to its name.

Some of the shops, like _Weasley`s Wizard Wheezes_ were completely alien to him. Though the funny decorated entrance made him curious. Maybe after he was done with business he would find some time to explore this shop.

Where should he go first? He was a little torn between Gringott's and Ollivander's but in the end the bank won over. How should he purchase a wand without a single knut in his pocket? Though the Ollivander family had always been nice, he didn't doubt that he would leave the shop with empty hands.

So Gringott's it was.

Going through the high entrance hall he noticed with some satisfaction that nothing had changed here. Everyone was still in a rush to complete their business and with all the witches and wizards running around or following one of the goblins it appeared that chaos broke loose. Nathaniel smiled at the scenery before him and took a deep breath. Even the smell was like he remembered it.

Count on the goblins to handle things in a timeless way.

For a moment he remained in one of the corners and simply watched the going-ones around him before he finally decided to approach one of the goblins himself. As a child, when he had accompanied his father, the little creatures had given him the creeps. Mostly because of the way they looked down from their high desks and their sullen appearance. Somehow that feeling never left him completely. Even after three-hundred years.

"How may I help you today?"

"I wish to enter my vault," he answered the goblin who looked extremely old, not that he had ever been good in assessing their age.

"Name?" He drawled and Nathaniel could feel himself straiten at the question.

"Nathaniel Fawkes."

That surely got an reaction out of him, even if it was only his quill that stopped in its movement. "Headmaster Dumbledore informed us about your... recurrence."

That bit of information was new to him. Albus had made arrangements for him? Well he couldn't say that it didn't facilitate the whole process.

"Have you identification?"

For a moment he was at a loss, but then the most obvious solution hit him. "I presume that a drop of my blood will still open the vault?"

"Very well!" For some reasons the goblin didn't look happy with his answer, which Fawkes took as a good sign. It probably had something to do with the amount of money in his vault, which wouldn't remain untouched now that he was back.

The creature behind the desk clapped in his hands and another goblin approached him. "Bendridge will take you to your vaults." The older goblin whispered some instruction in his ear before the other one nodded and looked him in the eye.

"If you would follow me please, Mr. Fawkes."

With a nod he did as he was told and a few minutes later after a longer ride with the cart than he remembered and what confused him more, passed another dragon than he remembered, he stood in front of his family vault.

"If you would identify yourself, please," Bendridge drawled and pointed at a small dent at the side of the massive door. Without hesitating Fawkes put his fingers inside and tried not to contort his face as he pierced his finger on the sharp razor that was hidden inside. One of his forefathers had found it a splending idea to safeguard their vaults with blood magic. Something that wasn't allowed any longer but remained for those whose vaults already possessed this function. But he couldn't deny that it came in handy for him given the circumstances.

A moment later the door opened but before he had time to let out a relieved breath a new problem manifested itself in front of him. Merlin, how could he have forgotten _it?_ Suppressing a groan he cursed his family´s paranoia inwardly and looked right into the eyes of the sphinx that guarded his vault in the inside. All his treasures were hidden by the creatures magic and would only been revealed when he answered a riddle correctly.

"_Welcome home wizard. You deserted me for a while." _It -she- spoke in a raspy voice and shook her lion's mane in displeasure.

"I'm sure you used the time well," he answered and watched with worry as her lips turned up into a smile while and she walked slowly towards him. As a child he had loved to visit the vaults because of this creature. Nathaniel liked riddles and no one was better in asking them, than a sphinx. Now he could only hope that he was still good at them.

"_I remember you, you liked my riddles." _

Bendridge who was standing beside him, was nervously eyeing the creature and took a step back. He couldn't blame him that he was afraid. Sphinxes were dangerous when angered and most annoying to those whose vaults they guarded if the witch or the wizard weren't able to solve their riddle. She would simply deny him access to his own vaults and he had really no plan whose ridiculous idea it was to put her in here. But things were as they were and he couldn't change them.

"Yes, I did. And I promise from now on you will get more chances to ask your riddles." His statement seemed to annoy the goblin and delight the sphinx likewise. That was if one could call the scraping sounds of claws over the ground a sign of anticipation.

"_Very well, wizard are you ready to hear your riddle?" _After a firm nod from him she continued. "_What falls but doesn't break and what breaks but doesn't fall?" _

She continued to walk around but seemed to notice that the sound of her claws bothered him so she sat down right in front of him. As if that would help him to think clearer, he thought and snorted inwardly. Instead he closed his eyes and repeated her words in his head. Normally their riddles were tricky but easy when you stopped thinking too complex. Maybe that was the reason he had been so good at this as a child.

_Fall but doesn't break? Break but doesn't fall? _It cost him a few minutes but finally he opened his eyes and grinned only to find the sphinx staring at him with her head crocked to the side.

"The night and the day. The answer is night and day."

She regarded him firmly for a few seconds more but finally bowed her head.

"_Very well wizard. Until we meet again!" _

And with that she vanished and the treasures of his family appeared. Sighing deeply he looked around and his eyes got bigger and bigger with with every second. Well at least there was a reason for all the trouble.

* * *

Half an hour later he was standing in front of Ollivander's and felt as if he was eleven again and purchasing his first wand. Nathaniel had really no idea what had happened to the one he had called his own during the time he was cursed.

Restraining his excitement he opened the door and walked into the faintly illuminated shop. The rich smell of wood and leather filled his nose and made him smile. Everywhere around him where boxes with wands piled up so high that they nearly reached the roof. The sales counter appeared somehow lost in the middle of the room. The door closed with a click behind him and not a second later a white haired wizard appeared from the back of the shop.

"How may I help you?" He had a friendly voice and though his looks seemed a bit inordinate his movements were confident and strong.

"I wish to purchase a new wand."

"Of course, of course!" The old man nodded with a smile and took something out of his pockets. "Well.. then I have to measure you, if that would be alright with you?"

"Of course," Nathaniel nodded and was reminded again how many years had passed, since he had last stepped into this shop. Mr. Ollivander was known to never forget a wand he had sold but it wasn't this Ollivander that had provided him with his first wand.

The old man instructed him to extend his hands and went to work.

"Hmm, mmm," he mumbled and focused his silver eyes on him. "May I ask what your former wand was made of?"

"Mahogany, 11¾ " veela hair." Some things one could never forget.

"I see," the wandmaker seemed not convinced. "Ah well, let's start with this..." And with that he walked over to one of the piles and took a box from the middle. Astonishingly without letting the rest crash to the floor.

"Oak, 12 ½", heartstring."

Eagerly he grasped the wand and tried a simple spell. "Lumos!"

The next moment both he and Mr. Ollivander were ducking their heads from the exploding glass of the lustre above them.

"No, no...defiantly not."

For the next forty minutes he was trying wand after wand.

Small ones and large ones.

Wands made from wood out of oak, mahogany, vine and holly and with a lot of different objects used for the magical core.

Dragon- and sphinxhearts. Hairs from Veela as well as from Unicorns and even Theastraes but not one of them even felt right in his hands. By now he was glad that his vaults were filled up to the roof after all the damage he had caused in the little shop.

He was one of the _more difficult clients _as Mr. Ollivander so kindly called it.

"Don't despair Mister," the old wandmaker started but interrupted himself as he noticed that he had no idea how his customer's name was. Fawkes smiled a little sheepishly.

"Excuse my bad manners, Mr. Ollivander. I was simply excited to get a new wand. My name is Nathaniel Fawkes."

The man's eyes became big as saucers. "Mr. Fawkes. You can't believe what an honour it is to have you in my shop. My good old friend Albus informed me of course about the circumstances of your," he faltered. "well of the curse."

Fawkes nodded. After the not so subtle curse breaking in the middle of the great hall under the eyes of all the chatty students there was probably no one who didn´t hear about it. The Daily Prophet had send him dozens of letters in which he was asked for an interview. Not that they needed his statement to write some rubbish about him. He had read one or two articles in which they speculated about the reason he was cursed but not one of the theories came even close to the truth.

"I had never had the chance to thank you for providing me with two of your feathers and I'm truly sorry that one of them was used for such dark proposes."

"It's alright, Mr. Ollivander. I think it's safe to say that the other one was used for the right intentions and helped a great deal in fighting the Dark Lord."

"Yes, that is true. But now, with all I know about your person I might have an idea. Yew," he muttered. "Yes, definitely yew. And...ah yes. Rare but fitting."

Nathaniel watched him flicking his own wand to summon a box from somewhere high above them. He had really no idea how he could remember the exact place for every wand he ever made.

"Here it is. Yew, 12" Abraxan hair."

"Abraxan?" He asked in awe and hesitantly reached for the wand, fearing that it would be another failure.

"Oh, yes, yes. It's not very common and most wands made out of it are surely still in the possession of their maker. The witch or wizard such a wand would choose would be much like the formidable horses itself. Hard to tame but with a good heart." Ollivander informed him. "One would need a strong will to use it."

"Well, lets see if this one will remain with is maker or choose to stay with me."

The instant he put his fingers around the wood he knew this one was different than the others. It felt somehow right, as if it was part of his body. Just the way a wand was supposed to feel. He flicked it in a soft movement and wanted to laugh out loudly as red and golden sparks flew out of it.

"Brilliant," the wandmaker commented and seemed almost as happy that his wand had found an owner as he himself was. With a flick of his new wand the broken lustre repaired itself and flew up to its former position and the rest of the chaos he entailed vanished with another movement.

"Perfect!" he sighed and stared in awe down on his new wand. "How much do I owe you, Mr. Ollivander for such a formidable work?"

"Nothing!"

"But-"

"No, no. It's rightfully yours and after your beautiful _donation _in the past, the least I can do is to provide you with a new wand."

Nathaniel hesitated for a moment but finally nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

Happy with a new wand he left the shop a few minutes later, thinking about his list and what was left to do. One look down his form answered his question.

Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

It took nearly two hours to purchase the things he found necessary which was surely a bit more than most people found necessary. But a wizard did never know what occasion may arise and he wanted to be prepared and most of all he wanted to impress a special witch. So why not start with his outfit. He had the money and didn't hesitate to thank Madame Malkin's with a fat bonus for her good work who graced him with a big smile and promised him to send his other things as fast as possible to his quarters in Hogwarts.

So two hours later he left the shop in a beautiful set of green and black robes which were dressy but not too formal. He felt like a new wizard and was just about to walk down the road when a shop to his right caught his eyes. _Lacroix -beautiful handwork since 923 A.D. _

His mother had loved this jeweller shop, much to the distress of his father who had never been able to refuse her request. The price of the cheapest things in there was still a little fortune but Nathaniel had to admit that it was always worth it. Be it because of the formidable work or the reaction it usually caused from the witch who was gifted with it.

With a sly grin he walked over and entered the shop. It was already the 16th of December and where to get a better present for the witch than here? Every witch loved jewels and he was sure that Hermione was no different deep down. Of course he knew for her love of books but so did every one else. His present was meant to stand out from all others and he wouldn't achieve that with a book.

The older gentleman behind the counter gave him a once-over before he graced him with an approving smile. "Good day Monsieur, how may I help you today?" His voice was like the man itself, ancient and a little bit stiff but it shouldn't matter. He wasn't here because of the staff.

"I'm looking for a present for a special lady."

"Of course. And may I ask if you've already an idea what it should be or are you undetermined in which direction it should go?"

"Oh, I'm open for everything," he assured and looked over the display in front of him, which showed a lot of different rings and amulets. "Though I think she's much too young for brooches and rings are for other occasions as my mother thought me." He added with a grin and the man nodded in understanding. "Other than that, I hope for something elegant and classic. Not too flashy." He doubted that Hermione would appreciate what most witches would go for. So the overly big stones and colliers wouldn't do. "Oh, and money is not an object."

That were definitely the right words to say as was his decision to buy the new robes cause it underlined his statement as true. Money was no object for him.

Monsieur Lacroix, Nathaniel was sure he was the owner of this shop, because he knew every piece of jewellery down to its components and where they came from was extremely helpful and showed him a great variety of necklaces, bracelets, medallions, chokers, earrings and tiaras. In the end he was torn between a delicate diamond necklace that possessed a tendril design and a silver medallion with a small but beautiful shaped sapphire, which was Hermione's birthstone as the gentleman assured him. He would have loved to gift her with something in his house colours but Ravenclaw blue was all right, too.

"If you would allow, Monsieur?" the clerk asked and he nodded not quite sure what to do. "If you want to give your lady a piece that she could wear every day you should go for the medallion. It would also allow you to engrave it with something special. The necklace on the other hand is a little more elegant and not necessary for every day occasions."

Nathaniel looked at the man and thought he had quite a point there. He _wanted _Hermione to wear something from him every day. And the thought of engraving it hadn't even crossed his mind but was to his appeal. But he would love to see the necklace around her neck sometime.

"I will take both. There's always a reason to give your witch some nice jewellery," he finally decided and Monsieur Lacroix had obviously served enough rich wizards to simply nod without battering an eye.

"Very well. May I ask if there is something you wish to engrave on the medallion?"

"Yes, there is and is it possible to enchant the medallion to play a special melody every time it's opened?" he asked as an idea suddenly stuck him. "And would a memory be enough for you to work with?" Obviously his wish wasn't quite as normal as a simple engraving but the man nodded nonetheless.

"Of course. I have a pensive in the back room that you could use."

"Wonderful!"

Ten minutes later he had given him the memory together with the lines he wished to be engraved on the medallion and made Monsieur Lacroix promise him to deliver both pieces of jewellery to Hogwarts in the next two days. His vault was shaken down for a scandalous sum but it was worth it. Nathaniel couldn't remember a time where he had given so much thought about a gift but he found that it was amusing and he reminded himself to do it more often.

So now there was only one point left on his to do list. Fawkes Manor.

There was a reason he had put it on the end of his list. It always possessed a great number of safety appliance, even when he was alive. His family tended to be a pit paranoid when it came to possessions and money. Not to forget they had been quite inventive in their ways to protect it. In his lifetime there had been several wards that only allowed registered persons or family members to enter the Manor. Nearly everything had been blood bounded and the ground was also guarded by creatures that only obeyed the master of the Manor and his blood relatives if he wasn't present.

He really hoped that it wasn't another sphinx, though he hoped to find the herd of Sleipnirs still there. The eight legged black horses that could glide through the air as easily as run over the ground had always been his favourite animal. His father had given his mother one of the last pairs as a bridal gift and under her care there soon arose a growing herd. The first born stallion-Nox was given to him and he had loved him above all others. If they were still on the grounds it was possible to find Nox there. Sleipnirs could get very old much like Unicorns and they could speak.

Well, communicate was the better word for it and usually it only happened if they had contact with humans from an early date. Merlin, he really hoped Nox was still there.

As for the guardians he guessed he would have to face one or two Hippogriffs, at least he hoped it would only be Hippogriffs. A line of other creatures passed his mind but not one of them awoke the wish in him to cross it.

He decided to take a short break in one of the new little cafeterias and was pleasantly surprised about the quality of the foot and enjoyed the rich aroma of tea and coffee that filled the air. It gave the shop a homey and comfortable flair and it was easy for him to relax for a while and arrange his thoughts.

The Fawkes family home was located on the Isle of Skye on the west coast of Scotland and although it was normally no problem to apparate there he wasn't sure if his magical skills weren't a little bit too rusty to try travel this way. It was no fun to be sliced in two halves or end in the middle of a solid wall because he landed on the wrong spot. He was sure of it.

Maybe he should ask Albus if he knew someone on the Isle, so he could travel by floo. He looked at the watch and made a face. It would cost him more time then he could afford but he wasn't overly keen to risk his life, so floo was the only other option.

Then an idea stuck him and he hurried to pay his bill. Maybe, just maybe, he was lucky enough to find the Leaky Cauldron connected with some other pubs. In his youth there had been an old pup _The purple Pixie _not too far away from his manor, located in the nearest town. Given how slow-going the magical world was, Nathaniel was sure the pub was still there and intact.

* * *

Today had to be his lucky day, given that everything he hoped for had happened so far. The Leaky Cauldron did not only possess an open floo channel to the Isle of Skye that he could use he had also found a friendly old witch who was willing to apparate him as near to his manor as she dared. Of course there had been questions but he shrugged them off as good as possible. Nathaniel knew sooner or later the truth would come out but for now he had other things on his mind.

The witch had told him that the manor was cursed, which was true depending from which angel on was looking at things. For him it should be safe and it wasn't fear that stopped him in his tracks as he was now standing in front of the gates of his family home. There were all sorts of emotions running through him at the moment. Excitement, happiness but also sadness, bitterness and anger. So many things had happened in these walls and although he longed to go back he wasn't so sure any longer if it had been a good idea to come here.

Sighing deeply he gripped his wand. No, he had come this far he wouldn't back off now. Nathaniel realised that he wouldn't come around apparating in, after he tried to open the gates a few fruitless times. Well, apparating to a point not so far away and one he could clearly see from where he was standing shouldn't be too difficult. Gritting his teeth and sending a short prayer to every god that was willing to hear him he flicked his wand and instantly felt the nauseous pull as well as the slight tingling feeling that was caused by the wards of the manor.

Carefully he opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find himself whole and intact although not quite on the spot he had in mind when he moved his wand.

"At least I'm in," he muttered and vowed to train a little more after he was finished here. His skills _were _a little bit rusty which was no wonder after the amount of time he had to go without a wand. Looking around he noticed that he was standing on one of the giant lawns that surrounded his estate and he decided to walk towards the door instead of apparanting there. Safe was safe.

The main path to the front door was cleared of all weeds and as smooth as on the day he last walked over it. In fact it appeared to be in a perfect state, so did the whole estate. Obviously the elves had never left it and still cared for it with the same devotion and eagerness like ever before. He would have to mention that at one time. Though he found house-elves to be a bit over dramatic at times they sure knew who do their work.

Slowly strolling forward Nathaniel enjoyed the beauty around with a spark of happiness and wonder as he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

"No!" he whispered. "That's impossible." There right behind one of the fountains he could see a golden haired woman. But it was not just any woman, it was the same that plagued his dreams since he was back in his human form. Without even thinking about it he started to run towards her, his wand was gripped tightly in his hand and his legs protested about the sudden action. All the while his mind was screaming at him that it was impossible. That she couldn't be here.

By now he was near enough to see the sad smile on her lips and he knew...he just knew that the look in her eyes would be reproachful and accusingly but he couldn't stop himself from running. It was like an invisible force pulled him towards her, regardless how much he cringed inside.

Only a few more steps and he would reach her but all of the sudden she turned around, apparently with the intention to run away but in the last minute he was able to grasp her. Or at least he thought so. In the end all his hand managed to catch was air.

"What...," Nathaniel stuttered bemused only to jump back as she _-it _turned around. Surprised he gasped but it seemed there wasn't enough air to fill his lunges.

"Nathaniel!" Her voice was the still how he remembered it. Soft and feminine but that wasn't what shocked him. It was her face. Her skin was much too pale, her eyes hollow and her lips no longer possessed their lush pink colour but showed an unhealthy blue dyeing.

Fawkes had no idea how he got into this situation or what this situation was exactly but it was all too much at once and he stumbled backwards. Unfortunately the fountain was in his way and he slipped rather ungallantly. He tried to get a hold on the stone but all it did was that he scraped his hand on the rough surface and spilled blood over it.

Like a reflex the fingers on his right hand took a firmer hold on his wand but before he could even think about the next best spell something odd happened.

The woman -_she-it..._Nathaniel wasn't sure what was the correct title vanished and in it's place another creature appeared and suddenly some things became quite clear.

The petite, fluffy animal in front of him was a white fox.

_And where one is...there are always others. _

As if to confirm his suspicions another one appeared in his field of vision and after it more and more till he was confronted with at least twenty of the magical creatures.

Merlin, he would rather deal with sphinxes and manticores than a pack of white foxes. His father had to be slightly retarded to bring them here to safeguard the grounds. Not that they were not efficient as he had learned the hard way just now. But there was a reason why these creatures were avoided.

Slightly cursing his family's obsession with guarding everything to an ridiculous extend he sat up and lifted himself on his feet again. The foxes didn't move an inch, every single of them was sitting dutifully in front of him and looked at him with a pair of red eyes.

They were known for their exceptional sense of smell and his blood must have told them who he was. Merlin, Mordred and Morganna be blessed for his cut! He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if they hadn't refrained from playing with his mind.

The little magical creatures were famous for her ability to play tricks with the minds of their victims. People would suddenly start to see things. Mostly horrible events from their past, their deepest fears or other rather disturbing things. An unusual high rate of suicides, aggressive attacks and mental insanity had been recorded in context with these animals and his still shaking hands reminded him that it was the bitter truth.

Shuddering he fixed his eyes on them and tried to compose himself without much success. His blood was still dipping from his fingers but he didn't dare to close the wound before he hadn't the chance to clarify a few things.

"I'm Lord Nathaniel Fawkes, son of Oberon Fawkes, heir of the Fawkes title and everything that belongs to that." He spoke with as much dignity as he could muster and tried not to feel like an complete idiot for talking like that to a pack of foxes. "Here is my blood to prove it!" With that he spilled some of the blood in their direction. All of their noses turned instantly to the point where it had landed and the air was suddenly filled with the sound of sniffing before each of them looked back at him without another movement. Obviously he had passed the test.

"I am your master and I forbid you to ever play your tricks on me again. Although you will answer to my wishes, therefore I will allow you to live on my grounds and hunt in the forest. To remind you of the finer details I will later speak to your packmaster," with that he looked at the white fox nearest to him. "For now you may leave!"

As if they had only waited to hear those words they jumped onto their legs again and stormed off.

"Merlin help me!" Groaning he leant himself against the fountain and looked over to the Main house. He could only hope that there wouldn't be more surprises of this kind.

* * *

Two and a half hours later he allowed himself to sink into the massive leather seat in his father's library. The elves had lightened a fire for him and he was just staring into the flames when he heard a familiar _Plop _beside him and ripped him out of his stupor.

"Tilly is bringing master his drink."

"Thank you, Tilly," he sighed and filled the glass on the little table in front of him with the golden colour liquid from the carafe. Four-hundred year old fire whisky, he really earned himself a glass of it. Maybe even two or three.

"Is there anything else, Tilly can do for her master?" The little elf asked eagerly but he shook his head.

"No, Tilly. That was all for now." And with another _Plop _she vanished. With deep satisfaction he took a big gulp out of the glass and enjoyed the tingling burn it left in his throat. Yes, that was exactly what he needed.

Much to his relief there had only been a few lesser problems he had to deal with. There was nothing a drop of his blood or a few firm words couldn't put in order. The house-elves had been euphoric to have him back and his ears were still tinkling from their high pitched squeals which only raised in high as he praised them for their good work in his absence.

There were about a dozen of them and he assured them that he wouldn't throw them out which seemed to be a great fear to them. As if he would! He had no idea how he would manage without them. Nathaniel wasn't even sure where the kitchen was. After their fears had been eased, they had been able to answer a lot of his questions. In the end he got a good idea about the state his manor was in and which things needed his attention.

The floo had to be reconnected to the network and the kitchen needed to be restocked. He needed to clear the finer things with the foxes and had to look out for the Sleipnirs. Which, to his great pleasure, were still there but hadn't seen a human soul since his father had died. Furthermore he was told that there was a growing pack of wolves in the forest that wasn't as easily tamed by the foxes as they once had been and one or two Sleipnirs had been lost to them.

Other than that there was not much to do. Maybe a new decoration in the main rooms, a few new paintings and a fresh colour. But there was no need to do that just now. He still hadn't strolled through every room and it wasn't his biggest concern at the moment.

Now that he had reclaimed what was his and was sitting in front of the same fireplace he had looked at nearly tree-hundred years ago his thoughts drifted towards Hermione again.

The day after tomorrow the Christmas holidays would start and he had yet no idea where she would spent her holiday. For a second he thought about to invite her over but he knew she would never say yes to that. Not after what had happened.

The nasty rumour the blond witch had told him about, popped back into his mind and it explained a lot of things. At first it was easy to spend time with Hermione, although she was very fixed on homework and studying for the coming NEWTS. She was a little stiff and stuck to the rules a bit more than was good for her, but she was also sweet and kind if one knew how to treat a woman. And unlike other witches he had met in his life she could hold a conversation about nearly everything. Her humour was dry, not non-existent like others surely thought and she possessed an inner fire that must be quite spectacular if unleashed.

But it was likewise clear that the witch was more than a little unsure about herself when it came to her worth as a woman and she obviously lacked experience with men. Not that he found that a bad thing. However it explained why she would listen to such nasty rumours.

He would have to change that, there was just one problem he thought bitterly.

_I'm running out of time. _

_TBC_

* * *

End notes

**Wands: **

Fawkes old wand:

Mahogany: The tropical wood is known to be quite expensive and is associated with live-giving powers. (forgive me my sense of humour but he **lived **longer then most)

Veela hair: I think most of you knew more about veelas then me but I think it's safe to say that they are somewhat vain. After all they need/use their beauty to attract their mates. (And as Nathaniel said himself...is is somewhat vain)

Fawkes new wand:

Yew: Is known to be poisonous but is although associated with death and rebirth. Voldemorts wand is made of yew and it is really fitting for him. But I think the death/rebirth suits Fawkes perfectly.

Abraxan horses: I've found not much about them so it gave me the chance to come up with something of my own. I associate the horses with energy and a wild spirit which are not easy to tame. But they posses a good heart and with a strong will and patience you can win them over.

**Beasts: (**I want to become a veterinarian so I guess it's no wonder I love animals and put some of them in this story^^)

Sphinx: Native to Egypt and known to everyone who had had at least read/watched Asterix&Obelix. They possess a lion-like body but a human head and are known for their love of puzzles and riddles of all kinds. In the HP universe they are also known to safe guard vaults at Gringott's and I wanted something other then the usual dragon.

Sleipnir(s): Is the eight-legged horse in the Norse Mythology. It's the child of Loki and Svaðilfari and belongs to Odin. He can glide through the air as easily as he can run on the ground. It's also said that on Ragnarök ( Judgement Day) Odin will ride on his back into battle.

The Abraxan horses are created after Pegasus the winged horse of the Greek Mythology so I thought it nice to put some Norse Mythology in there too.

.com/storagev12/853000/853201_bbae_ (Sleipnir)

White Foxes: Now we are in the Japanese Mythology. They are often describe as intelligent beings which posses magical abilities, among others the skill to assume human form. Sometimes they are associated with bad omens and are feared for the tricks they love to play with the human mind.

Of course there are also sources that portray them as faithful guardians, friends and lovers.

I used a mix of those two myths: They are faithful to those they accept as their masters and use their sly and sometimes cruel nature to protect them and their possessions.

**Jewel **

Here is a picture of the necklace. Sadly I've found nothing that match image of the medallion.

.org/media/images/collier_4125065_

**A/N:**

**Hypnotized Angel,littlereid3.0, Cjwellm, Soubifan700, Time Rose, Junior-Einstein, The writing Quill, Mistra Rose & Preciousteddybear thank you so much for your reviews!**

**littlereid3.0:** Thanks for the tip, I will check it and have hopefully successed in this chapter.

**TimeRose:** Harry will come around don't worry. But is only human after all^^. Oh and Blake is not forgotten...

**Junior-Einstein:** Vielen Dank. Es ist schön zu wissen, das auch jemand aus der Heimat mitliest^^. Und nur keine Scheu, probier's doch einfach mal selbst was zu schreiben. Ich kann dir aus Erfahrung sagen, es wird besser und es sind eine Menge Leute da draußen die gewillt sind einem zu helfen.

**The writing Quill:** I see Ron more as a nice guy who lost the ground under his feet but hasn't noticed it yet. I imagine it isn't easy to live with five older brothers and anybody want to be noticed form time to time. I'm not sure where he will go. As for Fawkes. I promise you there is more to him...

**MistraRose:** ha with that review you made me smile. And good to know my summary is able to raise interest. I hate summaries. I never know what to write. Specially when the story isn't even finished yet.

I hope all of you enjoyed this chapter. Hermione will be in the next one.


	7. 17 December 18 December

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

Chapter 7:

_17. December – 18. December_

"Damn!" Draco moaned as the hammer landed on his finger instead of the thin nail when it knocked on the door. Putting his throbbing thumb into his mouth he stood up and moved to the door. All the while inwardly cursing. Finally he yanked the door open and was confronted with a slightly exhausted looking Granger.

"What took you so long and why are you sucking on your thumb?"

He glared at her but before he could say anything she had stepped around him into the room and headed straight towards the couch where he had just been sitting.

"Uhh, Draco, what is this?"

Draco stiffened instantly and didn't need to turn around to know that she was staring at the items on the table. Fuck he should have hidden them. He knew it had been a stupid idea, especially now that he heard Hermione clearing her throat. Putting himself together he turned around.

"Why, Granger, I thought you are the muggleborn. You tell me!" he mocked her and saw her pressing her lips together in annoyance before her eyes fell onto something different on the table. Draco could practically see her eyes turning wide before an almost unbearable smile appeared on her lips that made him wince.

"You are making a present for Luna by handwork?" The tone of her voice was a mix of disbelief, approval and a snort and he couldn't really hold it against her. After all he still couldn't believe himself that he was actually doing it. He, a Malfoy!

But Draco remembered Luna talking about self-made things and how special and priceless such thoughtful presents were. He wanted his present to be special and in an attempt of total madness he started to work on _it. _

A little wooden box with a frame on the lid and two on the sides where he wanted to put pictures of her mother in. _Easy _as the man in the shop assured him. _Easy his ass! _

"Special situations demand special ways to handle them," Draco told the curly haired witch haughtily and hoped she would leave it with that. Of course she didn't. She was Granger after all.

"Sure, if you say so," she grinned and looked again at the items on the table. "What are you trying to do, some sort of box?"

Debating in his mind what would be the quickest way to change the subject he decided to go for the truth. "It's ought to be a photo box. Luna told me that she possesses only a few photos of her mother so I asked a little around and found those." He pointed at the pile of pictures which all showed a pretty blond witch that looked a lot like Luna.

"Oh, Draco, that's so sweet of you!" Hermione squealed suddenly and he couldn't help but look affronted.

"I'm a Malfoy! We don't do sweet!" She actually had the gall to laugh at him.

"She will absolutely love it!"

"Of course she will,"he answered with more assurance than he really felt. Maybe some fancy necklace or expensive perfume would've been better. On the other hand it was Luna, so Hermione was probably right, she would love it. That was if he managed to finish it without maiming himself in the process.

Hermione was sitting on the couch, flipping through the pictures he managed to find of Belana Lovegood. Most of them were from her time at Hogwarts and only a few from her live after.

"Oh Draco, is that Luna as a newborn?" Granger looked up from the picture that showed Belana with an only a few hours old Luna in her arms. Her mother was smiling down at her before she kissed her forehead and Baby Luna was watching her with big eyes. Draco was not sure if she possessed this photo herself but he intended to put it on the box-lid.

"Where did you find it?" she asked obviously fascinated with the loving mother and her child.

Shrugging he walked towards her and took his seat across from her. "The nurse who looked after me after the war was obviously the same as the one who helped with my birth. She told me that she still possessed all the photos from each child she helped to welcome to the world. So I simply asked around and found the nurse who helped with Luna's birth," he told her and felt a little odd to confess to what length he had gone to get the pictures. "Obviously all nurses are obsessed with this mother child pictures." The smile on Hermione's face was getting brighter and brighter with every second and he had a hard time not to squirm in his seat. His relationship with Luna was nothing he wished to discuss with Hermione. He wasn't even sure what kind of relationship the two of them had but Draco sure knew what he wished it to become. The blond witch had changed his life more than she probably knew.

One night when he was forced to bring Mr. Ollivander back into his cell, he didn't went back immediately. He needed some time to gather himself, hidden in the shadows before he could bring himself to go upstairs again. Malfoy manor was the only place where monsters didn't hide under beds and in dark corners but lived in the open.

That night was the first time he had heard her. Luna singing an old lullaby to the wandmaker who was whimpering in pain. Her voice was soft and barely more than a whisper but it was soothing him and eased the numbness he felt inside. Now and then he snuck down to the dungeons to hear it again and it was as if she knew he was there and what he wanted. Luna always sang for him and it always eased the pain a little. It still did when he relived the memory.

"Okay," he drawled and forced his thoughts back to the present again. It was time for a topic change. "Have you been able to convince Woody to agree with our request?"

"Don't call him that!" she snapped instantly and he rolled his eyes. "But to answer your question, yes,he agreed."

"So, what do we have?"

"Let's see," she started and fished for her notebook in her bag. "All the teachers agreed to the auction so you can bid for their special talent. We have four items from each of the Founders and a lot of various objects which we have to thank your mother for."

Draco had asked Narcissa for a little help to organise items which would bring a good price for their charity project and his mother had thrown herself into work with all her energy. After Lucius` death she had welcomed to chance to distract herself from mourning over her loss. The big cold manor held nothing but bad memories for her and Draco was thankful she had something to pass her time with when he wasn't by her side. This way he didn't need to worry too much about her.

But instead of telling Hermione this, he simply nodded and she continued to read from her list.

"Not bad, but it wouldn't hurt to have one or two highlights more." Although he knew there were a lot of people out there who would pay quite a price for an exclusive Quidditch match with Oliver Wood -he played for Puddlemere after all -the Slytherin inside him rebelled against the thought of a former Gryffindor being the star price.

"Maybe you could ask your plumy friend to sacrifice himself for a date to buy or something like that. I'm sure he would if you asked nicely." He smirked as she stiffened slightly and a dark expression crossed her face before she could stop herself. The _new _Draco shouldn't have so much fun railing her up about that man but sometimes he couldn't help himself.

Wrinkling her nose and muttering something about assholes and stupid blond hussies before she changed the topic as ineloquent as he did before.

"We still have the problem with the location."

His mother had suggested to hold this event in their manor but she understood why they declined. Draco didn't want Hermione there. Not because he didn't like her but because he did by now and to have her there would remind them both much too lividly of the last time she had been there. And there were a lot of others who wouldn't willingly put a foot in his home.

"We could still hold it here," he shrugged but was as unsatisfied with it as Hermione was.

Sighing she nodded. "We don´t have much time left. If we want anybody to appear to this event we have to mail people soon to inform them about it. I still think New Year's Eve isn't the best date. A lot of people will already have plans!"

"Don't worry. Mother made sure to tell everyone she knew about it and that it would be seen scandalous not to appear. We Malfoys may not hold the same position we once had in society but mother still knows how to handle them."

Every witch and wizard in Britain was still very anxious to prove that they had been supporting Potters side, especially those who forgot to show their support in the last last battle or on other occasions. So Draco was sure his mother used that little detail to her advantage. Who wouldn't want to help poor, helpless orphans who suffered from the war? Only cruel and heartless people and nobody wanted to be regarded as such.

"I don't doubt that," she agreed before she suddenly slapped her hand against her forehead. "Oh I almost forgot to tell you. I spoke to George and he wants to support us. He will take care of the firework for us."

"George? Which George?"

"Weasley."

"You want a Weasley to take part in a charity project?" he asked somewhat snorty and nearly added _they are a charity project themselves. _But he kept that part for himself, knowing that Hermione wouldn't take it well.

"I want George Weasley to take part in it," she emphasised forename. "He lost his twin in the war and he really does want to help. Besides there is no one who is better with fireworks than him."

She had a point there. Though Draco didn't personally know him and felt no need to change that, George Weasley and his twin had made an impression on him in fifth year when they bullied Umbridge nearly into madness with their show.

"I didn't know you still have contact with the Weasleys."

"Only because Ron is acting like a complete idiot at the moment doesn't mean that I don't speak with everyone else. Besides I had some business to clear with George."

Slowly his left eyebrow moved upwards. "Business?" Since when had Granger business to attend to? Least of all with a Weasley.

"Yes," she nodded. "Business. So what do you think? George promised to make the firework an unforgettable event. And I'm sure if we ask him he would also donate some things for the tombola."

"Alright! But don't expect me to be nice to a Weasley."

"How about you ignore him and let me handle everything that has to do with George?"

"Fine with me!"

* * *

_With a groan Nathaniel opened his eyes and looked at the big grandfather clock on the other side of the room. He had to get up soon if he didn't want to be late. And he had no intentions to be. _

_He was just about to push the sheets to the side when a warm and definitely naked body snuggled closer to him. Soft, feminine hands started to travel playfully over his chest. Nathaniel allowed it for a few seconds before he pushed them from his body and got up completely ignoring the protesting sounds of his companion. _

"_It is late, you should leave," he told her coolly while he started to pull out fresh clothes from his wardrobe. The woman in his bed however ignored him and started to sprawl under the sheets in a way she surely thought was seductively. _

"_I have a better idea, why don't you come over here and we have a little repetition of last _

_night´s performance?" she asked him sweetly. _

"_If I would care for a repeat performance I would have let you know!" Nathaniel knew his tone was a little too harsh but he had learned that it would only give women the wrong idea if he treated them too nicely after a night of shared amusement. And today he had no time to bother himself with some brainless hussy who was more interested in his father´s vaults than anything else. _

_He choose his clothes extra carefully for his meeting with Bella. Nathaniel enjoyed it when she looked him up and down appraisingly when she thought he wouldn't notice. Of course he did but he knew of her shy nature and he truthfully had no wish to embarrass her. _

"_Who is she?" _

_After a short look in her direction he continued to button up his vest, without answering her question. It was none of her business after all. The sooner she realised that and got the hell out of here, the better. _

"_A new conquest, after you had your fun with me?" she asked and by now he could hear a slight bitterness in her voice. "Will she be the one lying in my place, tomorrow morning?"_

_Stopping abruptly he fixed her with a dark expression. "To make one thing completely clear, this is not **your **place and it most definitely will never be. And don't you dare to ever compare yourself to her!"_

"_Why? What does she have that I don't ?" the woman asked sullenly. _

_Nathaniel nearly snorted. Where should he start to answer that question? _

"_Beauty, class and intelligence to begin with," he told her and ignored the hurt expression that appeared on her face. "And lets not forget kindness, decency and dignity." He didn't want to think too much about the fact that he didn't possess any of the last attributes himself. _

"_Now if you don't mind, I have a date to appear to. So get dressed that I can see you to the door." And with that he finished dressing himself. _

_An hour later he had forgotten all about the nameless woman as he watched Bella's beaming face. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes big from excitement. He had promised to show her the herd today and after seeing how much she enjoyed the Sleipnirs he asked her if she wanted to go on a ride with him. _

_Nox, his stallion was always eager for a ride and had started pawing his hoof over the ground as soon as he laid eyes on him. At the moment he was enjoying Anabelle's attention towards him and Nathaniel couldn't blame him. In fact he wouldn't mind changing positions with him right now. _

_Four months had passed since he had met her for the first time and nearly a month since he had decided to court her more thoughtfully. His father was nagging him about marriage ever since he had turned seventeen. He knew that it was his duty to marry someday and sire an heir. Now that he was only months away from his twenty-fifths birthday his father´s patience was getting rather thin. _

_That was until he noticed Nathaniel's interest in Anabelle Henderson and made it clear that he was pleased with his son´s choice. _

_Nathaniel couldn't say that he wanted to get married. But he couldn't change the fact that he had to so he had to make the best of it. And Anabelle was much more than he deserved. He knew that but wouldn't step back. The Slytherin in him wasn't willing to let go. _

"_Come on, little Belle, let me help up." He laughed as she squealed when he suddenly lifted her up to put her on Nox´s back. _

"_But he isn't saddled." _

"_Sleipnirs are proud and wild beings. They do allow some humans to ride them but they would never accept to be saddled," he explained to her but hesitated and looked up at her. "Is that okay for you? I promise I won't let you fall." _

_Her big blue eyes focused on him with such an intensity that his breath hitched for a second. _

"_I do trust you, Nathaniel. Completely." _

* * *

With a yelp Fawkes sat up straight. He needed a moment to orientate himself but bit by bit he remembered where he was. In his father´s , no he corrected himself, in _his _library. Sighing he leant back in his seat and stared at one of the bookshelves. He didn't want to think about his past but unfortunately his memories had other ideas.

"Tilly?" His voice was hoarse and with a quick glance to the side the empty carafe explained why. He could probably be thankful that the stuff was old enough to just give him a slight throbbing against his forehead instead of a full developed hang over.

A _Pop _beside him announced his house elf who was flapping with her ears in eager anticipation.

"Master called for Tilly? What can Tilly do?"

"Is there something I could have for breakfast?"

"Yes, Master, Mipsy filled up the kitchen immediately after Master arrived. Mipsy brought all things Master Nathaniel loved when he lived here. Would Master want to eat breakfast in here?"

Nathaniel looked over to the little creature who was nearly jumping up and down in her joy to finally serve her Master again. "That was very thoughtful of her. And breakfast would be nice."

As soon as Tilly popped away he closed his eyes again. Only to be confronted with amazing blue eyes that held so much trust it hurt. But before he could open his eyes their colour changed into a warm honey colour and it were now Hermione's eyes that were looking at him. Though he couldn't see the same trust in there as he had in Anabelle`s. In reality she even tried to avoid looking at him as much as possible and when she did the look in her eyes was nothing he wished to see.

He would have to change that somehow and the sooner he started with it the better. Tomorrow Christmas vacations would begin so he better hurried to get back to Hogwarts.

* * *

It wasn't before two in the afternoon he finally managed to get to the castle. It had taken him sometime to get back to London and get the Ministry to unlock the floo network to his manor. But it was worth the trouble. Now he could floo home from Hogwarts till he was back at his old form with his wand. Mostly it was like flying a broom. Once learned you could never forget but you had to practise the finer moves time and again.

Nathaniel was walking towards Hermione's quarters all the while thinking about a way to get her to give him another chance. There were a lot of ideas in his head but he doubted that any of them would have the desired effect. Half of them would probably get him hexed while the rest was just too cheesy to convince a girl like her. Maybe he should go for something more honest and realistic. She was a Gryffindor after all they loved such things. The problem was that the honest thing would make sure that she would never let him come near her ever again.

He was still lost in his thoughts as he rounded the corner and nearly run into another wizard. Not just any wizard. Campell. Oh, he knew his name. He was the guy who had been dancing with Hermione at the Halloween ball and it had been quite clear that he was interested in the witch in more than a platonic way. But till now it had been always from afar or at least when he was watching. Now though it seemed there was a golden opportunity to clear some facts with the boy, best before he had the chance to knock on her door.

"I wouldn't if I were you."

The hand stopped in mid air while his head wiped around. The expression on Blake's face could be described as annoyed, at best.

"And why wouldn't I?" His voice was sharp and it was clear that he knew exactly what Fawkes was on about and wasn't about to accept that. Not without a fight. A dirty Slytherin fight.

"Maybe to spare you the disappointment."

"The only one who will find himself disappointed will be you. Rumour has it that you're already good in causing it!"

Fawkes would love nothing more than to wipe that stupid smile from the other man's face but he controlled himself and tried to appear unaffected. Shrugging his shoulders he walked over. "I wouldn't give too much about rumours."

"Listen bird she has no interest in you the sooner you get that the better," the dark haired boy spat and glared at him as if he wanted to burn a hole through his head.

Fawkes felt his yaw tighten and returned the glare with one of his own. Who did he think he was? He had more than enough problems as it was and he sure as hell wouldn't allow some stupid little boy to make it worse.

"No, now you listen to me, boy!" Nathaniel hissed through clenched teeth. "She _will_ want me." He would make sure of that. "She is for me and the sooner you got that in to _your _head the better. Now leave!"

"I think not!"

Slowly but steadily Fawkes could feel his anger raising. He really tried to handle this situation civil, but obviously Mr. Campell wasn't clever enough to understand a warning when he heard one. For a long moment he just looked at him. The other wizard was tall, dark haired and unfortunately good looking. More disturbing than that was the fact that he was a fellow Slytherin. That would complicate things. Salazar's followers weren't exactly known to give up when they wanted something. Most of the times they just manipulated themselves to their goals.

"What could you probably offer her, green boy? Are you sure you're even old enough to know how to handle a woman?"

"Oh, I can handle a woman just fine. And other than you my last experience with a woman wasn't...what was it," Campell paused dramatically. "Tree-hundred years ago, old man."

_Old? Old? _In that moment he decided that _now _was as good as any other time to practise his skill with the wand. Within seconds he was pressing the end of the wood against Blake's chest but he had to give it to him that he wasn't slow either. Campell obviously was just hoping for a reaction like this and he - like a fool- fell for it.

"Oh, did I just hit a soft spot?" the boy mocked and didn't fail its propose to get him riled up. Merlin, he had definitely spent too much time with Gryffindors and their annoying ability of _act first ask later_. On the other hand it surely couldn't hurt to have a bit of fun and show the lad what an _old man _could do. He was just about to give into the urge to hex him, when he heard an unmistakeable voice behind him.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

Nathaniel would have laughed when he saw Campell wince, hadn't he done exactly the same. As if on silent command both hid their wands in their sleeves before they turned around to face Hermione.

"We were waiting for you, is that a problem?"

"Yes," she hissed in his direction. "It is a problem when you're hexing each other in front of my room!"

"Hexing?" Campell and he asked in unison. Apparently they both knew Hermione good enough to deny such a thing. It would only get them on her bad side and unfortunately there was no way to show the other up without getting into trouble either.

Of course she didn't believe them and glared at their direction. Well mostly in his, he noticed unhappy. Finally she crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised a brow.

"What do you want anyway?" It wasn't hard to notice that Hermione wasn't in her best mood and appeared rather stressed and impatient. But before he or Blake could say anything she raised her hand. "You know what? I don't want to know. I just spent two hours discussing and planning with Draco and we still have no location for our charity event. The last thing I need today is an overly high testosterone level."

She sure was in a bad mood. Nathaniel couldn't remember a situation where he had heard her snap at someone like that before. Hopefully it was just the stress and not his person that caused that reaction out of her.

"If you will excuse me."

With that she headed towards her door and just out of reflex both of them stepped aside to let her through. It took him nearly a minute to realise that she was about vanish, when her words sunk finally in.

_No place? Charity? _He remembered her telling him something about some event to collect money for war orphans.

"Hermione, I wanted to ask..." Campell started but he was quicker.

"How about a manor with an exceptional big ball room for your charity gala?"

The moment she faltered in her movement he knew he had her and it cost him a lot of discipline to prevent his lips from curling up. Especially when he saw Campell glaring daggers at him.

"There are also a lot of bedrooms where some of the guest could sleep, a kitchen which is big enough to handle just any event and it's absolutely safe," Nathaniel added and she finally turned around to look at him. The look in her eyes were suspicions but there was also something that told him she was excited about the prospect of finding a solution for her problem.

"Which manor are you talking about?"

"Fawkes manor, of course!"

"You have a manor?"He wasn't entirely sure if he should be insulted by her surprised tone. Didn't she have the slightest idea who he was? Or rather had been? Did the Fawkes name mean nothing these days? On the other hand she was muggleborn so he couldn't expect her to know all of the old families by name.

"Of course I do!"

"And you would be willing to host the event just like that?" Amused he raised an eyebrow. She had obviously spent more times with Slytherins than he gave her credit for.

"Of course not."

A weaker man than him would have faltered under Hermione's gaze but he held his smirk firmly in place. Nathaniel knew that she must be desperate to find a place otherwise she would have left by now without gracing him with another look. Thus there was no reason for him to give in. If she wanted his manor she would have to give in. Of course it wasn't very ethical and probably fuelled the anger she already felt for him but he was desperate, too.

"Okay," she sighed. "What do you want?"

"Oh, not much. Just a date."

"No!" Campell who had kept silent till now protested vehemently. "You don't have to do that, Hermione!" the boy told her urgently and Nathaniel didn't doubt that he regretted now that he didn't had the chance to hex him earlier.

"And let the poor orphans suffer?" Okay that was probably a bit too much and he was quick to soften the blow. "Is it really such a high price? Dinner, a dance and maybe a kiss?" The icy look he was regarded with didn't stop him. "Everybody needs something to look forward to," he shrugged.

"Hermione...," Blake tried again but was interrupted by the annoyed witch.

"Fine!" she snapped. "One date and no kissing." And with that she pushed them both aside stepped into her room and banged the door shut.

Both of them stared at the wooden door for a while before they looked at each other. It wasn't hard to read the look in Blake's eyes and that he probably wished him to hell.

But, well _he_ had a date.

* * *

For a long moment Harry just stared at the red haired boy beside him. Ever since they had met in the train to Hogwarts they had been best mates. Ron was the first real friend he ever had and although his temper sometimes got the better of him, Harry knew that he was a loyal friend. Of course there was the time in sixth year and the one during the hunt where he had abandoned him but in the end he always came around.

Ron always came back, he reminded himself. That was all that counted.

But Hermione was also his friend and she had never left his side. Not once. Despite what everyone else thought about him Hermione stood proudly beside him and encouraged him, comforted him and never stopped trying to get him to do his best. So why couldn't he do the same for her?

First he ignored her and then he watched silently while Ron insulted her to get on Lavender´s good side and ease the jealously the witch felt for Hermione.

Why didn't he put a stop to that? The embarrassing truth was that he was afraid to loose his friendship with Ron.

In the beginning he even could understand why Ron acted like he did and it was obvious that Hermione did, too. They both knew that although he loved his family Ron sometimes suffered from the lack of attention towards his person. His sudden status as a war hero had changed that soundly. But other than him who had learned to live with the public attention till the time he entered the wizard world Ron seemed to have lost the ground beyond his feet. The constant interviews, the endless fan mail and not to forget the beautiful witches who wanted to be seen at the side of a war hero made it easy to forget who your real friends were.

Thus Harry couldn't blame him that he was swayed from his feet by all of it. Beside he had to admit that he hadn't noticed much apart from Ginny till they had gotten together again. With Voldemort gone he had no longer be afraid for her safety and for the first time he could enjoy a relationship just like any other teenage boy.

But since some time now he was more obvious to the things that happened around him. Especially when it came to Ron and Harry didn't like what he saw. He was permanently surrounded by Lavender and two of her friends from Ginny's year who were listening to everything he had to say with a look of awe on their faces.

The problem was just that Ron wasn't telling the truth in some cases. Just now he was telling the three witches about their adventure at Gringott's and how they broke into the Lestrange vault. Harry listened for a while silently and was astonished how flawlessly Ron was spinning some untruths with reality. Did he even notice how he belittled the other persons who helped in the war? It was not that he denied their bravery or presence but he made their deeds less than they were in reality.

"...and than I destroyed it."

"Oh, Ron, you were so brave!" Lavender sighed dreamily.

Harry blinked a few time before the information sunk finally in.

"Why are you saying that?" he asked his friend finally with a calm voice which betrayed nothing of the disappointment he felt. Ron, who looked at him, as if he hadn't noticed his presence before opened his mouth but before he could say anything he went on. "Why are you telling them that you destroyed the cup, when we both know it was Hermione who did it?"

Ron looked taken aback for a second before his ears suddenly started to get red and coloured more and more the further he went on.

"Hermione was so proud of you that you came up with the idea of the chamber and the way you opened it, " he told him ignoring his embarrassment. Ron had no one to blame for this but himself .

"It was even you who told me she did it, so why would you lie now?" And more importantly Harry asked himself what else did he tell them that wasn't true?

"I -I..." Ron stuttered. "Maybe I mixed some things up." He admitted sheepishly before the look in his eyes changed slightly and became defiant. "But it was me who opened the chamber- without me she would have never been able to do it!"

"And without her you would have never made it through school nor life. Maybe you should remember that, mate," Harry told him with a calm but bitter voice before he added nearly voicelessly, "maybe I should remember that as well," before he left.

* * *

It was just a few hours later that Harry found himself listening intensely to Dumbledore. It was supper time and their last night in the castle for this year. Tomorrow most of the students would drive home for the Christmas vacations.

But it wasn't Dumbledore's Christmas wishes that got his attention but the charity event he was talking about. The one Hermione and Draco had been organising. Had it been really so long since he had spoken to Hermione? Obviously it had to be.

The headmaster said that the proceeds would be for war orphans and Harry was slightly put out that he hadn't been asked for help. On the other side, he had probably been too distracted so he couldn't hold it against him.

But now he wanted to help. If anybody could understand what it was like to grew up as an orphan it was him. Maybe it wasn't too late to do something. Slowly his eyes wandered over the Gryffindor table but there was no sign of Hermione. Likewise he couldn't find her anywhere else in the great hall.

"What are you looking at?" Ginny's voice beside him startled him for a moment.

"Where is Hermione?"

The look his girlfriend sent his way reminded him of her mother which was never a good sign. But finally her features softened and she sighed softly much like she had earlier after she found out about his dispute with Ron.

"Harry, Hermione wasn't in the great hall for supper or dinner ever since Halloween," Ginny explained to him carefully. "She is only here for breakfast. Mostly early in the morning so she doesn't...well so that she can eat alone."

"You mean to avoid Ron and me," he said after a while and suddenly felt like scum. Hermione was one of the kindest and the most patient people he knew. She must be really hurt by their actions to avoid them like that. Now that he thought about it he couldn't even remember her being in class which could only mean that she didn't ask as many questions as she used to because there was no way in hell Hermione would miss classes.

"I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"Maybe," Ginny shrugged. "But I doubt it. If there is a person with a big heart it's Hermione."

"But that's it," he groaned. "She was always there for me even when anybody else left me she was there. And I abandoned her." Harry noticed the flicker of hurt in Ginny's eyes and wanted to ease his words but his girlfriend shook her head and put a finger over his lips.

"No, you are right. As much as it hurts to admit it's true."

He sighed. It was true and worst of all was that he never had let her know how much he loved her for that. She was like a sister to him in anything but blood but he had abandoned her when she needed him most.

The war hadn't been kind to Hermione and it struck Harry that she had probably been hurt more than she had let them know. He felt stupid that he never took the time to think about it and ask her.

"What should I do?" Harry knew he sounded miserable but he didn't care.

"Isn't that obviously, silly? Talk to her!" And with a kiss to his cheek she was gone.

* * *

It cost him all his Gryffindor courage but right at supper time, he was standing in front of Hermione's quarters with a tray in his hands. Harry hadn't felt this nervous since he had to face Voldemort in the final battle but after all he just wanted to kill him not ask him forgiveness.

Finally he knocked and closed his eyes to collect himself.

"Harry?" Hermione's astonished voice let his eyes snap open again.

"Um...hi Hermione," he greeted her hoarsely. "I...um I thought maybe you would have dinner with me?" For a long moment she just stared at him as if she didn't know what to make of him but slowly a smile hushed over her lips and she stepped back to let him in.

Sighing deeply he stepped in. Maybe he hadn't screwed up completely.

TBC

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**MistraRose, preciousteddybear,TimeRose and littlereid3.0** thank you for your review... a lot of people are reading this story but it really makes you feel good to hear someone tell you that he likes your story.

**MistraRose:** hmmmmm...no. No wedding at the end of the year...but I wouldn't say to you're totally cold with your guess. ^^

**TimeRose:** lol six times? But you're not alone with that problem. And it's good to know I'm not the only one who calls him birdie...^^

* * *

**A/N:** Happy Halloween! We don't really celebrate that day in Germany but I wish you all much fun!

This chapter is more a filler but I wanted to tell a bit more about Draco and Luna aswell as clear things with Harry.

There will be more about Fawkes in the following chapters. Dreams as well as "growing" relationship with Hermione^^. Okay now he has a date...he bribed her but hey he's still a

Slytherin deep down. Don't forget that. If something helps them to reach their goal they will use it to their advantage.*lol* The date should be interesting.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I will need a bit longer for my next update. I have exams in november.

**Http:/ static. marktplaza. nl / images / 1 / 61 / 9066161. jpg **(delet the free spaces ) (Dracos photo box...if he is successful)


	8. 19 December 30 December

Disclaimer: look chapter one

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. While I was inspired to write "Call of the Siren" in record time during my exam period my brain was practically drained after it. I had a hard time to concentrate on writing and I'm afraid this isn't my best chapter so far. It's more like a filler, but none the less I needed it to go on with my plotline. Hopefully you still enjoy it. **

**Let me hear what you think! **

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Big thanks to Shakari for beta(ing?) this chapter.

Chapter 8:

_19. December – 30. December_

"Daddy!" Remus awoke with a start as someone landed on him with full force.

"Uh..." he choked and embraced his son who was the cause of the rough wake up call and tried to hold him still.

"Daddy, wake up! Wake up! Santa was here," Teddy cried excitedly wiggling in his arms.

Ignoring the knees that were pressed-rather painfully into his tummy he opened his eyes and looked at his son who was still in his Rudolph the Reindeer pyjama. His messy mob of hair was changing rapidly from purple to yellow- a safe sign that he was overly exited. Remus was instantly reminded of Dora who tended to do the same thing but as quickly as the memory crossed his mind he pushed it aside. This was not the time to get depressed while thinking of his dead wife. Not while their perfect little son was so eager to get to his gifts.

"How do you know he was there?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"I looked."

Arching a brow he watched as Teddy's hair changed to a blending, guilty, orange before he added hastily, "only a bit."

"Of course," the werewolf nodded and tried his best to hide his grin. "But I think we have to wait for Hermione before we can have another look."

"Mi's here," his son grinned and wiggled some more. "She said I can have presents when you wake up," Teddy told him. "You awake now. Can I have them now?"

Laughing Remus tousled his hair. "Alright, mate. Let me get dressed and we will look what Santa brought you."

"Yah!

He allowed him to get out of his arms and from his body so he could stand up. "How about you asked Mione for a cup of hot cocoa?"

The mention of chocolate seemed to fulfil its purpose and Teddy's eyes lit up at the prospect of getting a cup of his favourite drink. Like his father he had a fable for sweets especially chocolate. A second later the toddler was out of his bed and room and called loudly for Hermione who hopefully was in a better mood than yesterday night.

The three of them and Andromeda had a nice and calm day together, that was as far as any activity with Teddy could be described as calm and uneventful. His son surly had been in hyper mode yesterday. He had spent the day decorating their room, baking cookies with Hermione and listening to Andromeda who told him funny stories about his mum when she was young, even though the older witch had a hard time to suppress her tears.

Later that night they enjoyed a wonderful meal which Hermione had prepared for them and Teddy even got her so far to sing some Christmas carols for him. It was late when they finally managed to put Teddy into his bed, who was barely able to close his eyes because he was so full of excitement and even thought about staying awake and look out for Santa Clause. Finally sleep won over and the three of them had allowed themselves a glass of the red wine Andromeda had brought with her. With Teddy around earlier one always had to fear that he would take a sip out of curiosity when no one looked.

Andy had left soon after she finished her glass but Hermione and he drank one or two glasses more. Looking back at it he felt a little bit guilty that he didn't stop her but on the other hand he knew her well enough to know that she didn't took it lightly when someone told her what to do.

Nonetheless he should have known that the wine would make her a bit more _emotional. _Considering everything that had happened in the last weeks. First Ron, then Fawkes and now Harry finding his way back to sanity it was all a bit much, he knew but he had not thought about the fact that Christmas would remind her so strongly of the death of her parents. Last year they only had a small feast for Teddy's sake but everything was still too fresh to enjoy a happy Christmas together.

But after three glasses of strong red wine the tears started to flow and he had felt utterly helpless as he held her against him, much like he did to his son when he had a bad dream, and tried to sooth her pain away. Of course Remus knew from personal experience that nothing could take the pain away but it helped when there was somebody near. Just a warm hug and a few soft words could do much more than most people thought possible.

She had done the same thing for him. More often than she should have. He was the adult -it should be him soothing her, taking her pain away and promise her that everything would be better and brighter some day but after the war a lot of things hadn't been the way they should be.

Where were Ron and Harry to hold her? The way she had hold them, after Fred died? After Sirius died? After all this years she had spend looking after them?

Harry was finally coming around again and Remus was glad about it but the boy expected too much. He came to him, to see Teddy -just another thing he had neglected as his godfather -but Remus wasn't vengeful, especially when he saw how distressed he was.

Much like his father Harry tended to forget everything around him as soon as he fixed his mind on something -meaning Ginny.

Harry had spent a day with him and Teddy and they had talked a lot. Remus knew from Mione that Harry came to apologise after he realised that he had acted like a complete idiot. But it was obvious to him that he had expected everything would be like before now that Hermione had forgiven him. Harry couldn't understand that it wasn't done with a simple apology and act like nothing ever happened afterwards.

Remus hoped that the boy took his words to his heart and realised that he had to earn her trust again. Hermione was such a kind-hearted and forgiving person that people tended to forget that she could be hurt easily. And Harry had hurt her, maybe even more than Ron.

Sighing he changed into a pair of comfortable black trousers and a red jumper before he left his room and headed toward the kitchen where he could hear Hermione and Teddy laughing. So she was better today. He smiled at the scene that greeted him when he stepped through the door. His son was sitting on her lap and was squealing and laughing while he tried to get away from her hands which tickled him without mercy. For a moment he just watched them and allowed the sound of their laughter to warm his heart. But soon enough Hermione noticed him and stopped slowly in her action and as soon Teddy noticed him she allowed let him down.

"Can we go now?" the little boy asked still slightly breathless from all the laughing.

* * *

From the look on her face Remus could tell that Hermione was astonished about the sheer mass of gifts she received. Teddy was eager to help her unwrap each packet and was nearly as excited about her gifts as over his own.

Remus had given her a quill set with different inkstands and papers in different colours which brought a big smile to her face like he had hoped. From Teddy she got a framed picture of the two of them from the day they had all spent in the muggle zoo together which she promised to put on her night stand.

There were rare books from Harry, George and the Campell boy who had quite a crush on her since the start of the year and Remus had to give it to him that he wasn't that bad -for a Slytherin that is. And other than Fawkes he didn't use tricks to get her to do go out with him. On the other hand he felt nearly sorry for Nathaniel and couldn't deny that he was _trying. _Although he had to reconsider his methods.

The cursed man had made some faults and practically bribed Hermione into a date with him but Remus had the feeling that the man had no idea how to handle a woman like Hermione. Surly he had thought her to be like most of the witches her age, or even worse snobbish pureblood witches. More interested in money, fame and power than the person itself and three hundred years ago it must have been worse. So unfair practice probably looked like a safe way to get what he wanted, after the usual methods showed no effect.

Remus was curious what the former bird had chosen for her and watched carefully as the curly haired witch unwrapped the next packet. The dragon leather covered homework planner surely looked expensive enough to have come from him.

She must have noticed his curious look and grinned. "It's from Draco. I really hope he likes the Shakespeare collection I got him as much as I like his gift," Hermione told him and stroked carefully over the dark red leather.

"You got Malfoy a collection of muggle literature?" Remus asked astonished.

"He found Othello in my rooms and loved it," she shrugged. "So I thought he would enjoy his other work, too."

"Miracles never die!" he chuckled.

"Ah, Draco isn't all that bad, when you know him a little better. A bit whiny and demanding but you learn to live with that," she grinned. "But enough of that. I think Father Christmas has brought something for you too!"

"For Daddy?" Teddy asked eyeing the gift, which was wrapped in bright red and golden paper.

"Yes, honey, maybe you can help him unwrap it?"

"Sure," the boy nodded eagerly and grasped the packet before he rushed over to him and climbed on the couch beside him. Before he could even grasp the packet his son had it open.

"Look Daddy," Teddy cried and pressed a framed picture in his hands. "You and Unca Harry and Unca Siri."

Remus needed a moment to realise that it wasn't Harry Teddy was pointing at but James. It was a picture of him Sirius and James when they all were about seventeen. They all were dressed in their school uniforms and were standing in front of the black lake. Peter must have been the one taking this picture because he was nowhere to be seen. Remus had never seen it before and asked himself where Hermione might have found it.

He swallowed tightly as he watched his younger self laughing freely with his two best friends who died both before their time. Leaving him behind and alone.

Just as that thought crossed his mind his son snuggled closer to him and he was reminded that there were still things out there that were worth living for.

"That's James, Harry's dad," he finally corrected Teddy who was still staring at the picture. "I told you about him and Sirius in some of your bedtime stories. Do you remember?"

"Yes, he is the stag!" the toddler nodded instantly. He loved being told about the Marauders and their adventures at school. "And Unca Siri is the dog. But I like the wolf best!"

Hearing his son say that so easily made him breath soundly. "Why?" he asked stupidly.

"Cause you're the best daddy."

Ignoring the sudden tight feeling in his chest he pressed his lips against Teddy's head and hugged him tightly to his side but his eyes searched for Hermione's. She smiled at him but looked as if she had difficulties to hold back her tears as she watched the scene before her.

Remus didn't want her to get the wrong impression and mouthed a _Thank you _in her direction. Although there were a lot of painful emotions linked to his two best friends he _was _thankful for her thoughtful present. Most pictures of the Marauders were from all four of them and he couldn't bear looking at Peter's face. Not after all he had done to them.

"You're welcome." Hermione smiled softly before she took a deep breath and grasped the next packet from under the tree. It was small but wrapped so elegantly that it seemed nearly a crime to open it. Instantly Remus knew that it had to be Fawkes` present for Hermione.

With curious eyes he watched her staring down at it. Obviously Hermione had come to the same conclusion as he had and now seemed unsure if she should open it. The fact that she was biting her bottom lip though, showed him that she wanted to. In the end her curiosity won over and she hesitantly pulled at the golden white ribbons.

"I can help you Mi," Teddy had noticed her slow movements and like any other child his age couldn't understand how anybody could take so long to unwrap his Christmas present. Surely there had to be a law against it.

"No mate, I think Mione can handle this one alone. But I think there is another one which has your name on it." Instantly his hair turned purple again.

"For me? Really?"

Chuckling about the excited glow in his eyes he _acciod _a big green box over to them which was attacked instantly the moment it landed beside Teddy. Knowing his son would be busy with his own gift Remus turned around to Hermione again who was staring again. By now the paper was gone and he could see her holding a small jewel case but she still hadn't opened it.

For a few moments she continued to stare at the box before she suddenly shook her head and put the box in her pocket without looking inside.

* * *

"_You're lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringott's! Tell the truth, tell the truth!"_

_The Cruciatus hit her square in the chest before she could even think about responding to one of Bellatrix´s demands. Not that she would even if she could. Hermione would die before she became a traitor to her side. To Harry._

_Hermione had known what she was getting herself into when she decided to accompany Harry on his search for Horcrux. She knew that she could die and what Death Eaters were capable of. But the reality was much more painful than anything Hermione could have imagined._

"_What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I shall run you through with this knife!" Bellatrix screeched and Hermione tried desperately to shut out the pain __and concentrate on her questions. Her head hurt and there wasn't a part of her body that didn't ache but Hermione knew it was important to understand why Bellatrix was questioning her and not simply torturing her for the fun of it. Or killing her for being a filthy Mudblood._

_What was the crazy witch talking about? What was in the Lestrange vault that she was reacting this violating to it that she didn't even want her master to find out? Hermione's thoughts were interrupted abruptly the next second and she couldn't help but scream in agony as the crucio hit her again. This time stronger than before._

"_What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!"_

_Her mouth opened but the pain was so strong that she couldn't even find her voice to allow the scream to come out._

* * *

With a soundly gasp Hermione sat upright in her bed. One hand was pressed firmly against her wild beating heart while the other was pushing her damp hair out of her face. After she had calmed down a bit her shaky fingers searched for her wand to mutter a quick spell to lighten up the room. A few months before she would have slept with her wand under her pillow and at least one light source in the room but she had thought she was over it.

She was!

Not so long ago she would have screamed her lungs out after a dream like that and had she waken in a dark room afterwards she wouldn't have stopped till someone had assured her that she was safe and it was only a dream.

"I'm not weak any longer," she whispered. "I'm not weak!"

The fact that she was shuddering all over though, didn't make her sound very convincing. Even in her own ears. Gritting her teeth she pushed her blanket to the side and stood up. For a few minutes she simply walked up and down in her room before she let herself down on her bed, legs crossed and tried some of the breathing techniques she had read about in one of her meditation book. It did help clear her head and pushing the memories back in a deeper part of her mind but she still felt restless and unable to find peace.

Her eyes wandered around in her room and finally landed on the small jewel case on her night stand. She still hadn't opened it. Although there was no card she knew for sure that it was from Nathaniel. The expensive package was practically screaming his name and it only fuelled her anger. Was he really thinking he could buy himself back into her good graces with some stupid jewellery? After he had bribed her into going out with him? No way!

She was not one of those brainless hussies who would fall for a charming smile and some sweet talk and more so she was not one of those girls whose affection could be bought with expensive gifts. Still her fingers were itching and she couldn't unlock her eyes from it.

Biting her bottom lip she finally gave in to her curiosity and grasped the box. For a few more minutes she continued to stare at it in her lap while her fingers traced over the black velvet. Then after a deep breath she opened it.

Hesitantly she took the medallion out to have a better look at it. It was silver with a beautiful shaped sapphire on it. Did he know that it was her birthstone or did he just buy it because he thought it pretty? Well, she had to admit he wasn't like Harry or Ron who failed to have the slightest sense for details. No, she decided, Nathaniel would know the meaning of the stone and had chosen it well-considered.

A small smile hushed over her lips and she allowed her fingers to glide over the latch at the side to open it. The moment the lid sprung to the side a melody filled her ears and tears welled up in her eyes.

It was the same song Fawkes had sung for her in Dumbledore's office and like before the melody was as beautiful as it was sad. Hermione remembered the day, when he was still cursed in his bird form and sung for her with his unbelievable heart melting voice. Tears were running freely down her cheeks but she did nothing to stop them. Instead she closed her eyes and was sent back into her dreams.

Again she was dancing with the handsome stranger on the masquerade ball but this time she knew it was Nathaniel. He guided her over the dance floor after his own song and she felt free and happy as they practically floated through the room. He never once parted his eyes from hers and Hermione felt as if she was the centre of the universe.

His universe.

A feeling that left her light headed and giddy.

With a sigh she opened her eyes after the melody faded away and stared at the medallion.

_For my fairy princess_

The delicate words were engraved in the backside of the medallion and against her will she could feel her traitorous heartbeat quicken.

Nobody apart from her parents had ever presented her with jewellery and nothing had been as beautiful and thoughtful as this medallion. Everybody else got her books or something that had to with school and education and of course she loved every single present she got. But all her friends seemed to forget that she _was_ a girl too and needed to be seen and treated as such. At least every now and then. Hermione wanted to be more than just one of the guys.

Nathaniel seemed to understand that but Hermione was not sure if it was enough. He was charming and intelligent, no question. Not to forget bloody handsome and funny. In his presence she really felt as if nothing else mattered for him apart from her. Unfortunately he had that effect on most females and didn't hesitate to made them feel special which in turn made her feel stupid that she allowed herself to fall for his tricks.

He was a prat! Worse even -Nathaniel was a charming, handsome and most definitely cunning pureblood Slytherin.

Merlin, he had bribed her into dating him!

What she still couldn't understand was why? Every girl in Hogwarts would gladly commit murder to get a date with him but he wanted to go out with her and got even so far to use dirty methods. Well, she wasn't sure if it counted as dirty methods for a Slytherin.

He couldn't very well want to date her out of pity. No, by now even she found that theory ridiculous. Someone who pitied her would find another way to reciprocate himself -not force her to a date.

Could he really like her? Just for herself?

Looking down at the medallion she traced the lines of the engraving with her finger.

_For my fairy princess. _

Nibbling at her bottom lip she struggled with herself. Should she give him a real chance even after their day in Hogsmeade and the way he bullied her into a date?

She closed and opened the medallion so that the melody filled the room again. Like before she closed her eyes and enjoyed the beautiful song and held them shut for a while even after the song faded away and left nothing but silence behind.

As she finally opened her eyes she had come to an conclusion. Everybody deserved a second chance, so she would desist to make his life hell during their 'date' but allow him to set things right. And maybe just maybe she would find out that not everything had to remain a dream.

Hermione closed the medallion and put the necklace over her head before she slipped back under the sleeves. She really hoped he wouldn't let her down again.

Her fingers never let go of the jewellery but continued to trace lines over it, while it laid beside her on her pillow. As if on their own they opened it again and like each time before Fawkes song could be heard. Hermione doubted that she would ever get tired of it and before long the soul touching song had lulled her into sleep.

This time she wasn't haunted by nightmares.

* * *

Nathaniel was nervous. So nervous in fact that he couldn't stop himself from pacing up and down in his library. Today was his date with Hermione and he was afraid the witch wouldn't like his plans for the day. Given the way he bribed her into their date she would probably regard him with the silent treatment or worse, he shuddered. In his life he had dated enough women to know that it was no fun to get on their bad side. Furthermore Hermione was a very capable witch who could easily make his life hell if she wished to do so.

Muttering to himself he checked the old grandfather clock and sighed. There was still some time before he could fetch her from Hogwarts where she was staying with Professor Lupin and his child. So he went over his plan once again.

His first idea had been something big and prosperous like something he would have done in the past but he quickly dismissed the ideas. Hermione wasn't like most witches. She wouldn't be interested in a show of power and wealth. If he wanted to impress her he would have to go for something thoughtful and personal. Something that would show her that he cared about her.

A muscle in his cheek twitched as he remembered the one other person he had spent time and energy for to leave a good impression. As soon as the memory hit him he pushed it way. This was not the time to think about his past.

_As if there ever will be_, he thought bitterly.

_You should worry about your future, not your past! _he admonished himself.

"Make sure that you will have a future..." he muttered quietly to himself before he shook his head and allowed his thoughts to drift back to Hermione and the day before.

Nathaniel had thought long and hard about it and finally decided to start their date with tea in the library. Every other girl would probably wrinkle her nose but when he knew one thing than that Hermione wasn't just _every other girl. _And she loved books.

Afterwards he wanted to show her his home. Not to show off but to assure her that it was perfect for her event. His house-elves surely were happy about hosting such a big event after the house stood empty for so long. Hopefully she was content with everything they had prepared so far.

As highlight of the day he had planned a long coach-drive though the snowscape. Checking on the Sleipnirs had been one of the first things on his list and he was happy to detect that Nox was still very much alive and recognised him. Though the beautiful creature was much too old to haul the carriage itself, his acceptance allowed him to get accepted by the herd. _Caligo _and _Ferox_two young and beautiful Sleipnirs would take over that role. Hermione would love them and he would love to have her beside him in the carriage under the thick blankets during their joyride.

And last but not least they would have dinner together. At first he was torn between a fancy restaurant in Diagon Alley and a private meal at his manor. In the end he decided for the latter simply because it offered them more privacy.

Nathaniel wouldn't deny that he was greedy and he wanted her for himself. At least for their date and the less people were around the less sticky situations could arrive. The former bird fully intended to get his kiss and he hoped like hell that it wouldn't be his last.

Another glance at the clock showed him that it was time -finally. With one last deep calming breath he marched over to the fireplace and grasped a handful of floo powder.

"Dumbledore's office!"

* * *

Hermione wasn't sure what she had expected but it surly wasn't something so thoughtful. Nathaniel had arrived punctual in front of her rooms at Hogwarts to pick her up for their date. The fact that he looked slightly nervous and uncomfortable had ironically calmed her own nerves down. She had to smile when she remembered the look of hope and excitement in his eyes as he noticed that she was wearing his medallion. Though his eyes wandered more than once to the jewellery he never mentioned it. Instead he made an effort to keep their talk easy and general without making it sound superficial. That alone was something she had to admire.

They had tea in the library and Hermione was barely able to concentrate on her tea and their talk with all the rare and old books around. Her fingers were twitching as if they had a life on their own and she wasn't able to fight the blush as he made a comment about it. It was a nice, teasing comment but still, she felt as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

He offered her to spent more time in his library in the future if she was interested, which she was without question. And even though she knew his offer was more a trick to get her back to his home than friendly courtesy she didn't find it in her to decline.

And she had decided to give him a second chance and so far he hadn't let her down.

After tea he showed her his manor and although she hadn't been in many pureblood homes she was sure that Fawkes manor was more luxurious and imposing than most. They couldn't have found a better place for their event and despite the fact that she wasn't happy about the way it had been offered to her she was pleased to have it. After all the event had a purpose and Hermione was determined to collect as much money for the war orphans as she could. Now with even Harry willing to help -in form of a _Meet and greet with the famous Harry Potter -a whole day with your hero_ Hermione was looking a bit more optimistic into the future.

The preparations were in full swing and she was a little astonished that everything seemed to look fine. Nathaniel had informed her in a letter that he would take care of everything but she was positively surprised how serious he took that matter.

"_Don't worry everything will be perfect!"_

Well it definitely looked that way. The only thing that worried her a bit were the house-elves but the little creatures were downright beaming at the prospect of decorating the house for a big event that she didn't find it in her to say anything about paying them or worse setting them free. Normally they would start to cry or hit themselves because they thought they had done something wrong.

Over the years Hermione had come to understand that they didn't want things to change and she had learned to accept that. But she still thought that they had rights and should be treated with respect.

But from the look of it the house-elves in Fawkes manor were happy, well dressed and treated kindly. Nathaniel didn't pay much attention to them but when he addressed them his voice was calm and even. He never screamed at them or kicked them like she had seen other purebloods do. Of course she had only been in his manor for a few hours but she had never seen him as the violent type anyway.

"_I have a surprise for you!" _he had told her finally after they finished their round through the house and guided her into the garden though park was a more accurate word to describe it.

Hermione being Hermione couldn't help herself and saying, _"I don't like surprises!"_ only to regret it the moment she saw the slightly dejected look in his eyes.

And now that she was standing right before the magnificent horses she felt bad for not biting her tongue. Although she really wasn't fond of surprises, which was mostly because the surprises in her past had rarely been enjoyable ones, she should have been polite and kept silent about it.

And she should have known better than to underestimate Nathaniel.

"They are beautiful," she whispered in awe and carefully extended her hand so the stallion next to her could get acquainted to her scent. As if to tell her that she was accepted he nuzzled her hand and wheezed quietly. Smiling brightly she patted it softly and repeated her action on the other stallion who seemed to accept her as easily as the first one.

She couldn't believe that she was standing in front of Sleipnirs. Real Sleipnirs and a whole herd at that. The two stallions, Caligo and Ferox she remembered, came over to them as soon as they noticed the two of them.

Nathaniel was smiling brightly, obviously happy that she liked his surprise.

"So are you ready then?"

"Ready?" She blinked. "Ready for what?"

"I thought you would enjoy a ride though the snowscape?"

"Really?" She squeaked excitedly and instantly blushed. She must have sound like a little girl who was told that she could have a pony, but Nathaniel only beamed at her and nodded.

"Of course," he grinned. "These two are all too eager to show you around. They see it as an honour and they obviously like you."

"They? As in the Sleipnirs?"

"Yes, they can communicate with witches and wizards. Didn't you know?"

Shaking her head her eyes flickered from the man in front of her to the stallions and back again. No she hadn't known. Hermione hadn't even known that there were still Sleipnirs out there. All she knew about this magnificent horses were a few references in her history of magic and care of magical creatures books. But that was barely more than a description of their appearance and the fact that they hadn't been seen in decades. To be standing in front of a whole herd was breathtaking, not to mention that she was touching two of them.

"And...and you're talking with them right now?"

"No," he shook his head and hold up his hand as he noticed she was about to protest. "It's a little more complicated than that. They have to grow up in close contact to wizards or witches to be able to do so. This herd hasn't seen a human being since my father died. They understand you when you talk to them or rather the deeper meaning of it but they aren't able to answer you the way they used to. The only exception is the oldest stallion in the herd. Nox. Come on," he offered his arm to her, "I will tell you more about them during the ride, if you like."

"Yes, please," Hermione nodded eagerly and smiled up at him as she linked her arm in his.

An hour later she felt more happy and carefree than she had in a very long time. She was sitting in the carriage close to Nathaniel and enjoyed their ride. Both of them were snuggling together under a thick blanket and although Hermione knew that he could have simply performed a heating charm she allowed him to get away with it. Truth was she didn't mind. It felt good to sit this near beside him with his arm protectively around her shoulder while the Sleipnirs carried them through the snow.

He had told her why there were so many Sleipnirs on his estate and the special history the creatures had with his family. Hermione was eager to hear more and for the first time since she knew him Nathaniel freely talked about himself and the life he had lived before. He told her about the creatures that lived on the estate and the soft spot his mother had had for them and how he had loved to explore the grounds on _Nox´s _back when he was a kid.

She liked this Nathaniel much more than the wizard she had get to know over the past weeks and was glad that she allowed herself to give him another change. There was so much more to the man than one could see at first and she really hoped she would see more of this side.

Hermione was pressed so firmly to him that she couldn't only hear him laugh as he told her about a happy memory from his childhood but feel it too and the deep rumble made her smile.

And that was just it -he made her smile, made her pensive, made her feel feminine but more than that he made her feel alive. And she hadn't felt alive for quite some time.

Leaning her head against his shoulder she was anxious about the rest of her date. And maybe -just maybe- a kiss wouldn't be as bad as she thought at first.

TBC

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will be the charity event. Like I said before there is more to all of this. I still have a little trouble to decide how much information I should put in each chapter. Hopefully everything will turn out the way I imagine it^^


	9. 31 December

Disclaimer: look chapter one

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. I've some touble to find a beta for this. My friend looked this over but like me she is no native. So please don't be too hard.

**The wonderful HermioneSnape asked me if she could borrow my idea about Fawkes being a cursed human. I think it's a crime to stop anyone from writing and being creative so of course I said yes to her question. (Did I mention that it was quite an ego-boost?) Well anyway check it out if you like: Fawkes Turn by HermioneSnape**

* * *

Chapter 9:

_31. December _

_To say his father had been pleased would be an understatement. He had been ecstatic -if one was daring enough to claim a Fawkes was able of such overt display of emotion. _

"_Son, I knew you would make the right decision!" the older wizard exclaimed and Nathaniel was astonished he didn't just simply told him -It's about time. Not willing to squash the good mood his father was in he simply nodded. _

"_I will contact her father at once. I'm sure Kenneth will be more than pleased. Our families should have united long ago. Both our ancestry goes back to some of the most noble lines there are in our community." Before his father could go on about ancient blood lines and the importance of holding them together he interrupted him. _

"_Please inform Lord Henderson that I would be very grateful if he doesn't speak with Isabelle about it yet. That is if he accepts."_

"_Of course he will accept!" his father snapped at once. "Who in the right mind would decline to bond with the Fawkes family? And what is this about not speaking with his daughter?"_

"_Father," he sighed,"Isabelle is much like mother a romantic at heart." Nathaniel knew that bringing up his mother would do his job and soften the wizard. "I would like to surprise her. Girls dream about the proposal nearly as much as about their wedding day, as mother assured me! I would like to make this right! A pleased woman is a good precondition for a successful marriage." _

_That seemed not only to soften him but satisfy him at the same time. "Ah, spoken like a true Fawkes. Though the acceptance of the woman isn't essentially necessary I agree that a happy wife makes life so much easier." _

_And with that it was settled. Not entirely two days later he was having dinner with Isabelle on one of their more private patios under the free starry sky. With all the candles and the quiet music in the background it was all quite romantic and Belle's pretty flushed cheeks told him that she shared that opinion. _

_He didn't lie when he told his father, that his little Belle was a romantic and he had to admit that he quite liked wooing her. Not primarily for her pleasure alone but for the look she would regard him with. As if he was everything she had ever dreamed about. That look never failed to make him feel manly and let his chest swell with pride. _

_No other woman he knew possessed such an innocence and honesty and he was well aware of the real treasure Isabelle was. Many wizards he knew were only interested in a show-off wife with the proper ancestry, who would bear them a heir in time. A delicate flower like Isabelle wouldn't stand a chance with most of them, but Nathaniel wouldn't allow that she lost that gleam in her eyes. He would do his best, to make her happy in their marriage. _

_He may not love her but enjoyed her company greatly and was sure that within time they would be able to form a deep fondness for each other, even when the love he knew she felt for him at the moment would vanish. _

_Yes, she was a sweet girl. Not a harpy like most of the women he knew. Their marriage would be of mutual satisfaction and he would make sure that she would want for nothing. _

_Fingering the ring he kept in his pocket, he smiled at her before he asked her to dance. It was near the end of the song that he took a step back and sunk to his knee, one of her hands still firmly in his grasp. As soon as fetched the ring out of its hiding place he could see her eyes going wide, while her free hand covered her mouth in shock. _

"_Isabelle," he started knowing that his next words were essential. "I knew from the moment I saw you, you were special and..." The brilliant smile she was sending in his direction was unnerving and all his well-considered words were suddenly forgotten. _

"_Well, I guess what I want to tell you," he quickly collected himself to not appear like a complete idiot in front of her, " is that I'm sorry it took me so long to do do this. Will you do me the honour and marry me, little Belle?"_

"_Yes," she squealed without hesitation. "Yes, yes Nathaniel. I would love nothing more than to become your wife!" She beamed at him and with a smile of his own he put the priceless princess cut diamond on her long delicate finger before he stood up to kiss her. _

_The kiss was like her: Sweet and innocent. _

* * *

With a start Nathaniel woke up. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and like so often before he had trouble to bring his breath under control. Ever since he moved into the manor his dreams plagued him every night. Some were forgotten in the first ray of sunlight, but most gnawed at him throughout the day. It was unnerving and he did his best to ignore them though it seemed he had very little success in doing so. The manor and everything in it was a steady memory of his past and therefore a reminder of his dreams.

Sighing he allowed his head to fall back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Today was New Years Eve, day sixty-two in his second life as a human. He had to hold back a groan as he realised with utter clearness that most of his time was already up. Merlin. he was screwed!

There was a part of him, one that had developed during the time he had lived as a Phoenix, that told him, that it was his own fault and more than that _he earned it_! But the Slytherin, which had been part of him and his human form ever since he was born, rebelled against such thoughts. If anything he earned himself a life.

He was the victim after all, wasn't he? Most of his life had been stolen from him for reasons he didn't like to think about. A pair of accusing bright blue eyes appeared in front of him and instantly his eyes snapped open.

"None of that!" Nathaniel admonished himself and with that he stood up. Today was the day of Hermione's charity event and there were still a lot of things to handle before the guests would arrive. But more important was that Hermione would be here in about an hour, so that they could take breakfast together and speak about the necessaries. Malfoy and his mother would be there too, but he simply had to live with that.

Fawkes wouldn't jeopardize his chances with Hermione by treating her friends in any way that would displease her. And Malfoy wasn't so bad after all. He remembered his ancestor Perseus Malfoy, with whom he had gone to school and in comparison to him Draco was practically a modest saint.

After a quick halt in the bathroom he dressed in one of his brand new robes and took his time to make sure he looked perfect for her. With a warm smile he remembered their date and how she had allowed herself to enjoy their time together. He especially liked to remember the cart ride and the feel of her warm, curvy body against his own.

Afterwards they had spend a long time just talking and finally ended their evening with a nice dinner. When he finally escorted her home, it was late but if the smile on her face was anything to go by she didn't seem to mind. Ever since dinner Nathaniel had debated with himself if he should take the risk and kiss her good night. In the end he refrained from doing so and actually imagined he saw something like disappointment cross her face, even if it was only for the blink of an eye.

Nonetheless it was that look what gave him hope and let him look forward to today's event. If there was even the smallest chance that she could be interested in him -the way he was interested in her- he would jump on it. He would make her see that he was everything a witch could wish for. Their date had been a good start but it wasn't enough. Not for him anyway.

Nathaniel knew that Hermione wasn't the kind of woman who rushed into things, least of all relationships. Considering her insecurity and some rumours he had heard she hadn't really that much experience at all, when it came to relationships.

Not that it bothered him -well at least not the latter. The fact that she was untouched in nearly every aspect a wizard could think of only hiked his desire for her. But her inexperience would make it so much harder to bind her to him.

Sighing deeply he took a last glance into the mirror to make sure his appearance was flawless before he left the room. He had a witch to sweep from her feet and wasn't in any position to allow himself to fail.

* * *

George Weasley was feeling happy. Once that may have been nothing out of the ordinary, but since the end of the war happiness had become a foreigner to him. The loss of Fred had hit him hard and left a gaping hole inside him that was big enough to make him wonder if it was even possible to ever be whole again.

A lot of people tried of course. His whole family gave their best to comfort him as well as a lot of his friends from Hogwarts, even those who lost family members themselves but none of their efforts could pierce through the shell he had built around himself.

Losing your twin was different from losing friends or other family members, it was like losing a part of yourself. George felt as if someone had ripped out his heart without having the mercy to kill him in the process. Sometimes the pain was so overwhelming that his once so clever mind started to fill his head with ideas. Usually with ways to stop the pain, those ways that would bring him back to Fred. More than once he had found himself in their laboratory finishing a potion which would do the job but every time he tried to do _it_, it felt as if Fred was screaming at him.

Deep inside George knew that his brother would be disgusted at the idea of him throwing aside his own life to follow him to the side of the dead. The certainty of that was the only reason he had banished every thought of suicide from his mind.

Instead he had thrown himself into work. The shop was as much Fred's _baby _as it was his own and at times it felt as if it was the only thing that was left from him. George wouldn't allow it to be ruined and therefore Fred's memory.

In the last few month business was getting to a point where he had to think about appointing a new saleswitch. Verity and he were barley able to comply with the massive requests. It seemed after the war was finally over a lot of people were in the need for a bit of mindless fun and their products were just the right thing to do the job. Fred would have liked that. Making people laugh had always been their goal, only that he hadn't lived long enough to experience it.

But regardless how much time he spend working, how many products he was able to sell every day and how many people left his shop with a smile on his face, George wasn't happy. Nothing of all these things was able to put a real smile on his face.

Nothing apart from one thing. One person. Hermione Granger.

The time she approached him at Kings Cross station with her memory box he wasn't sure what to think of it. He was angry, excited and afraid at the same time, just thinking about the prospect of feeling his twin again. He didn't need to experience it to know that it would hurt like hell. But in the end it was the fact that she had no qualms in speaking out Fred's name in front of him, that ^made him try it out. Nobody said his name any more, too afraid of hurting him without realising that pretending he had never existed hurt so much more.

Nonetheless he was right, it did hurt but after a while he realised that the pain faded and he was able to live through happy memories again, without feeling as if someone had stabbed a knife into his chest. George wasn't ready to look at some of their most special moments, like their first birthday he remembered, receiving their Hogwarts letter or the opening of their shop but that was okay. One day he would be okay with that ,too.

Ever since that day at Kings Cross Hermione crossed his mind in a repeating manner. At first he didn't even find it odd, after all she was the one that gave him the memory box but after a while he couldn't deny that his thoughts were fixed on her a bit too much.

After he started contacting her on account of producing and selling memory boxes in his shop, he continued to write her every week and downright hungered for her reply letters that would follow suit.

They talked about a lot of things, but mostly exchanged ideas for new products. Well he shared his ideas with her and she would usually note how to improve them or point out faults he hadn't seen till then. She didn't even back away from mentioning Fred in a frequent manner. More than once he noticed her using plural form and he knew Hermione good enough to know that she didn't lapse but used it deliberately. Every time he read Fred's name or saw her using plural form he didn't break down and cry as one might have thought but felt his lips twitching into a smile.

He had seen Hermione briefly over Christmas, although she had refused to join the traditional Weasley Christmas dinner due to his stupid git of a brother. But she had stopped by regularly in his shop and they had spent lunchtime debating over the formal aspects of their working companionship which possible could contain more than the memory box in the foreseeable future.

Every day George would look forward to lunchtime and eyed the door, whenever possible, for signs of a curly haired witch to walk through. It was than that he realised that he might feel a bit more for Hermione than simple friendship. To be completely honest he wasn't sure what to make out of it. It wasn't love he felt for her but certainly a comfortable affection. One that could develop into more given the time -and the bravery to allow himself the vulnerability that came with love.

George knew he wasn't ready for that at the moment but that didn't mean that he didn't care for her. He would simply allow himself to see where things may lead to -starting tonight.

Humming quietly to himself he got dressed for the charity event which Hermione and Malfoy were hosting at Fawkes manor tonight. Without thinking much about it he went over to the big mirror to check his appearance when he stopped dead in his tracks. Blinking slowly he stared at he figure that looked back at him. He hadn't looked into a mirror since the day of the last battle, too frightened to look at his reflection and see _him. _The man that looked back at him today though didn't´t have much similarity with the picture he still had of himself in his head.

He was a lot thinner than he remembered. His hair was longer, even longer as in his fifth year and his skin paler but the biggest change was the look in his eyes. Once carefree and sparkling with mischief they now possessed a gleam of sadness and soul aching sorrow.

George wasn't sure what to make of it. On the one hand it felt good to look into the mirror without seeing Fred staring back at him, on the other hand he felt as if he had betrayed his twin in changing into this other person. Sighing deeply he decided to put that inner monologue aside for another time.

Tonight he would enjoy himself. And with a last flick of his wand he made sure that his robes fell the way they were supposed to do.

"_Way to go Forge!" _For the blink of an eye he thought he saw his reflection winking at him and slowly the smile found its way back to his lips.

"Way to go Gerd!" he mumbled back and apparated out.

* * *

The event was a success so far it seemed and Hermione could slowly feel her nervousness go away. Narcissa surely had done a brilliant job and obviously coaxed half of the wizard world into appearing here tonight. From the expensive looking robes, elegant hairstyles and alluring perfumes it was also quite clear that most of the guests were good clients at Gringotts. So all in all it were exactly the people Draco and she wanted here tonight.

Some of the things from their funds had already found new owners and alone the sum for the flight on one of Nathaniel's Sleipnirs was enough to made her dizzy. She didn't dare to think about what Oliver and Harry would bring them. But at the end of the night they surely wouldn't have to worry about money for the orphans for quite some time.

"Ah Miss Granger," a voice behind her interrupted her thoughts. She turned around and greeted the man. whose eyes barely lost the twinkle in it theses days,with a warm smile.

"Headmaster, how wonderful that you could make it."

"Oh, it wouldn't cross my mind to miss a spectacular event such as this. Young Mister Malfoy and you have made a marvellous job of this." The headmaster praised their work and Hermione could feel a faint blush in her face. "I couldn't have come up with a better location myself." He added and she couldn't help but think for a moment he winked at her.

"Yes the manor is exactly what we had been looking for," she agreed without hesitation. Fawkes manor wasn't only big enough to accommodate hundreds of people but was also charmingly decorated and appeared conspicuous warm and friendly. Completely different from the other Pureblood homes she knew and from the thrilled reaction of most of their guests she wasn't alone with her admiration for Nathaniel's ancestral home.

The thought of the lord of the manor let her sigh inwardly and she couldn't help herself as her eyes searched the room for him. He was standing with an older couple and from the look of their bright smiling faces he obviously had turned his charm on. Hermione knew from experience that it wasn't easy to withstand it and if she was completely honest with herself she didn't want to any longer.

Their date a few days prior had been wonderful but left her slightly disappointed when he didn't even try to kiss her in the end. Of course she had been the one who made the rule of _no kissing _but he had made sure that she regretted it entirely. She hadn't stopped thinking about him since and it was slightly unnerving. Regardless of what she was doing, sooner or later her mind would zone out and she would start analysing her date. How Nathaniel managed to make her laugh, how easily it was to hold a decent conversation with him and if nothing else how much effort he had put in their date. She was sure nothing would ever be able to top it.

_Beside maybe a kiss from him,_ a voice in her head suggested.

"He is an interesting person, is he not?" She barely heard Dumbledore's voice as she let her eyes roam up and down Nathaniel's body. Like always he was dressed flawlessly in perfect fitting and very expensive looking robes. This time they were of a dark green and went perfectly with his eyes as she had noticed earlier this evening.

"Sometimes a glance says more than thousand words," the older wizard beside her chuckled and ripped her out of her state of awe and forced her to avert her eyes from the too good looking lord of the manor.

"What?" She spluttered and tried to fight the blush that started to rise in her cheeks.

"Life wasn't always kind to him, but deep down he is a good man Miss Granger, although he has the tendency to see the world mainly from his point of view," he told her before he added with a slightly worried voice. "And fear often causes us to act before thinking."

Baffled Hermione stared at him for a long moment. The fact that there was no twinkle in his eyes irritated her more than his actual words. She was just about to ask him what he was talking about when his expression changed into a smile and the twinkle was back in its familiar place.

"Ah, Nathaniel my boy," he exclaimed and made her jump as she realised that _he _must be standing directly behind her. Quickly she turned around only to be confronted with one of his heart melting smiles.

"Albus," he nodded in the direction of the headmaster before his eyes returned to hers. "Mione. Did somebody make the effort to tell you how stunning you look tonight?" He asked her and allowed his eyes to roam over her body much like the way she had eyed him up before. It wasn't the first time this evening that he complimented on her appearance but she found that she didn't mind it one bit. Somehow he never sounded cheesy but simply charmingly sincere. And the way his eyes wandered over her made her feel beautiful, powerful and more than anything else feminine. A feeling she wasn't very acquainted with.

"Yes," she nodded and hated how breathlessly her voice sounded. "In fact it was you who told me!"

"Well," he grinned and his green eyes sparkled. "You have to forgive a man for repeating himself when you look that breathtaking."

For at least th fifth time this evening she felt herself blushing furiously and it only got worse when she heard Dumbledore clear his throat behind them.

"I think I just saw Bill and Miss Delacour over there, I still haven't congratulated them on the birth of their second child." It was obvious Dumbledore was simply looking for a way to get away from them and Hermione felt mortified.

"I would be happy to see you more often, old friend. Though I understand that Miss Granger is far more lovely and charming company than myself I still hope you don't think about abandoning me completely." The old wizard winked at them before he added one of his typical riddles in Fawkes direction. "Sometimes it's necessary to embrace the past to have a future." And with that he was gone.

"Sometimes I just wish he would simply say what he means," Hermione mumbled staring after the older wizard. Nathaniel remained silent and when she looked at him she noticed that he seemed oddly stiff and his fists were clenched tightly.

"Nathaniel, is everything okay?"

She was just about to asked him again,when he finally ripped his eyes off Dumbledore's back and smiled at her, although his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

Frowning she wasn't sure what to make of his behaviour but it wasn't the first time he reacted oddly when his past was mentioned. He had no problems speaking about what life had been in his century and the changes he had witnessed over the time but as soon as things got too personal he blocked it completely.

_Like the curse, _Hermione reminded herself. She had asked him one or two times but finally accepted that he didn't want to speak about it and part of her understood his need to keep some things to himself. Of course she had spend hours in the library searching for a logical reason what kind of curse had the power to turn someone in a Phoenix -one of the purest magical creatures there was -and it was possible that she was the one who broke the curse.

With everything going on in the last two months she hadn't as much time for her research as she would have liked but hearing Dumbledore speaking about Nathaniel's past, she might change that over the next few days.

"The auction will continue in a few minutes, how about we see how it goes?" Fawkes ripped her out of her thoughts. "If I'm informed correctly the dances are next on the list and I fully intend to spend a generous amount of money, to open the dance with a very special witch."

His green eyes bored themselves so deep into her own, that she couldn't mistake the meaning of his words and she didn't have to wait long for the traitorous blush to appear.

"I'm nothing special," she objected embarrassed and averted her eyes from his. Even after all the effort Fawkes made with her she couldn't understand what he was seeing in her. She was simply plain Hermione Granger, while he was everything a girl could dream of. He _could _have anybody.

A finger under her chin forced her to raise her head and suddenly she was swallowed whole in the depth of his eyes. Once again she was in her dream where nothing had mattered apart from him.

"To me you are, my fairy princesses." He told her before he leant forward and planted a kiss on her forehead that caused a warm ripple to flow over her whole body and made her feel as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

He was extraordinary good in creating that feeling.

* * *

"Our next auction, if you may call it that, is entirely for the wizards, but I'm sure all witches will get their money's worth later when it comes to the highlights of the evening," the wizard who lead through the evening informed the crowed and George couldn't help but notice that Fred and he would have made a much better job entertaining the guests than a middle aged wizard who was smiling brightly at them. Surprisingly the thought didn't make him sad but put a light smile on his lips while he made his way through the crowd, searching for Hermione.

He had seen her only briefly due to the many things she still had to oversee at first and later because he was stopped every few meters by family and friends who seemed surprised but happy to see him outside the shop. George knew that a lot of them were worried about him but it surprised him how much he enjoyed himself. He hadn't noticed how much he missed a casual talk, a warm hug and the sight of familiar faces who smiled up at him when he walked up to them.

"Tonight is your chance to dance with real war heroines, gentlemen. And let me assure you these young ladies aren't only brave but beautiful too. And when you bid for your dance don't forget it's for a good cause." The man reminded the guests who looked curiously around to figure out who those witches would be.

"The first Lady, who is willing to spare you a dance is the lovely Miss Luna Lovegood." The wizard found some more words for Luna but George wasn't really listening. Again he let his eyes roam for Hermione before he looked back at the stage where Luna was standing, smiling brightly at everyone in the room. He had to admit that she looked very pretty in her midnight blue robes and her elegant hairstyle even though she was wearing some of her crazy earrings.

"So gentlemen let me hear-"

"Ten thousand gallons!" A voice interrupted the wizard before anyone else even had the chance to react. Whispers could be heard all over the room while everybody was looking for the man who was willing to spend that much money for a simple dance.

"Did I hear that right, ten thousand gallons, sir?"

"Yes," came the clear answer and a moment later the white blond head of Draco Malfoy could be seen in front of the stage, while the smile on Luna's face had become radiant.

George wasn't the only one who seemed surprised by the odd pairing but it was obvious from the looks they were giving each other that there was _more. _

_Who would have ever guessed, that Malfoy would fall for loony Lovegood? _George thought snorting but wasn't astonished when nobody else started to bid against him. Who could hope to overbid a Malfoy on something he had set his eyes on?

He turned his attention from the blond girl who happily allowed Malfoy to lead her from the stage to the rest of the room again but only long enough till his sister was announced. His head snapped automatically back and he couldn't help the growl that escaped him when the wizards started bidding for a dance with his baby sister.

_Did she have to smile at them like that? Didn't she realise that she was encouraging them?_

"One thousand three hundred!" Someone to his left called.

"Bloody wankers," George mumbled still looking at his sister who was dressed in a much to revealing dress for his taste.

"One thousand fife hundred!"

He had to remind himself that it was indeed just a dance and it was for a good cause. Still it didn't feel right and the feeling only got worse when it seemed that it was a Slytherin who came out ahead. Adrian Pucey.

He wasn't happy and even less when the grinning snake approached his sister who had the gall to smile down at the slimy snake.

Where the hell was Harry bloody Potter, when he was needed. Wasn't he dating Ginny? Wasn't he supposed to rescue her from the likes of Pucey?

"Three-thousand!"

"Do I hear more?"

George was looking around, this time for _the-boy-who-lived-only-to-be-killed-by-him _but couldn't find him. Instead he spotted Hermione at the end of the room who was talking to a wizard. He was standing with his back to him but George was sure that he had never seen him before.

"The dance goes to Mr. Adrian Pucey for Three-thousand gallons!"

"Harry better has a good excuse for letting a Slytherin dance with our sister," Charlie's voice appeared next to him and he ripped his eyes of the curly haired witch.

"Yes he better!" He nodded.

"Pity, Malfoy has taken interest in Luna but I can't blame him. She sure as hell looks hot in that dress."

"Who would have thought, hu?"

"Yeah," muttered Charlie who was still eyeing the blonde who was beaming at Malfoy. In the end he shrugged and turned his eyes to a group of pretty witches. "The night is young!" He announced and winked at them which resulted in a fit of giggles on their part.

Chuckling at his brothers antics he was just about to excuse himself when the older wizard announced the next _heroine._

"...Hermione Granger!"

In a blink of an eye his attention was back at the scene before him while his brother let out an admiring whistle as the witch in question walked up on the stage. Her burgundy dress robes fitted her body perfectly and showed clearly that Hermione Granger was a full grown woman.

A very desirable woman.

"I always knew that Ron wasn't the brightest bulb out there, but he has to be a complete idiot to let someone like her go. I mean she has the looks _and _a brain not to forget a loyal soul." Charlie seemed to be in a chatty mood today and obviously wasn't bothered about his short-spoken behaviour. Since Fred he wasn't much for talking, though tonight he didn't mind so much.

"He doesn't deserve her anyway!" _Not after all he had done. _

"Stupid," Charlie muttered again and shook his head while he listened to the wizard who introduced Hermione to the crowd, as if there was a living soul out there who didn't know who she was. As member, and only girl of the golden trio, Hermione was nearly as famous as Harry himself.

"...on you gentlemen. We start with one-hundred gallons."

He was just about to open his mouth and announce his bid but another wizard beat him to it.

"Fife-hundred."

"Fife-hundred from the wizard with the back hair in the front."

"Six-hundred!"

"Eight-hundred!"

"Nine-hundred!" This time the voice came from his right and George didn't need long to realise that it was the wizard in the green robes who had talked to Hermione before.

"What do you think, should we join the battle?" Charlie joked and George could only clench his yaw as he heard the wizards trying to overbid the others for a dance with a war heroine. But then he realised that he had absolute no reason to act...jealously. If he wanted a dance with Hermione all he had to do was ask. Sighing inwardly he reminded himself that he should take it slow and easy.

"Two-thousand!"

"Tree!"

"Four!"

"Five!"

"Six!"

"I guess, the orphans will not have to worry about anything for a long while," Charlie chuckled and watched the fight between the dark haired boy and the wizard in the green robes. All others seemed to have capitulated and enjoyed the match as well as the blushing war heroine.

"Seven!" The dark haired boy gritted out obviously annoyed at his competitor who was standing close enough to see the bright grin that graced his face.

"Eight!"

"Nine!"

"Ten and a new building for the orphanage!"

"Oi, someone's obviously quite taken with our Mione!"

_Obviously! _George agreed silently and took a better look at the wizard while the crowd was still gasping and whispering about his bid. He was tall, good looking and from the perfect fit of his clothes George would bet his shop that he was a Pureblood and from the sum of his bid it was quite obvious he was rich,too.

The way he was looking at Mione made it clear that he would bid his last gallon if he had to get that dance and from the shocked but happy expression on Hermione's face it was clear that she wasn't unhappy with how things seemed to develop. She was still blushing like mad visibly a bit overwhelmed by her popularity but the smile on her face was bright and happy as she looked at the wizard.

Maybe a bit too happy, George noticed and sighed again as he watched the wizard´s smile brighten when nobody started to bid against him any more.

"The dance with Miss Granger goes to the gentleman in the green robes for ten-thousand gallons and a new building for the orphanage," announced the older wizard not the slightest bit taken aback from the sum a few simple dances had earned the charity.

The crowe started clapping politely as the visibly pleased wizard walked up to the front to collect the witch for his dance. Hermione's smile got impossible bright as he took her hand to place a kiss on the back before he guided her back to the floor, not once letting go of her hand.

While the wizard on stage reminded the crowd that the next auction would be after a short break for the dance and Charlie excused him to join the still giggling group of witches all he could do was stare at the pair that had found its way to the dance floor.

The way he was holding her to him and she leant against him seemed so natural that George was asking himself if there wasn't more between them. They didn't appear as cozy as Malfoy and Luna who was practically melting in the blond man's arms but close.

It was the way she looked at him that brought him to realise how foolish his earlier thoughts had been.

Why would she be interested in being more than friends with him if she had this handsome wizard who obviously adored her and other than him wasn't broken?

This time he didn't make an effort to hide his sigh.

* * *

Nathaniel was kissing her!

They had danced and talked and danced...and...and...Hermione's brain wasn't working properly but right at this moment she couldn't care less. All that mattered was the pair of warm inviting lips of the wizard in front of her who was holding her against him, cradling the back of her head as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him, and kissing her as if his life depended on it.

She had dreamed openly about this kiss ever since their date and even longer if she was honest with herself but none of her dreams could compare to the reality of his kisses. Though she was comparatively inexperienced for a girl her age she had kissed a handful of blokes but none of her experiences with them came even close to what it felt like to kiss Nathaniel. Not even Victor who had been her first kiss and therefore would always feel special.

The kiss felt exactly the way every girl dreamed about: soft, warm and powerful. Knee-weakening powerful and she didn't doubt that his arms around her were the only reason she was still standing upright.

Hermione tried to protest when he finally leant back and pulled his lips away from hers. She didn't want to stop yet and before he could protest her arms were around his neck and she pulled him down again. This time she was the one who initiated the kiss but from his enthusiastic response he didn't seem to mind much. Never before had she been so daring in her life but the feeling of his lips against hers didn't even allow her modesty to take over.

It was only for the lack of air that they pulled away from each other the second time. Both of them were breathing hard and Hermione felt a shudder run down her spine each time his warm breath tickled the skin of her cheek. She noticed that she was still holding him against her but couldn't find it in her to let him go and since he hadn't loosened his grip either she thought it would be okay.

"Happy new year, princess!"

"Happy new year to you, too," she smiled and for the fist time noticed all the noise around her. The guests were watching excitedly the phenomenal fireworks George Weasley had worked out just for tonight. For a long moment they simply remained in a close embrace and watched the fireworks illuminating the air: Dragons, imps and centaurs filled the sky and a lot of ohs and ahs could be heard from the people around them. Though she had often witnessed the twins fireworks it never failed to amaze her. And she couldn't help but sigh sadly when it was finally over.

Still feeling a little dizzy from the kiss she leant back a bit so she could look at him. Nathaniel was watching her with a mix of awe and confusion on his face till finally his expression turned into a bright smile which let his eyes appear even darker.

"What do you think, do I get another dance for free?"

Again she blushed when she thought about the scandalous sum he had bid for a simple dance with her.

"You know you would have gotten the first one for free as well. You simply had to ask me, Nathaniel," she told him calmly.

"And allow that Campell boy to win you? Only over my cold dead body!"

Hermione blinked surprised at the forcefulness in his tone and frowned. "He would have won a dance, not me. I'm not a prize."

Other than Ron who would have simply snorted Nathaniel sighed. "Of course you are not, but I don't like him. He wants you for himself and I'm not willing to give him a chance to snatch you away from me. Not now. Not after you finally seem to take my wooing serious!"

Hermione blushed. "Wooing?" That sounded so old.-fashioned but the girl in her couldn't help but squeal inwardly with excitement.

This time it was his turn to blink if she had just asked him the most stupid question. "What do you think I was doing when I asked you out over and over again and practically stalked you everywhere you went?" He asked calmly but from the look in his eyes Hermione could tell that he was tense and obviously a bit shocked that he had to ask her such a thing.

"Well, um...I thought. Well I'm not sure. I guess I still thought it's your way of showing gratitude, you know because of the curse breaking. At least in the beginning," she added hastily as she saw he was about to interrupt. "And now..." she trailed off not sure how to continue. Though she knew what she wished it to be she still wasn't sure about his intentions.

"And now?" His green eyes were so intense that she wasn't able to turn away from them even if she wanted to.

"I'm not sure," she told him honestly.

"I'm not wooing you out of gratitude or pity like some of this silly rumours claim. And I'm not interested in your status as war heroine or brightest witch of your age. I simply want you for yourself, Hermione. For me you are my soul mate and I'm not willing to let you go."

Stunned into stupor she stared up at him.

"Soul mate?" When she finally found her voice again it wasn't much more than a whisper. She didn't believe in Divination and soul mating was definitely one of those crazy things Trelawney would come up with.

He shrugged but smiled at her. "Call it whatever you like, you are _it _for me."

"It," she repeated a bit stupidly.

"Yes ! You know the one witch I want at my side. Period."

"Oh!" Oh indeed!

The words 'soul mate', 'it' and 'period at my side' twirled in her head till she felt dizzy again but this time she found the strength to use her brain. "You mean it? Just me?" She asked nearly timidly as she remembered Ron´s hurtful words and the spiteful rumours she had heard about herself. Could a man like Nathaniel simply be interested in being with her -boring, plain Hermione Granger?

"You are neither boring or plain and I assure you I am."

She blushed deeply as she realised that she must have spoken the last part out loud but still didn't find it in her to turn her eyes from his.

"So? Will you allow me to woo you further?"

"I would like that very much Nathaniel!"

He was beaming so brightly at her that she couldn't help but smile back at him and as he leant forward in search of a kiss she happily looped her arms around him once again.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks and cookies to: **

**Mfoto, JC1988, LadyBookworm80,**

**lucyferr: I'm sure you're not so happy about the George part in this chappie but there will be a bit more in later chapters. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. **

**Darkness-Lightness: You know, you are the first person who ever really asked me about the curse...^^ There will be more in the next chapter. **

**And: HermioneSnape: wow...I'm still flattered and happy that you liked my story enough to write your own Fawkes story.**


	10. 1 January 30 January

Disclaimer: look chapter one!

I'm so sorry it took me so long, bur RL kept me busy!

**cyiusblack, Darkness-Lightness, HermioneSnape, pinkpaws-marauder, MistraRose, Brass Camera, Vampric Dragoness, sucbatrex and Living in the Clouds thank you so much for your review. **

I hope you enjoy this!

* * *

Chapter 10:

_1. January – 31. January_

_The woman was moaning and writhing beneath him in a way that showed Nathaniel that she was simply playing her part, but he didn't care. He actually didn't even know her name, not that it mattered. He hadn't seduced her to give her a good time but simply to find some release of his pent-up...pressure. _

_He liked Isabelle and other as the wench beneath him he respected his future wife. But a man could only take so long without a quick tumble between the sheets and he wouldn't disgrace his little Belle by taking her before their wedding night. _

_Much to his disappointment though, his little interludes weren't as good as they used to be. Somehow it wasn't that satisfying any more, not to mention he could barely stand the brainless chatter or the not so subtle hints about marriage these days. His betrothal obviously hadn't changed their silly efforts to become the future Mrs. Fawkes. _

_As if he would ever consider one of this greedy slags, even without Isabelle in the picture. The thought of his fiancée made him instantly groan deep in his chest as he pictured her lying in his bed, moaning his name in pleasure and clutching his back for support. Her gold blond hair would fan around her head like a halo much like it did the afternoon they had a picnic on their grounds and she had let herself fall backwards into the soft summer grass. Nathaniel hadn't been able to resist and leant above her. To him she had looked like an angel and he had kissed her. _

_He was ripped rather harshly out of his dreamy state as the taste of firewhiskey invaded his mouth. Ripping his lips away from the witch, he had to blink a time or two to realise it wasn't Isabelle he had kissed. His Belle tasted sweet and her kisses were soft, nothing like the sloppy, foul tasting one he just received._

_What in Merlin's name was he doing here? But even as he felt disgusted with himself thinking of Isabelle while laying with another, he didn't stop his hips from gyrating. Quite the contrary, he firmly pinned the hands of the nameless woman over her head and started to pump into the witch more forcefully, nearly violently which only brought a series of thrilled noises out of her. Somehow that disgusted him even more and with the disgust came anger. _

_He looked down at the woman with a nasty sneer on his face, while he forced himself deeper and faster inside her but she was so lost in her own sensations that she didn't even noticed it. _

"_Oh Nathaniel!"_

"_Don't talk to me!" he spat. This all felt so wrong._

"_Nathaniel!" _

_Fawkes was just about to yell at her to shut the hell up, when he noticed the broken voice didn't come from the woman beneath him. With a start he rolled off of the obviously surprised redhead and looked to the door. There, dressed in one of his favourite robes, with wide open eyes and open mouth was Isabelle. She looked even smaller than usually as her eyes flickered between him and the nameless witch who didn't even have the decency to cover herself. _

"_Nathaniel...what...why...I don't understand," she whispered and Fawkes could see she had a hard time holding back her tears and he could feel his own panic rise in his chest. _

"_Belle, it isn't..." he shut himself short before he could end that sentence. She didn't deserve that. Although it was by no means unusual to have a mistress beside his wife, he understood that Isabelle was too innocent and kind-hearted to understand or accept that._

_The hurt and betrayal was written clearly in her eyes, which weren't able to hold back her tears any longer. Thick, clear drops were running down her cheeks and each and every single one was like a stab in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms but as soon as he tried to stand up she made a step back. _

"_She doesn't mean anything to me, Belle. I don't even know her name, she is just a way to release some pressure." He winced as soon as the words were out. It wasn't helping that the stupid slag was shamelessly sprawling on the bed beside him and started to drew patterns on his back. He jumped out of the bed as if he had been burned, his hand clutching to the sheet around his middle. _

"_Belle-"_

"_Don't," she sobbed and he felt as if someone had stabbed him. "I...I thought you were different. I thought...I thought you really li-liked me," she hiccuped. "I'm so stu-stupid. I-I love you so much and you..." she stopped there shaking with tears while the stupid slag behind him had the gall to chuckle which distracted him for the blink of an eye. _

"_I hate you! I wish I had never met you!" Isabelle sobbed and with that she ribbed the diamond ring from her finger and threw it at him before she turned around and escaped through the door. _

"No!" Like so many years before Nathaniel jumped out of his bed over to the door but nobody was there. Isabelle was gone and this time it was forever.

Breathing heavily he leant against the dark wood before he glided down to the floor. He had been so stupid, so utterly stupid.

Sex was nice and fun but none of his pretty but brainless conquests had been worth the price he had paid in the end. The price wasn't fair, also he knew that had done wrong. That it was his fault...at the very least he should have followed Isabelle.

At least that.

Instead he had turned to the witch on his bed, had gripped her hair and kicked the screaming and still naked woman out of his room before he killed an entirely bottle of firewhiskey to drown his remorse.

Even now he could see her tear strained face clearly before his eyes, as if she had just left him and for the second time in his life he made the same mistake again. Instead of seeking out his witch and come clear with her, he drowned his self-pity and remorse in firewhiskey.

Nathaniel should have known better.

* * *

Draco Malfoy slowly browsed through a dusty part of the family library, while he was lightly humming to himself. A year or even some months ago it wouldn't even have crossed his mind to do something that outrageous. A Malfoy never expressed his feelings, regardless of their nature. His father had thumped that into him since he had been a small child. But things had changed, now that Lucius Malfoy wasn't any longer. Not that he would ever allow someone else to see him like this, but it was a start.

_Well maybe Luna_. But after all she was the whole reason he was humming in the first place. For a moment he stopped searching through the bookshelves, as a mental picture of her appeared in front of his eyes. Her blue eyes beaming brightly at him and her lips covert with a soft smile.

"Whipped," he mumbled with a snort but the smile remained on his lips. He couldn't really find it in him to be ashamed of his feelings for the blonde. She had been in his thoughts ever since the dreadful time she had spend in their dungeon but it wasn't before the Halloween feast that he couldn't stop thinking about her. And luckily she had given him a chance.

Draco had been with a lot of girls in his barely nineteen years. He had dated a handful, had his fair share of sex and kissed even more but not one of them had made him feel like Luna did.

Hell, he hadn't even been aware that he could feel the way he did around her. At times it was pretty frightening but after a few deep breaths and a look at her face, he usually mastered to get a grip on himself. But mostly he simply enjoyed her company. With her around he felt oddly at peace and he could allow himself to lower his defensive walls and simply be himself. Not the Malfoy heir or prince of Slytherin just Draco, who was a lot less spectacular than many claimed him to be. But it seemed enough for her and he was clever enough not to question a good thing when it was happening to him.

So it was only understandable that he wanted her to be happy. And if the odd creatures she was always talking about made her happy so mote it be. Merlin, he was even standing in his own library looking for books about rare creatures so he could surprise her tomorrow.

"Definitely whipped," he muttered again and pulled another book out of the shelve that looked interesting enough.

_Magical creatures -Curses, cures and curiosities, _was engraved in gold letters above the thick leather cover. It looked old from the sight of the worn of leather and faded letters but it was the odd title that had him frowning.

Curious he skimmed threw the pages, careful to not damage the old paper. The book was handwritten which wasn't odd considering its age but what had him frowning was that the texts were written in different handwritings and the pictures looked like they had been added by different persons too. It appeared more like a collection, ideas, facts and experiences gathered over a long time period than an actual book.

Before he knew it Draco was engrossed in fascinating facts about unicorns, dragons, hippogriffs and thestrals. Possibilities that never before crossed his mind about uses in potions, herbology and various other fields were carefully written on each page. What made him worry though were notes about curses and dubious suggestions that had all alarm bells in his head ringing. It wasn't dark magic in itself but it wasn't far away from it either.

Slowly he turned the page and stared at the very skilful drawing of another magical creature. This one was a phoenix. It wasn't gold and red like Fawkes had been but almost of a complete blood red colour bar a few feathers that shimmered silver white. He had never seen another phoenix apart from Fawkes so he had no idea if there was a normal colour for these creatures or if the headmaster's pet had been special due to the unusual circumstances. Anyway it wasn't the bird in itself that had him staring but the cycle that was pictured.

Instead of the normal bird-fire-ashes-bird cycle there was another cycle added. One where the creature was a wizard before it was turned into a bird while in the middle of it all all was the picture of a witch. Both wizard and witch were marked with runes. _Nyd _the rune of hardship, destiny and need was painted on him while _Beroc _the rune of womankind and femininity decorated her. Runes wasn't his best class so he had to look it up later what each of them represented beyond what he knew about them but for the moment he was more interested in the text on the next page.

Draco could feel his breath hitch in the back of his throat for a moment before a sore expression sprawled over his face.

It seemed it was time for a little talk.

* * *

Nathaniel was so drunk that he was astonished that he was even able to remember where he had put _it,_ let alone to coordinate his legs to bring him across the room. But somehow he managed to stumble from one side to the other till he finally reached the old desk and sunk down on the chair. Clumsily his fingers started to nestle on the wood directly beside the drawer on the right side before he remembered that he had to use his wand to open the secret case. Slurring the indication he had to try five times till he was finally able to reveal his childhood hiding place.

It was magically enlarged and filled with all kind of _treasures _so he had to rummage around it for a bit, before he finally found what he was looking for. But finally he was holding the small box between his fingers and opened it. He felt nauseous and his vision was more than a bit blurry but somehow he managed to focus enough to get a passable view on the petite diamond ring sparkle in the dim light of the room. It was still as beautiful as the day he brought it -a perfect stone for a perfect woman.

Unfortunately it seemed that he wasn't the perfect man. And he wouldn't even be a man for much longer if he mucked it up a second time. The problem was that he would muck it up either way. Nathaniel knew that there was a right and an easy way -well not _so _easy if he was honest -but he couldn't bring himself to take a risk. Not if it was himself -his sanity, life and future that he was risking. No he couldn't do that. Even after all that happened he didn't find it in him to open up to her and well talk to her. That would mean that he had to be honest and honesty meant vulnerability and that...that meant...perdition.

And next time he would have no hopes for salvation.

His vision was getting more fuzzy with every passing moment and the fact that he felt as if someone had spun him around for longer than was good for anyone was the only warning he got before his vision got black and he sunk onto his outstretched arms.

* * *

"_Where is he?" The shrill voice of a woman could be heard through the manor. Nathaniel mind was still foggy and his head felt as if it would burst every moment if he wasn't careful. So the loud, piercing voice didn't do anything for him. Unfortunately for him, the noises weren't only getting louder but seemed to get closer too. _

"_Madame I must -" A male voice -from the sound of is his very irritated father tried, but the woman would have none of it. _

"_Don't you Madame me," she screamed, her voice nearly overturning before she changed into a language that sounded suspicions like Italian. Something in his subconscious tried to inform him that that piece of information was important but instead of listening to his inner voice, he shut his eyes close, pulled the sheet over his head and tried to ignore his monstrous hang-over. _

"_Madame! You're forgetting yourself!" By now his father sounded angry, but was still trying to sooth the furious woman. "I think it would be best if you returned to you home until you' have cooled off, Lady Hend-"_

"_Don't you dare to patronise me," the woman interrupted him again. "I thought you and your family were noble and genuine people. I believed my husband when he told me I had nothing to worry about. That our little Liebling_ _would be in good hands. That your son would treat her the way she deserved it!" _

_Something about the sound of her voice wasn't right, Nathaniel noticed though his foggy perception. Well, apart from the impossible high pitched tone. _

"_Look what he did to her!" _

_And than it clicked. The woman was sobbing. That was what made her sound so weird. Again his brain tried to tell him that this little fact was important. That it should tell him something, but all he could focus on was the throbbing pain behind his forehead. _

"_He is responsible for what happened to her! He destroyed meinen kleinen Schatz!" The witch howled and as if someone had pulled a switch in his brain he bolted upright so fast, he nearly fell out of his bed. _

"_Isabelle!" His mind screamed and his legs unsuccessfully tried to fight off the sheets, so he could stand up, while his brain tried to put all the pieces together. Merlin! It was Madame Henderson who was screeching like a banshee at his father. _

_A fearsome woman even without the raised voice, he remembered from the few times he had met her, but very devoted to her family. Belle had told him that she was from a very old wizard circle in Germany which she had left to be with Lord Henderson. A bond out of love, instead of money, power or wedding contracts between the families, which was highly uncommon. Maybe that was the source of Belles overly romantic views. _

_Thinking about Isabelle once again made him feel disgusted with himself, but this time fear was accompanying that feeling._

"_Madame, what in Merlin's bloody name are you talking about," the fact that his father was cursing, which only happened on rare occasions, was a dead proof sign that he was on the verge of exploding. But there also was an underlying tone of unease. "I'm sure whatever misconception -" _

"_Misconception?" The fury interrupted the lord and master of the home and her voice boomed through the house as if she was using a sonorus charm. "You and your son may call it a misconception but where I come form it is an unforgivable humiliation! I should never have given in to my husbands pleas to move back to England. This country contains nothing but misery for us. All the sacrifice I've already made and now my daughter," the woman sobbed. "My beautiful, little daughter!"_

_Finally Nathaniel managed to stand up and after a moment of dizziness he even got his feet to carry him through the room. Once in motion it wasn't as hard as he feared it to be and although his head still hurt like hell he was determined to find out what the uproar was about. _

_Apart from the obvious -the clearer part of his brain remained him. But it was also that part who pushed him forward. Urging him to find out if there was more. _

_If he had thought the woman's voice loud before it was nothing compared to what his father must be experiencing. The more corners he rounded and the nearer he got the shriller and louder the voice got, till it reached a point where he almost covered his ears and turned around to find a calmer place where he could his massive hangover. _

_But he couldn't stop his feet from walking towards the source of the noises. It was his fathers turn again to sooth the woman, when he turned around the corner into the corridor where Madame Henderson, his father and a lot of frantic house-elves were standing. _

_The similarity between mother and daughter was undeniable. Both possessed beautiful golden hair and striking blue eyes that could easily capture the attention of anyone they liked. Other than Isabelle though, she was quite small. But the way she was holding herself upright, let alone the magic cracking around her like an angry swarm of bees made up for that. _

_Nathaniel hadn't much more time to look at the woman before her eyes fell on him and if it was possible the fury in them rose even further. If looks could kill he would have dropped dead on the floor. _

"_YOU!" she spat and hadn't it been for his fathers quick reaction would have done more than simply raised her wand. _

"_Madame, I demand that you leave my home! Now!" All compassion and calm was gone from his fathers voice and Nathaniel knew from experience that this was a bad sign. _

"_You killed her! You killed her!" Madame Henderson didn't seemed impressed in the slightest by his __father. Truth to be told she didn't even acknowledge him. Not even as he took her wand from her. Her eyes were steadily fixed on him while her finger pointed accusingly in his direction. _

"_Killed her?" He choked and suddenly he felt oddly sober. Gone was the dizziness and he if someone had hit him with a bludger he couldn't have been more shocked. _

_He knew that he had hurt her -badly and he felt disgusted with himself but.. "I -I don't understand?" he finally stuttered, his tongue still a bit heavy. _

"_Don't think I don't know what you have done! You men are all the same. I tried to warn her," the woman spat while tears were still flowing down her cheeks. "But she wouldn't hear any of that. She said that you were different. That you would be her Märchenprinz, she dreamt about since she was a little girl. She believed you to be her Seelengefährte," she snorted. "As if someone like you could ever be her soul mate!" _

_Nathaniel could feel himself wince although it had more to do with his father´s sharp look than the angry woman. Slowly the older Fawkes seemed to get a picture of the finer details. _

"_You destroyed her, with what you did. I tried to comfort her, but words were not enough to nurse her bleeding heart, so she tried to stop the hurt the only way she could think of." _

_A feeling of fear found its way into his body and squeezed his heart in an uncomfortable grasp. "What, did she do?" he whispered. Not sure if he wanted to hear the answer._

_For a long moment there was nothing but deadly silence. Slowly he dared to look into the eyes of the golden haired woman who looked so regal and dangerous that it was sending chills down his spine. But as if his question had drenched all energy out of her she remained silent. _

"_What what did she do?" he pressed on. He needed to know. _

_Blue eyes, that were so much like Isabelle's but coevally so much harder and unyielding stared at him and he had the feeling she could look into his soul. _

"_She tried to kill herself in the river not far from our home." Her tone was much too calm for his taste all too sudden and before his father could intervene she had stepped in front of him. "The healers did all they could and all that could be done now is wait and hope," she whispered. "But there is no will left in her. You took that from her." _

_He opened his mouth to say something. Anything, but no word would came out of it. _

"_I hold you responsible for it," Madame Henderson voice suddenly seemed to have found its lost energy. She wasn't screaming or screeching like before but she wasn't whispering either. Instead her voice was ice clear and didn't leave any room to answer back. "You destroyed her, and I curse you for it." And suddenly she changed into another language he didn't understand. _

"_Ich verfluche dich, Nathaniel Fawkes. Wie einst Odin sollst du Leiden und Schmerzen erfahren auf dass du in ihnen Weisheit erwirbst. Brennen sollst du und zu Asche vergehen nur um wieder auf zu erstehen. Deine Stimme soll anderen Trost spenden, doch selber sollst du keinen erfahren. Deine Tränen sollen Leben retten, doch niemals dein eigenes Leid stillen. Lasten sollst du tragen, so schwer wie neun Mann, doch die Last deines Herzen soll dich stets erdrücken. Nur die die deiner Seele ebenbürtig ist soll die Macht haben den Kreis zu brechen. " _

_Even though he didn't understand a single word he couldn't stop the shivers that were running down his spine. Whatever curse she was using, it was powerful he could feel it even without the magic crackling around her body. _

"_'Vom Fest der Toten bis zum Fest des Feuers soll es dir gewährt sein um sie zu werben, wie es Recht ist. Doch gelingt es dir nicht sie für dich zu gewinnen soll das Feuer dich erneut verschlingen auf dass du aus der Asche wieder auferstehst. Ohne Hoffnung auf Erlösung. Für alle Zeit."_

_And with a cruel little smile she finished it. "So mote it be!" _

„_NO!"_

* * *

It was his own cry, which woke him from his dream this time. He was still sitting in front of his desk, his clothes damp from cold sweat and his head throbbing like hell. Nathaniel wished, not for the fist time, that he taken her more seriously. Though he had feared her words while she spoke them, he soon shrugged them off, as nothing happened, as a desperate try of a hurt mother to frighten him.

Two weeks later he was punished thoroughly for his arrogance and carelessness. He didn't even remember his last moments as a human, since all he did in the days after Madame Henderson left was wallowing in self pity with the help of an extra large bottle of his father´s best Fire Whiskey.

His father was far from being amused after hearing what really happened between Isabelle and him and also he wasn't really happy about Madame Henderson`s _performance _he blamed him. Not for having a mistress, mind you, but for being stupid enough to get caught in the act, literally and in consequence destroying every chance to bind their families together.

Isabelle was all that was on his mind, but not once did he think of visiting her and eventually ask for forgiveness or at least look after how she was doing. No, he couldn't bear the thought of being eyed with the same look she gave him before she left his chamber.

He had been such a coward.

"And you still are," he muttered to himself before he pushed himself up and walked to the bathroom. He knew the right thing would be to talk to Hermione and explain things to her. Not only his past with Isabelle and the curse but also the situation between the two of them.

He should tell her the truth. But like the fearsome coward he was he didn't.

* * *

Hermione was happy. Genuinely happy.

The auction had been a complete success and the money from it would help a lot of orphans in the future. After all that happened in the war they shouldn't have to worry about money. _And now there was no need for that_.

Harry was trying to make up for the last month and she was willing to make it work. She had missed her best friend terrible, and although she couldn't overlook his past behaviour she was sure that they would find back to each other. Maybe not to the point they once were but to something more real and stable. In the past they had been thrown together mainly because of Voldemort. With him gone now they had to find a solid base with there friendship that could withstand day to day problems.

Funny that that seemed so much harder than fighting the darkest wizard of all times.

Ron on the other hand was a complete different matter. He had stopped making side comments, though he didn't stop other from making them. Specially Lavender seemed more hostile than usual towards her, probably to make up for Ron's silence.

Hermione wasn't sure what to make of it, honestly. The sneer on his face when ever he was looking at her had chanced into an odd mixture of anger and shame but most of the time these days he made an effort to avoid looking at her at all. It still hurt to be treated like trash after everything they had been trough, but she wasn't willing any longer to let that affect her happiness.

And with a warm feeling, her thoughts turned towards Nathaniel. The last month seemed like a part out of someone else´s life. Hermione Granger could never have so much luck as finding someone like Nathaniel. It felt to much like a silly, hidden wish come true and she had to remind herself frequently that she wasn't dreaming.

Not since she had started at Hogwarts had she felt that hopeful and excited. Back than her hopes emerged from the wish to be finally accepted. To finally find a place where she was like everybody else, with children who didn't fear her abilities and would understand her thirst of knowledge.

Of course it hadn't taken her long to realise that she would never be like everyone else. Even here in the Wizarding world she was different. Her blood and intelligence had always separated her from the world that should have welcomed her, but in the end she had found her place. She had to fight for it, bore insults and even torture and although a lot of things had changed she knew that the fighting would never end, but somewhere between it all she had found her place.

With Nathaniel she had hopes to fulfil her long lost longing of companionship and love. Since New Years eve they had spend nearly every day together. Talking, laughing, reading while simply enjoying each others company and kissing. A lot of kissing, Hermione thought with a fluttering heart and a warm smile on her lips.

She had not much to compare him to, but Merlin Victor's and Ron's kisses had never affected her the way Nathaniel could. Those two never managed to raise that funny feeling in her -like she was running on adrenaline and could burst every moment from the sheer amount of energy that ran through her body. She could get easily drunk on his kisses and from the way he was responding to her, she hoped he felt the same. He sure was as hell was as eager to be near her, touch her and speak to her as she was. That feeling was completely alien to her but likewise she felt that she could get accustomed to it easily.

Today was the last weekend in January and she had promised Nathaniel that she would spend it with him in Fawkes manor, since she was nineteen she was free to spend the weekends as she pleased. They planned to take a ride with the Sleipnirs and explore the grounds of his property some more. They had done that before and it had been a lot of fun, although it was ice cold and she couldn't feel her fingers afterwards.

Snuggling and kissing with Nathaniel on the couch in front of the fire afterwards had been even more fun, she thought and could feel her cheeks heating up a bit as the memory crossed her mind.

With quick steps and a silly smile on her face she crossed the last corner and hurried towards the guest quarters where Nathaniel was staying. She had agreed to meet him there, after she had her breakfast with Remus and Teddy.

The witch in the paining in front of his doors, an old witch in a bright purple dress, wasn't in the frame so she was just about to knock, when she heard voices from the inside.

Hermione was more than a little surprised when she noticed that the second voice belonged to Draco. It was odd, because she never had the feeling that those two liked each other very much, though it was always hard to tell with the blonde, even though he had changed in some ways.

"...know enough!"

"I'm sure I have no idea, what you are talking about." Nathaniel sounded irritated and although it wasn't like her to eavesdrop on others, her raised hand stopped in mid air.

"Oh, save the act," Draco drawled and sounded entirely like the spoiled boy she remembered form her previous school years. "I'm not some stupid Hufflepuff or one of those goody-goody Gryffindors."

There was along pause before Fawkes finally responded. "And what do you want?"

"I want you to tell her," Draco's ice cold voice answered without hesitation, "I want you to tell Granger the truth! About the curse and why you are so determined to claim her."

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, but I make it my business!"

As if someone had spilled a bucket of ice water over her Hermione felt her smile and happiness fading away, before she slowly lowered her hand.

The truth? Hermione remembered that she wanted to ask him about the curse all along but somehow simply forgot about it with the events in the past month.

So there was more to the curse and to why he was so eager to spend time with her, she added. That hurt. It hurt a lot, but now she wanted to know more and the best way it seemed was to simply wait and listen.

Hesitantly she pressed her ear against the door.

TBC

* * *

**A/N**: I used my mother language for **the curse**. So here is the translation

part 1

_I curse you, Nathaniel Fawkes. Like Odin you shall suffer and experience pain in order to gain wisdom. You shall burn to ashes only to rise again. Your voice shall give comfort to others yet you shall never be comforted. Your tears shall save lifes yet your own suffering shall not be ended._

_You shall carry the burden of nine man, yet the burden of your own heart shall always crush you._

_Only the one who is equal to your soul will have the power to break this circle._

part 2

_You may be granted the time from the feast of the dead until the feast of fire to court her as it is proper. If you fail to gain her favour fire shall once again consume you and you shall rise from the ashes. Without hope for salvation. For evermore._

**The runes: **

_Nyd: _the rune of hardship, destiny and need. It symbolize Odins sacrifice of the nine days and nights he hung stabbed (by his own spear) against Yggdrasil to gain wisdom through pain and exhaustion.

_Beroc: _the rune of womankind and femininity decorated her.

* * *

_**A/N: First: Please don't kill me for the cliffhanger. **_

_**I know this is not what some of you hoped for but there was a reason Nathaniel was cursed after all. But, this story isn't finished yet and there is still hope...**_

_**So let me hear what you think^^**_


	11. 31 January 23 February

Disclaimer: look chapter one

**A/N:** I was shocked when I saw the date of my last update, but RL got in the way. I'm sure you all know what I mean. I just started my first job after I finished my exams and there isn't much time for writing any more.

**About this story:** I'm not really happy with this fic. A lot of time passed by since I wrote the first chapter and now I'm not sure where to go with it any longer. It feels as if I've lost my connection to the characters. But I'm unwilling to abandon "Phoenix" so I looked it over and tried to come up with some ideas. There is a plan how I wish to end this story, but I'm not sure if it will work or how long it will take me to do so.

So please be patient with me and let me hear what you think!

* * *

Chapter 11:

_31. January – 23. February _

_A knock on the door ripped Nathaniel out of his thoughts. Surprised but nonetheless happy that Hermione had made it this early he hurried to let her in. _

„_Princess, you -" he stopped mid-sentence, "Changed," he added lamely as he stared at none other than Draco Malfoy. "What do you want?" _

"_We have to talk!" Without waiting for an invitation the blond boy stepped into the room and made himself comfortable in the chair he'd occupied mere minutes ago. Arrogance and the annoying attitude to overtake a place as if they owned it were obviously hereditary in the Malfoy line. _

_Fawkes knew he was a good friend to Hermione, but he didn't care much for the smug prat and wasn't in any mood to talk to him. "Sorry, but whatever it is will have to wait. Hermione will be here any minute."_

"_Too bad." _

"_Fine. What do you want to talk about?" _

"_A book," Draco replied nonchalantly while studying his fingernails. _

"_As interesting as that could be, I really have no time for your reading session." Nathaniel was quickly losing his patience and was about to compliment Draco personally out of his quarters when the annoying blonde decided to open his mouth again. _

"_It is a very interesting book about magical creatures and what gain they possess in various subjects."_

"_Fascinating!" _

"_Quite."_

_An uncomfortable silence stretched over them and Fawkes was once again tempted to throw Draco out. Stomping over to the door he was just about to rip it open when Draco once again decided to grace him with the sound of his voice. _

"_It contained all kinds of long forgotten spells, potions, myths and curses." The way Malfoy pronounced the last word put a cold chill down his back. "It is a very old grimoire indeed. Priceless these days. I'm sure Hermione will just love to get her hands on it."_

_Nathaniel stopped in mid step and turned sharply towards the blonde but wasn't stupid enough to take the bait. He simply waited for the other man to continue. _

"_There was an interesting chapter about Phenix, about their origin and probably the reason why they are so rare. Seems like you are a dying breed. Although I'm sure the sole reason for that is the forgotten knowledge not the lack of potential candidates."_

"_I'm sure I have no idea, what you are talking about."_

"_Oh, save the act," Draco drawled. "I'm not some stupid Hufflepuff or one of those goody-goody Gryffindors." _

_Unfortunately he was right in that aspect, Slytherins were far from being stupid but they also tended to use the information they found to their best advantage. He himself was sorted into the same house, so he knew what he was talking about. What he didn't know was how much Draco really knew and how much he was making up. Maybe the prat was only suspecting something and was now fishing for information. _

_Nathaniel had to be careful but likewise couldn't deny that he was curious and maybe a bit afraid. Well maybe threatened was more like it. The Malfoy boy was too close to Hermione to risk sending him away without finding out more about his so called discovery. _

"_And what do you want?" He finally asked trying to sound as if he didn't care much about the answer, sadly the boy wasn't fooled by it for a second. _

"_I want you to tell her," Draco's ice cold voice answered without hesitation. "I want you to tell Granger the truth! About the curse and why you are so determined to claim her."_

"_That's none of your business." _

"_Oh, but I intend to make it my business!" The blonde snapped with a cold gleam in his eyes. "Granger might be one of the most intelligent witches who ever walked this earth, but she is also naïve and much too trusting for her own good. One would think spending time with Scarhead and the Weasel or at least the war would make her question the motives of people, but she's too willing to see the good in people." _

"_Well good for you," Nathaniel fired back. "Considering the way you treated her for most of her life." Draco was good at controlling his features, a skill he probably learned during his service for the Dark Lord, but Fawkes didn't need to see him flinch to know he had struck a nerve. _

"_What makes you think you are allowed to take the same liberties?" The snotty tone in his voice annoyed Nathaniel to no end, but he too could play a blank face. "And unlike you, I never pretended to be someone I'm not."_

_He had a point there. "I never lied to her," he answered none the less. It was the truth after all, he hadn't lied to Hermione per se. _

"_Maybe, but you didn't tell her everything she needs to know either." _

"_She knows all she needs!" _

_Nathaniel realised too late that he shouldn't have snapped at him like that. The cold gleam in these stone grey eyes focused on him for a few silent moments before Draco finally spoke again. _

"_I have no idea whom you wronged so severely that she saw it fit to curse you like this and really, I don't care. But what I care about is Hermione. She's endured enough already and I won't have you use her to lift your curse. You will tell her! Her stupid Gryffindor nobility might force her to help you anyway, but she will be aware of your true colours at least." _

_Did the boy have any idea what he was talking about? He couldn't tell Hermione the truth. If he did, she would never do what must be done and he would be forced into his bird form once again. _

_Once again a soft voice in the back of his mind ask him if that would be such a bad thing. The last one hundred years hadn't been so bad after all. He'd felt a form of freedom and independence that he could never have gained in his human life. _

_But the Slytherin in him revolted at the thought of being forced into a life that he hadn't chosen for himself. He'd wronged Anabelle, but he had paid dearly for it, hadn't he? His punishment had been fulfilled a long time ago as far as he was concerned and his Slytherin nature animated him to take any measures that were necessary to keep it that way. And it all started and ended with Hermione._

_Nathaniel only had to convince her to go along with the necessary ritual, without her knowing all the details at best. He would never force her, but Hermione liked him and he couldn't deny that he liked her, so it was no crime trying to convince her was it? No! She would gain something from it too after all. She would get him, his money, influence and support. Nathaniel would make sure that she would want for nothing, he would be good to her. And who knew over the years it might become more. Even love! _

_Deep down within him Nathaniel knew it was morally questionable but who could allow himself the luxury of morals when ones life dependent on it? Not him. _

_But this snotty, arrogant boy in front of him, who had lived without much morals for the greater part of his life as well, was hell bent to ruin everything. _

_Nathaniel didn't bother to mask the irritation he felt and sneered at the blonde. "I think it's time for you to leave now!" His voice was low and threatening but Draco merely raised a perfectly shaped eye-brow at him and lifted himself from his seat, obviously unimpressed which only irked him further. _

"_Sure, sure...I'm only halfway through the book anyway. It's really extensive, you know?" The slimy rat smiled at him. "I would like to finish it this weekend so I can give it to Granger on Monday." _

_In other words Malfoy granted him this weekend to speak to Hermione about the curse, otherwise he would do that for him. Nathaniel was seething with rage, he could feel his wand arm twitching with the urge to hex the boy but managed to stop himself. Without another word he stomped over to the door and ripped it open. He was just about to open his mouth to tell him to get lost, when a curly haired witch stumbled into his room. _

* * *

Nathaniel couldn't remember who was more shocked about her sudden appearance. Malfoy, he himself or Hermione. Although her embarrassment at being caught eavesdropping had quickly changed into fury. Fawkes had heard rumours that she possessed quite a temper, but he wasn't prepared for her murderous glare nor the painful right hook that landed on his nose before he was even able to open his mouth.

In fact he been so shocked that he just stared at her, while she turned around and fled. Never, in all his years, had a person dared to lay a hand on him. Of course he'd found himself on the wrong end of a wand more than once, but nobody ever used a fist to express their displeasure. Least of all a woman!

Malfoy had just grinned at him and made some smart-ass comment about him being lucky that she hadn't used her wand on him. His throbbing nose sure as hell didn't feel lucky.

That had been two weeks ago and he hadn't heard a word from her since. Of course he'd tried to follow her once he had gotten over his shock, but it had been to late. She'd already fled to the safety of her rooms and the painting in front of her door had just glared at him and told him in no uncertain terms to sod off.

Of course Dumbledore had been quickly informed about the little incident as always. There weren't many things that happened in this school that the old wizard wasn't aware of. Nobody knew that better than him.

Much to Nathaniel's dismay his former master had asked him to leave Hogwarts for a while and allow Hermione the time she needed.

Time! _Time! _

Time was the one thing Nathaniel didn't have at his disposal.

Pacing up and down in front of the fireplace at Fawkes Manor he remembered Albus words.

"_We both know Miss Granger is a reasonable woman, she will come around and you will have the opportunity to explain everything to her, old friend." _The headmaster had smiled that irritating smile at him and Nathaniel could practically hear the unspoken – _like you should have done from the start –_ in his head.

Easy for him to say, Nathaniel thought bitterly. It wasn't his life that was on the line.

And the timing couldn't have been worse. The last few weeks had been perfect, especially the ones following the Gala on New Years Eve. They had spend almost every day together and Nathaniel could see that Hermione finally allowed herself to believe his interest in her was for real – which it was! Like his Belle, Hermione didn't know her own worth but Nathaniel had sworn himself to make her see how special she was.

_Mission failed_, he thought unhappily and changed the direction of his steps once again. All he managed to do was hurt her and made her believe that he was just using her. Which he wasn't, not entirely at least. He preferred to think of it as a win-win situation for the both of them.

"She likes me and I like her," he muttered angrily. "Isn't that enough?" Of course she was able to help him with his little problem, but it wasn't as if he would leave her afterwards, was it? No, he hadn't planned to do that. Not since he got to know her better.

He really liked Hermione. She was certainly not breathtakingly beautiful or had some sort of exotic allure to her, but she was pretty, charming and intelligent. She was also loyal, passionate and witty. All qualities he appreciated. The Slytherin in him also acknowledged that she was well connected and famous due to her role in the last war. All in all, a man like himself couldn't hope for a better partner. She surely was his counterpart, so why was everybody acting as if he'd committed a crime? Morally speaking, he probably had which was one of the reasons he had refused to tell Hermione the whole story. Which witch liked to think of herself as a mere tool to fix a curse? None! So why strain their relationship with unnecessary things, when he could have lifted the rest of the curse without her knowing?

He was willing to try and explain everything to her, but in true Gryffindor stubbornness she refused to see him, talk to him or even write to him. And by now even his exhausted owl refused to cooperate with him and simply ignored him.

Sighing deeply he let himself fall into his father´s favourite winged chair and eyed the firewhisky for a moment before he decided one glass couldn't hurt anyone.

Why was he always mucking things up, when they were at their best? First Anabelle and now Hermione. He should have maintained his old way; every day another woman. No name, no feelings and certainly no drama.

Within hindsight one was always cleverer.

* * *

Hermione was done with crying. Some days it felt as if she hadn't done anything else since the war had ended. Funny, considering the world should be better and lighter now that Voldemort was dead. Determined she rubbed the tears from her eyes and pushed the sheets aside. She'd hid in her room long enough, it was time to find her backbone again, held her head high and demand some answers. But it wasn't as easy as she would have liked. It never was.

Despite her young age Hermione was no stranger to pain, emotional as well as physical. But matters of the heart seemed to always cut so much deeper than any knife ever could.

Ron had shown her that more than one time and she shouldn't be that surprised that Nathaniel did the same. In the beginning she had suspected him to have some doubtful motive to ask her out, though she had assumed he viewed her as some sort of pity project or wanted to date her because of some twisted sense of guilt. Like he was supposed to court her because she lifted his curse.

The truth tasted even more bitter than her fears.

"_...I won't have you use her to lift the curse..."_

So it wasn't broken, not entirely at last. His interest in her made much more sense now. And Hermione was nearly as angry with herself as she was with him. How could she have been so stupid? A few flowery words, some extravagant dates and some hot kisses and Hermione Granger, cleverest witch of her age, was a quivering mass.

"Cleverest witch, my ass," she muttered irritated and swung her legs out of her bed but paused for a moment to let her body absorb the sudden change in position.

She was fairly inexperienced when it came to boys, a novice really. Due to her plain appearance and her intimidating knowledge, she'd never been the centre of interest for any male. Apart from Viktor. He'd been the first person to ever really acknowledged her as a girl. Even Ron never thought her as anything else than just one of the boys. People expected them to be together so they were and for a long time Hermione fancied herself in love with him. Though if she was honest with herself that childish love had vanished long before they got together, but his betrayal didn't hurt any less. She'd still thought of him as her best friend and the way he treated her had hit her hard.

And Fawkes...she had really believed he liked her. How utterly stupid of her!

He had simply used her! And not even in the typical _boy-uses-girl-for-his-own-satisfaction_ kind of way. No, obviously all the affection had been merely an act to get her to help him. Somehow Hermione found that more humiliating than him trying to get her to sleep with him.

"Who are you kidding, Hermione?" she muttered to herself and found her way to the bathroom. A nice hot shower was exactly what she needed now. "In which world would someone like him settle for a girl like you?" Cursing herself she stepped under the shower head and began her usual ritual.

All her self-doubts, which he had managed to ease during the last few weeks were back and now more than ever did she knew them to be true.

Why hadn't he simply asked for her help? Obviously she possessed the ability to break his curse and Draco had been right, when he told Nathaniel that her Gryffindor heart would coerce her to help him. So why did he have to pretend to care for her?

What did he want her to do, that he couldn't ask her but had to use sneaky tactics to get her to agree? What exactly had Draco found in that book, that Nathaniel felt so threatened by it? And why in Merlin's name had it to be her to break that curse?

It seemed there were a lot of unanswered questions and if there was one thing Hermione Granger didn't like was being in the dark. She would have to change that.

Quickly!

Stepping out of the shower, she decided that there were a few people who could expect a visit from her during the next days, but first she had some homework to finish. She'd lost enough time already, first due to spending time with Nathaniel and than wallowing in self-pity.

The NEWT's were coming and Hermione Granger didn't intend to leave this school without passing them with flying colours. Nathaniel and his stupid curse could wait, at least for a few days.

* * *

_3 weeks later: _

Taking a last deep breath to collect her courage Hermione raised her hand and knocked on the door which lead to the headmaster's office. Like always, her hand had barley touched the wood when Dumbledore's voice invited her in.

"Ah, Miss Granger you were awaited with bated breath," he welcomed her with that annoying twinkle in his eye. From the way Nathaniel stiffened in his seat in front of Dumbledore's desk, it was obvious that he didn't appreciate Albus´ opening.

Hermione didn't either. She wasn't here to play games, but to get some answers and she hoped that Dumbledore's presence might help her to get them without Nathaniel trying lure her in with pretty words again.

"Please take a seat," the headmaster continued, ignoring the icy glares she was sending in Nathaniel's direction as well as the angry ones Fawkes was directing at him.

"Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you." Really did she look as if she was interested in sweets at the moment? She used the moment of silence to let her eyes glide over Nathaniel's form. Like always he looked as if he'd just stepped out of a glamour wizard magazine. Perfect from head to toe. At least in appearance. His character was a different story, she thought bitterly.

Hermione could see his yaw muscles working despite the blank face he'd put on. Obviously he was itching to talk, but remained silent nonetheless.

"Miss Granger, am I right to assume you asked for this gathering because you have some questions?" Hermione didn't miss the little smile that tugged on his lips but nodded anyway. _Hermione Granger has some questions...duh what else was new?_

A few days ago she'd cornered Draco and demanded the book he'd been talking about. None to surprisingly he'd handed it over without hesitation. As far as she understood the old text, Fawkes had been cursed with ancient spell that wasn't labelled dark simply because no one knew of it any more. Her interpretation of the runes and text had her assuming that only a person who was severely wronged and willing to pay a certain price could use it though. Obviously that had been the case in Nathaniel's case and Hermione had to admit that she was curious to learn the story behind it.

"Yes, that is correct," she admitted and fixed her eyes on Nathaniel once again. "I would like to know about the curse. The how, why, who and especially what I have to do with it!" Hermione demanded though the book had given her a pretty good idea about her role in all of this.

"Hermione I..."

"Stop!" She interrupted Fawkes as soon as her name slipped from his lips. From the way he pronounced it and the pleading look on his face Hermione could see where this would go and she had no interest to hear his excuses. She'd spent the last three weeks mulling over everything that had happened so far. From her strange dreams, to Fawkes' change at the Halloween ball up to his behaviour towards her over the last months and what she'd learned from his talk to Draco as well as from reading the grimoire. At first she'd felt like crying every time she thought about it, but the more time past the more angry she felt. And she wasn't about to let Nathaniel guilty trip her into doing anything. She wanted answers no excuses.

"Please, just tell me what I want to know."

She was proud to notice that her voice still sounded even and clear.

A defeated sigh escaped Nathaniel before he finally nodded. "Alright. You deserve the truth."

"Yes, I definitely do!" She admitted probably with more force than needed which made him He winced slightly and for a brief moment his eyes glided towards Dumbledore. But the headmaster remained silent and sucked happily on another lemon drop.

"In my lifetime...I mean the one as a human I was betrothed to be married to a young girl whose father was one of my father´s business associates. She was sweet and pretty but also very soft hearted. There...had been a...misunderstanding which had her jumping to the wrong conclusions."

"_Misunderstanding_?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't made an effort to dampen the disbelief in her voice. He had to think her a foul if he expected her to believe that.

"Well," Nathaniel coughed and looked more than just a bit uncomfortable in his chair. "As I said, she was a very soft hearted girl. She saw something that she shouldn't have and...I guess it hurt her."

A noise between a cough and a laugh could be heart and Hermione was astonished to notice it was Dumbledore who made it. He raised one bushy white eyebrow at his former companion before he snaffled another lemon drop from his not so secret stash.

"Alright, alright! It broke her heart okay?"

No, nothing was okay, but Nathaniel still seemed obvious to the fact. For the first time since she'd met him he appeared to her like the spoiled, egoistic prat he obviously had been in his former life. Of course she'd known that he was arrogant and could be somewhat vain but during their shared time she'd also experienced his other side. The intelligent, witty and thoughtful man that made her laugh and made her feel special. This egoistic side wasn't something she practically liked to discover.

But there had to be a reason for his current situation and Hermione was determined to discover the truth. Every part of it not just the ones Nathaniel felt comfortable sharing with her.

"What exactly did you do?"

He shot her a glare that clearly showed her that he wouldn't share that particular piece of information with her.

"Fine," she snapped. "What happened after _she jumped to the wrong conclusions_?" At first it didn't look as if he would answer that question either but finally he shrugged.

"She attempted suicide," he mumbled while he avoided to look at her.

Though she was shocked she could hardly say she was surprised. What ever he had done had to be awful to animate someone to use that curse. But if the girl committed suicide who was the one that cursed him? Frowning she mused over what he said.

"You said she attempted suicide. Did she succeed?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" She asked stunned. "You hurt her so badly that she tried to kill herself and you don't even know if she succeeded?" He still refused to look at her, which only fuelled the anger and the bewilderment she felt. "How can you not know? Didn't you care what happened to her?"

"I was a little preoccupied at the time!" Now he sounded sullen and Hermione had a hard time to hold her temper in check.

"Preoccupied with what Nathaniel? Feeling sorry for yourself?"

It was meant as a mean jab, but as soon as the words left her mouth, Hermione knew she'd hit the mark.

"You can not be serious!" Hermione snapped outraged. Who was this man in front of her? Surely not the same she'd come to care for over the winter holidays.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore's soft voice called her attention towards him. "Please calm your self down. I'm sure Mister Fawkes was just about to elaborate his situation further."

An unladylike snort escaped her lips which earned her a sharp look from the grey haired wizard who for a change wasn't sucking on some kind of sweet. For the first time since she entered his office there wasn't a smile on his lips or a twinkle in his eyes and suddenly Hermione wasn't so sure if it had been a good idea to hold this _meeting _in his office. She'd wanted neutral grounds but thinking about it now, she realised that this room had been Nathaniel's home for over four decades.

Not to forget he'd been Albus Dumbledore's companion for even longer. Maybe the headmaster wasn't as unbiased as she'd thought.

Irritated at herself that she had overseen such important facts she forced herself to lean back in her chair. "Fine!" Stretching the word unnecessary long she spared Dumbledore a side glance before her eyes wandered back to the man to her right. She still wanted answers. "I'm listening."

Nathaniel just sat there unaffected as if nothing happened and stared out of the window. Perhaps lost in memories, perhaps thinking of ways to safe his neck.

"There's not much to tell. To answer your question, it was her mother who cursed me. She was from an ancient German magical family who were rumoured to be adept in dark magic. I guess it wasn't just rumours. She placed the curse upon me and two weeks later I awoke as a phoenix." His voice seemed indifferent but Hermione knew that probably was just an act. "It wasn't before you finally reached your magical maturity that the curse was broken."

"Wait what? My maturity?" Automatically her eyes turned to Dumbledore.

"Much like your body your magic grows over time. Simply said your magic passes through growth periods much like your body during puberty till it reaches its maturity. Normally a witch or wizard comes into his full magical power around their mid twenties. It seems that you Miss Granger, as usually, are far ahead of your pears." And that damned twinkle was back in his eyes.

Not so long ago Hermione would have taken such a declaration as a compliment. She would have blushed and basked in the feel of success that such an achievement would bring with it. But now she just felt annoyed.

"So my coming into my _magical maturity _is the reason I could break the curse before now. But why me?" Silence greeted her for so long that she once again had a hard time to hold her temper in check.

"You are special, princesses." She wanted to snap at him for using that name but was afraid he would fall silent again, so she gritted her teeth and held her tongue in check. "I'm sure the grimoire Draco gave you showed you that a woman was necessary to break the curse. But the inventor of the curse made sure that it couldn't be any woman. It had to be a witch whose magic matches mine to break the first part of the curse. I think we both know that you fit the part." Finally he was looking at her again. There was an odd look of sadness and affection in his eyes, but Hermione wasn't really sure if she could trust him.

"You said my magic was able to break the first part of the curse...so there is a second part?"

Grudgingly he nodded and though Hermione had known it since she eavesdropped his talk with Draco she couldn't stop from feeling betrayed once again.

"So you did use me all along. You were never really interested in me, you just wanted me to break the curse for you." She hated herself for sounding so vulnerable and hurt but she couldn't stop the tremor in her voice.

"Princess -"

"Don't call me that!"

"Hermione, that isn't true...well maybe at first, but after I got to know you better I...I really like you!" Nathaniel looked at her with his much too beautiful green eyes and Hermione could see that he really thought that was enough. He still couldn't understand why she was so angry with him.

"Do you really think it's okay than?"

"No, but-" He tried to interrupt but she wouldn't let him.

"Because you decided you like me? How relieving -for you! I'm sure it made your efforts so much more enjoyable after you decided that you _liked _me! You _used _me, Nathaniel! And you still would if I hadn't overheard you and Draco."

"Hermione I-"

"Why couldn't you just ask me for help? Draco was right about me trying to help you if I could. Why did you have to hurt me, Nathaniel? After all I told you...after what Ron-" She interrupted herself not willing to go there, but hurried to continue before he got the chance to find his voice.

"Just tell me what it is you need from me so badly that you can't ask for it."

As soon as the question left her lips Nathaniel hurried to look anywhere but her eyes. Slowly she started to ask herself if she really wanted to know what it took to break the curse, given his odd behaviour every time she wanted to know something about it.

"Miss Granger are you familiar with the _Semper fidelis _charm?" Dumbledore had obviously sensed that Nathaniel wasn't going so answer.

Frowning she shook her head. "No sir, I guess it has nothing to do with the _Fidelius charm_?"

"You are right in your assumption. It is a charm that isn't practised any more these days. Originally it was used in traditional marriage ceremonies but that practise ran out in the late fifteenth century."

Frowning she tried to understand what an ancient marriage ceremony which wasn't practised any longer had anything to do with her current situation.

"The reason behind the charm was to ensure fidelity in the marriage. Usually it was forced upon a witch to strip her of any possibilities of escaping the marriage, as the charm works only on the female part of a couple."

"What?" She gasped appealed. "How utterly barbaric and -"

"Miss Granger I understand your anger but you must understand that society worked differently in those days."

As far as Hermione understood it, it hadn't changed that much. The Wizarding World was still ruled mostly by men.

"What has an ancient rite to do with anything?"

The pointed look she received from Dumbledore should have told her everything, but she still failed to put the pieces together. "I fear I still don't understand, sir!"

"Oh come on, it isn't that hard to understand, princess!" Nathaniel spoke up with a bitter tone in his voice. "To break the curse completely, I need you to bind yourself to me in the ancient way, before the fires of Beltaine are burning!"

Shocked to the core she looked at him. Was he serious? He expected her to bind herself to him in a way that would take her independence from her completely while he could live his life like he wished? But suddenly she realised that was exactly what he'd aimed for all along. That was the reason he had been so persistent in wooing her.

He'd been like a spider luring his prey into his net out of charming words and hollow promises. Could she really believe anything he ever said to her, even now? But regardless of his selfish and cruel intentions, did he really think he could get her to agree to marry him till April? She was Hermione Granger for crying out loud. It wasn't often that she would do something imprudent and offhanded without analysing it from every angle possible. And marrying him six months after the first hello seemed pretty imprudent to her.

"You really expected me to marry you and bind myself to you so completely while you would be free to do as you pleased?" She snorted. "Oh, of course you would have kept that part to yourself. But did you really think you could get me to marry you, just like that? Even before I found out your intentions? We barely know each other! And let's not forget that I'm just eighteen for Merlin's sake! And I haven't even finish school yet."

From the expression on his face, she could tell that he didn't understand a word she was saying. Obviously these simple things never crossed his mind.

"I would be good to you, Hermione. I'm rich and the Fawkes name still holds importance in the Wizarding world. You would want for nothing. Everything you would wish for would be yours and-"

"Stop!" She interrupted his distraught words. "You don't get it, do you? You are the same selfish, arrogant prat you obviously have been all those centuries ago! One would think that three hundred years of punishment were enough to make you see the error in your ways! But all you've been doing since you are back in your human body is thinking of ways to trick me to free yourself, regardless of what that would mean to me!" At the end of her speech her voice was quivering from her effort to hold back all the emotions that went though her at that moment. "If you still haven't learned anything from your mistakes, maybe this isn't the right time for your curse to be broken. I sure as hell liked you much better when you still had a pair of wings!" As soon as the words left her mouth she felt bad about them. The curse was harsh and nobody deserved to be caged in that way, regardless of their crime. It was simply inhumane.

Ashamed about herself she cast her eyes down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that! But it doesn't change anything." Rising from her chair on only slightly wobbly legs she cast a quick glance at the headmaster, who was watching her with an unreadable look on his face, before she turned to Nathaniel. For a change he was looking directly at her. Sympathy welled up in her as she noticed the agonised look in his eyes, but she wasn't willing to give in. Not after what he intended to do to her.

"I'm sorry," she started again, unsure why she felt it necessary to make excuses. It wasn't her that should feel sorry. "I need time to think, I better go now!" For a moment it looked like Nathaniel wanted to protest but in the end he simply nodded and continued to look out of the window, once again. Anger welled up in her. Hadn't he even the decency to say something? Swallowing the words that lay on her tongue she turned around and left, feeling drained and empty like she hadn't since the final battle.

TBC (hopfully soon...)


End file.
